The BG In The City

Pool Party

2012-02-13T03:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to the pool. Yes! It was amazing! I got to see all my elderly pool bunny buddies and I splished and splashed and attempted to swim and spun in circles and everything! It was amazing! I got home, invigorated and ready to work. Unfortunately, once I sat down, I found I was so sore I was paralyzed and couldn't move! It's okay, lol, because I am invigorated this morning. Today marks the beginning of going to look at apartments. I shall keep you posted!

Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody

2012-02-12T04:15:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that Whitney is dead! She looks so young and pretty
and healthy in this video!

Self Repair

2012-02-11T05:43:00.000-08:00

So, I was listening to one of those militant relationship people on TV, in theme with Vday being around the corner, and she said that before God can send you the person for you, you have to repair yourself to be ready to receive him. GOD! I hope that's not true! I am like the dating scene Humpty Dumpty. I have tons of pieces that need glue and stapling and a spit shine. If I started today, and began dedicating 40 hours a week to my emotional repair, making it a full time job, I would probably be fully repaired and ready to receive love by 65 years old. I know, I know, better late than never, but still. I won't be able to have kiddies. I won't want to have sex. But on the glass half-full end, it could be fun having a strapping older gentleman with me to pick out matching burial plots. It's cheaper to get two than one, and they will give me a fair estimate on a price because I will be with a man. They won't try to gimp me. I guess that it is true that there is bright side in the race to find love.

P and the New Beau

2012-02-11T05:29:00.000-08:00

So P has a beau. And yes, he always has a beau. But this one he wants to marry. SIGH. I have spent the past few nights listening to him sound like Holly, talking about someone he likes that isn't attainable at the moment. I wish someone would have mercy on me and just kick me off the top of something high. Lauren asked me a good question: why do I even talk to him about this if I can't handle it? Why am I putting myself through this? Well, other than apparently liking being hurt, I figure I need to get all my convos in with him before he gets hitched and I never hear from him again. I mean, enough! How long does it take to FULLY get over someone? It has been 5 YEARS! I don't like him as much as I did in the beginning, true that, but there is still like residue there. What if it's always there? Ewww! I really don't want this to be on my mind when I am like 40.

The VDay Plan

2012-02-11T05:18:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is coming up, and I am determined not to be a Vday Victim. I will not be depressed. I will not be sad. And I also will not be that single person out on the world's most important couple's day eating alone, pretending not to be effected. I am mailing out Vday cards to the homies, I am excited to buy all the candy I can on the 15th when it goes on sale, and I will probably change the date on my computer and phone to the day before so I think it is the 13th and not the 14th. I have found, after YEARS of inactive Vdays, that the best way to participate in the holiday is to pretend that it doesn't exist. Aside from sending out the cards. I just really like sending out cards. Is this scary and pathetic? Ab.So.Lute.Ly. But I have to cope! My deadline for work is next week, and I don't have time to be sad and depressed. Mind over matter.

M.I.A. - Bad Girls

2012-02-08T05:48:00.000-08:00

I have been loving M.I.A since before the middle finger at the
Superbowl and before "Paper Planes" was on the Pineapple Express
Soundtrack. So take that!

2012-02-06T22:31:00.001-08:00

Being goofy with the webcam.

Pac Div - Rollin (Official Video)

2012-02-05T06:25:00.000-08:00

OK, it looks as if I am becoming obsessed with Pac Div. I will try to
make this my last Pac Div post...but I make no promises.

The Haunting of Andrew Pounders

2012-02-05T06:13:00.000-08:00

I went to school with a young man named Andrew Pounders. He was younger than me by a of couple of years. He had a girl friend with really long Brandi braids, and he was from California. He had locks. And our whole time at XU together, I only had one conversation with him. Recently he died of cancer at 24, and for some reason, this effected me as if it was cousin or brother that died. I didn't even know this guy! But he got me to thinking about life in general. He was only a baby and was snatched from life just like that. And I am generally jaded about death. I have been fat my whole life, so everyone has been happily profitizing my death to me since I was in kindergarten. But since he died a few months ago, I have been thinking about death all the time. The cherry on top: today is his birthday. Like, why does this boy mean so much to me right now? Sounds like it's time for some self evaluation. I will let you know the results.

2012-02-05T05:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went out to dinner at Chili's with new friend Amberly. She volunteers with the same organization I do. Margaritas. Nacho chips. Good times.

2012-02-05T05:47:00.000-08:00

So I am a geek. This we know. Like, every morning I wish a happy birthday to all of my Facebook friends that have a birthday, some of them I kind of really don't know. But I feel like birthday wishes are like compliments: you shouldn't give them if you don't mean them. Today I went on a girl's page to wish her a happy bday and the person before me had commented "hbd...". Um...that was the saddest slackass bday wish I'd ever seen! And as someone who usually has a basket full of birthday disappointments, I take bday slackassery seriously.

Holls and Connie: A Conversation in Texts

2012-02-03T05:55:00.000-08:00

In the middle of the night, I had a menstrual sneak attack. Sigh. So I was already annoyed. Imagine my attitude when I rolled over and saw the first of several texts from Connie at like 2 am. Eye. Roll. Ladies and gentlemen, I call this Holls and Connie: A Conversation in Texts. Please excuse any misspellings or grammatical no-nos to us practically texting in our sleep!

Connie (2:14AM): Do me a favor don't the cut the heat to 80 degrees my bill is going up do you remember when you did not want me messing with the air conditioner im asking to please give the same respect mam and also don't sit in the dining chairs please they cost way to much even if you don't sit on the chairs like that I'd perfer you to only sit on that bench please and back to the heat if you are going to cut it on cut the heat to 70 degrees please thank you. Holly's note: sure, I asked her to keep the air off, but she still ran that damn fan 24/7 which ran up the electricity which is the bill I pay!

Holly (3:16AM): I haven't sat in your dining room chairs since like FOREVER, lol! Sure, I will leave your heat at 80, no prob. Also, can you turn off your hearter and lights while your gone and take your male guests with you when you leave for the day? It is startling to me when I think I am here alone and a man Ive never seen before leaves your room to pee. Luckily I figured you were just disregarding another one of my requests and didn't call the police.

Connie (3:26AM) Lol but I thought you knew him at least Holly's note: why would I know her beaus? Why would I want to? and I went up the street hell I did not know the big dummie was up I thought you were in the bathroom and mam you did not talk to me about me leaving anyone here by themselves but any way thank you for not sitting in my chairs and keeping the heat down.

Connie (3:31AM): That's 70 degrees that you can it down and I only you because you told to stop yelling cutting an ass and if the light was on and you did not like it then say s something to me about it i will not know unless you tell me. Holly's note: I have to tell you it's stupid to have on your lights all night and during the day? THE SUN IS OUT!

Connie (3:52) You know you don't have to live here next year because everything I do in your mind is a problem and I really don't understand why you would live with a person that you clearly don't like and have respect for as a person make this your last lease with my mother why stay where you are not happy, you communication comes off as if you are bothered the only thing that I ask is to clean up and talk to me if you feel like there is a problem because at the end of the day you stay here for right now whatever problem is you need to talk to me and not my mother because more than likey i have already ler her know about i have done so it is best to talk to me if you have a problem with what im doing and toak to me and don't talk at me Holly's note: Her mother doesn't know half the stuff she does, please! Would you tell your mom you did five different dudes in a week? I wouldn't, but then again, I am working with a full set of marbles and have dignity.

Holly (4:25AM) This is silly. Again, I told you I was going to be talking to your mother because I was tired of you disrespecting me and because she is my landlord. And you said that that was fine. As far as leaving strangers here, y should I have to tell you that's a problem?! Would you want me leaving random and questionable folks alone with you for hours? Again, silly. If it happens again I wont tell your mom, I will tell the police because, as far as I am concerned, anyone who is here when you and Audra are gone is an intruder. And you dont have to worry about me being here another year sweets. THAT IS A PROMISE:) Your overall disrespect and disregard for my feelings has shown me you don't want me around. Find someone else you can sucker into paying more than you to live here when its "your house". Tell me how that goes. I feel we r clear on each others feelings. I will only be communicating with you when absolutely necessary.

Connie (4:34AM): Well, you still need to let me know if the lights are on in my room so that I can cut them off and as disrespect goes you done it as well and disregard me so dont sound like theres a problem thank you for moving out too

Holly (4:45AM) LOLOLOL! No problemo. Maybe after you get that first 300 dollar power bill you will be more appreciative of my contribution to this place, but I doubt it. Nor do I car. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Connie (4:47AM) Yea ok nite dear
Connie ( 4: 47AM) Im sorry dear

Holly (4:59AM) Don't be sorry girl! Its all good. As you know, my lease is up in September. We don't have to communicate past them.

Whoever said you don't know a person until you live with them was right! I grew up with this girl and had no idea she was...CRAZY! When I don't feel like I'm living in hell, I feel like I'm living in a brothel! If I could make moonshine and roll joints there would be a possible business venture in this place! Stay tuned for posts on my apartment hunt. Knowing me and my budget, I know this will be a hilarious nightmare.

Pac Div - Posted (Official Video)

2012-02-03T02:42:00.000-08:00

Again, I love Pac Div. I found this video on YouTube.

Return to the Water

2012-02-02T20:02:00.000-08:00

I am ITCHING to get in the pool, even though it freezing! I love the way I feel in the water, like I can run And yes, I have been busy and slipping on the pool. But I look forward to going this weekend. It clears my head, you know? And lately, my brain has been a wee bit foggy.

2012-02-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

So I got to go to LA with the magazine to do a cover shoot with Ameriie. What is she like? Very petite and funny. She's really easy to talk to and has TONS of hair. I look totally asleep in this pic, lol.

UGH LA FITNESS!

2012-02-01T06:40:00.000-08:00

So, today I woke up, logged into Chase.com, and saw that my account looked a wee bit funny. Damn LA Fitness zapped some mystery zap out of my account. This, I am assuming, is the follow up to the $60 zap they zapped out last month that left me in a financial strap. The easy solution would be just to cancel my membership, seeing that I haven't been in like three months. But if I cancel it, I will just use not having a gym membership as the excuse as to why I don't exercise. Sigh.

Beyoncé: Sartorial Duty

2012-01-30T15:46:00.000-08:00

Really cool video.

The House That Hell Built: Episode 1

2012-01-29T18:42:00.001-08:00

2012-01-28T20:02:00.000-08:00

So I went to this event at the Simco Lifestyle showroom, which sells these really funky home furnishing and fixtures. I fell in love with these little bodies. You can't see it in this picture, but the gold one was made of keys. Cute right?

Ugh

2012-01-27T00:28:00.000-08:00

Today, I met another one of Connie's guys. Eye roll. I dared to come out my cage and make dinner and she left the house and came back with him. He was polite. He spoke to me and when they went on their pre-bang liquor run, he asked me if I wanted anything. He seems nice. So nice in fact that it took everything in me not to tell him to run for his life. Another day in the house that hell built.

I Told The Storm - Greg O'Quin 'N Joyful Noize

2012-01-26T06:35:00.000-08:00

I have always liked this song, but I couldn't find it on YouTube. I
asked Mommy and she told me that name. Duh, should have done
that in the beginning.

P Irritation

2012-01-26T06:02:00.000-08:00

Of late, I find that I have been annoyed with P, even though he has been on his best behavior. I trace this irritation back to his finding a potential wife. Sigh. I really thought I had made some progress and I was over this! Like, it was weird listening to him tell me about the girl, because I had still in the back of my mind figured I would be his wife. Am I retarded or something? A person can't be any clearer about their feelings about someone than P has been with me. Not. Interest. Since. Day. One. And in my mind, I have created this fictional marital life that will never come to pass. P isn't even P in these fantasies. It's the P have created! A P that doesn't cut me off when I talk and that isn't a sexist; a P that doesn't think he's smarter than me and that pays me compliments. I gotta be honest kiddos, I am a wee bit sensitive when it comes to issues of the marital sort. It is something that I didn't think I wanted until all my male friends started tying the knot and getting engaged. Now I am left with the bones of the situation. Not happy about that. I don't want to be alone. Double. Sigh.

2012-01-26T05:53:00.001-08:00

Me at the 19th Hole Magazine Event! It was a celebration of The Chinese New Year, Year of the Dragon.

Contract!

2012-01-20T06:14:00.000-08:00

This week was also big in that I got my first contracted client, Courtney A. Hammonds! He is a blogger/fashion extraordinare, and I am hella excited about working with him. So now I have two clients, Karen and Courtney. Look at me movin' on up, lol. I am just too excited a bout this new addition in my life.

Computer Drama

2012-01-20T05:57:00.001-08:00

Guys, let me just say, that this past week has gone from cold to hot, thank God.
Last weekend I noticed a red X over the battery icon of my computer. Not two days later, it would not charge.
Can I just say that I cried! My life is my computer! So, I went down to Target and got a new charger, just for it to work for an hour and go caplunk!
That night was one of the worst nights of my life. I cried over that sad machine until I went to sleep or passed out, I can't be sure. Why the tears? Because I was broke and heavily invested in that prehistoric thing!
But all is well. I have a new comp and a new attitude. Back to work I go. LOL, it was a long week.

Diggy - Do It Like You ft. Jeremih [Official Video]

2012-01-20T05:42:00.000-08:00

I know that this is totally illegal, but I have a huge crush on little Baby
Drake Diggy Simmons! He's like Drake before he was dumped a million
times! His songs are adorable, he is adorable, and his love interest in
the video is a brown girl! I am sold!

2012-01-14T19:44:00.000-08:00

I was invited to an event called REAL TALK: Let's Talk Sex. It was hosted by Deshai Cole and it was really fun. There was a topless bartender (yum) and a lot of open, candid convo on sex. A lot of Ciroc, laughter, and honest convo made for a good Friday night. Ready for the next one!

Pac Div - Fallin' [Official Video]

2012-01-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

Why is Pac Div not more famous? I LOVE them! Especially the boney
one. I love me a boney dude! Plus, this song is just adorable.

The Caper

2012-01-13T22:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, look at me looking hot in my red cape on my way to the Deshai Cole event. I have had it for a while, but I have just found out how to wear it. Don't I look adorable, lol. Check out the face and those hips. HOT if I do say so myself, lol.

All of the Lights

2012-01-13T22:15:00.000-08:00

So, I walk in the house tonight after a really cool night at Deshai Cole's Real Sex Talk feeling happy. As soon as I turn on the light, both Connie and Audra come out of their rooms and start yelling. Apparently, they had gotten in an argument before I got home. I just stood there, staring at them both, watching them go back and forth. Then Connie said that she doesn't like it when we turn on the hall light because it messes with her sleep. Okay. In the end, I just had to roll my eyes. Just another pointless spat at hell house.

The Sheen Magazine Anniversary Party

2012-01-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

Like, I was the absolute cutest in my Igigi Ali in Red dress at the Sheen Mag Anniversary Party. I LOVE this dress! Check me out with Karen and Courtney!

Big Sean - Crazy (Official New Video) HD

2012-01-13T22:02:00.000-08:00

I like this song a lot. I can't really tell you why, lol. Maybe it is the beat.

Razor Blades and STDs

2012-01-11T19:47:00.000-08:00

Connie is at it again.
As you know, me and my friendemy/roomie have not talked in since before Thanksgiving, which, I must admit, has been a delight! No arguing, no stress, no drama. But she does still talk to our other roomie, and from the sounds of it, she is still apeshit crazy!
New roommate put her razor in the same drawer in the bathroom where Connie puts hers. Connie texts her and tells her not to do that because she doesn't want to get an STD...HUH? Somebody sign her up for an 8th grade health class!
But I can not say that I surprised. I don't think she can surprise me anymore. Not to long ago she asked me if I using her washcloth. ME! The same girl who bleaches the toilet before I sit on it. Eye roll. Same shit, different day.

Morals

2012-01-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

Sitting here, broke, I wish I was the type of girl that didn't have morals. I used to pride myself on them, but I see now that they just get in the way. That and my fear of God and Hell and all of that good stuff. I interviewed an Atheist porn star recently, and it got me to thinking of all the stuff I would probably do if I wasn't scared God would whoop my ass. Like right now, as my debts run across my mind, I think of how easy it would be for me to get a suga daddy or strip or steal or whatever if I didn't think I would have to pay for it through the health of my vajayjay or my eternal soul- if there were no consequences.

Tyga - Rack City [Official Video]

2012-01-11T19:28:00.001-08:00

"If you ain't got no ass bitch wear a poncho." Is this a joke, lol?

Maybe There Is Hope

2012-01-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

So, I was walking home tonight and two teen girls offered to carry my bags home for me. They were nice young ladies, one of them talking about how she was saving money for her 15th birthday in March. I didn't let them walk me all the way home because it was dark...and they are still 90s babies. Didn't want them to rob. However, carrying my bags was a nice gesture.

Soul II Soul - Keep On Movin'

2012-01-05T06:43:00.000-08:00

This is totally where my mind is at today. Good morning World!

The Engagement Scroog

2012-01-04T07:00:00.001-08:00

If I see one more updated status from "In A Relationship" to "Engaged" I am going to throw up.
P said I am being a hater. Maybe I is, but that doesn't calm my annoyance at. all.

Broke

2012-01-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

I am completely broke.
My cell phone is off and everytime I see an AT&T truck coming down the street, I am scared that they are coming my way to turn off my internet.
I have bills.
I have rent I need to pay.
And on top of that, my employer had some BULLSHIT reason to cut my salary in half.
On the other hand, I am excited about not having to think about whether I want to answer my phone, which has given me a since of calm. And, I took on a new client yesterday and found someone that wants to invest in my magazine:)
I feel like this week is going to be a good...broke week.

tony toni tone - anniversary

2011-12-31T03:50:00.000-08:00

The 26th of December was our anniversary! Three years! Yay for
us, thanking you for finding my troubled life entertaining!

Resolutions

2011-12-31T03:42:00.000-08:00

Every year I set myself up for failure with resolutions, but here we go:

Be serious about getting followers for my blogs.

Make plans for all the businesses in my head/ brand myself.

Visit my grandmother more.

Be EVEN more vocal about my love for those that I do love.

Save everything on my computer to one of those thingies.

Write more in my diary.

Go to the doctor.

Lear how to drive.

GET MY MONEY RIGHT!

Print all my pics and start scrap booking again.

This year I feel is going to be different. And not like how I felt this year was going to be different, lol. I feel like these are actually doable resolutions:)

Too Hot for Facebook

2011-12-30T08:15:00.000-08:00

I was surfing Facebook last night, as usual, when I decided to Facebook spy on the teen girls that I volunteer with. They have a nasty habit of putting, well, inappropriate pics up and scribbling nasty remarks on each other's walls.
So, I come upon one of my girls and my eyes widened. She was being WAY too sexy. And to put icing on the cake of her way-too-grown up photo, her boy friend comments on the pic and says something like, "Can I have it?" and she is like, "It's already yours." YIKES and GROSS!
She was born in 94, so that explains it all. These 90s babies are crazy, and the girls are in such a rush to be sexy! Their Facebook pages are full of hot and spicy bathroom cell phone pics where they pretend to kiss each other and hug each other by the belt loops. I know this because my sister texts me one of these pics just the other day!
One of the other girls I volunteer with wants me to get her some glamour shots done. She has wanted to be a model for a while, and now she really wants to be one now that her over sexed 17 year old pal has shown her model shots where she is looking over her shoulder at her own butt. She tells me over lunch, "I want to be more sexy." She is 14!
When I was 14 I had dookie braids, smelled a little, and was listening to The Miseducation of Lauren Hill on my portable CD player. I was also a Cadette Girl Scout. I was too busy writing poems about my sad tween life to be sexy. And as someone who just tured 27, I have to wonder, what is the rush to be grown up? And not grown up in a way where you fantasize about having your own apartment, but grown up like I can't wait to have sex and for people to see me naked? I just got off the phone with my Glamour Shot girl, and she explained it to me like so: "You are the old generation and we are the new generation." Ok...WHATEVER THAT MEANS! I shutter to think about myself at 90 with these kids taking care of me. They will be too busy having sex on the lunch room tables at my nursing home to bathe me and change my diapers!

A Curious Breakup

2011-12-28T18:30:00.001-08:00

Oh guys, you would have been proud of me yesterday. I put an end to the five year on and off whatever it was that I had with Curious. I was SO relieved! I really just don't want to go into the new year with any Curiouses or Sorta Beaus. They are toxic baggage. Enough already! You either like me or you don't! And if you don't, that's fine. I was just beginning to feel gross, allowing folks to come in and out of my life like I was an old stand by or something! I feel lighter. I am excited!

Bye Train Boy!

2011-12-28T18:06:00.000-08:00

Train boy had truly been buggin'! Note to self: don't give out your number when you are feeling bad about yourself.
Sigh.
Where do I begin. After literally the 20th call from Train, I decided firmly that he was crazy and decided to really ignore his calls and serial texts. Here is the result in text message:
Train: Dang ma y u dont want 2 tlk 2 me wats up wit dat
Me: I'm working
Train: (Texts pic of his weewee)
Me: I don't appreciate that, don't contact me again.
Train: (under weewee pic)I hope like this i really want 2 put this inside of & just punish you for ingnoring my calls
Me: No, don't contact me again. Thank u
Train: Fuck u fat ass bitch u r a big ass slob better b glad somebody want 2 holla i just wanted 2 fuck a fat ass woman atleast 1 x just 2 know how ur fat shake
Me: CONTACT ME AGAIN AND I WILL FILE A REPORT ON YOU WITH THE POLICE!
Train: This is the only mutha fuckn way I can get ur attention bitch yall stankn ass ho's dont like when a nigga b nice so im going 2 give u wat u want :)
Me: Consider the police called.
Train: Take you fat FEMA ass back to baton rouge (sidebar: why he assumed I was from there, not sure) ho was sum of fuckin fat pockets that have to come here to polute my city with your bad body order and fuck po po
Train: Fat bitch i don't give a flyn fuck wat do this is not my phone so do u miss piggie
The end. Disrepected yet again by a loser that didn't deserve my time in the first place. Next.

Come on Curious!

2011-12-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

Today I got texts, missed calls, and a Facebook chat from Curious, who seemed really, really eager to talk. I haven't talked to him in like three months, true to his usual B.S. Now, he is lonely because of the holidays and he wants someone to phone cake with. As you well know, I am hella lonely, but I have made a promise to myself not to call him or this co-dependent nightmare cycle will never end! It has been like 5 years. If he wanted to be with me, he would have made an effort. Instead, he just calls me on and off to make sure that he can still call me on and off. I am NOT going into the New Year with this.
10:10am: Sup beautiful, how are u doin I miss u
10:28am: Can u talk
9:10pm (text): Call me ASAP plz
Eyeroll. I already know what that's about. If only I had the guts to change my number.

Train Boy

2011-12-25T19:57:00.000-08:00

On my bday, while I was feeling crappy about myself, I ran met a guy on the train. He was cute, so I gave him my number. Mind you, at the time, I didn't have my phone, my roommate had it.
When me and the phone were reunited, I saw that he had called me like four tons and sent me tons of texts. This weirded me out, seeing that I had just met him.
The next day, endless back to back calls. Endless texts. And when I stopped answering his texts, he started sending me pictures of himself. Him with his friends. Him at work. Him topless. I'm like, Yikes!
So this morning, he calls me at like 8 am and I am like, "Dude, it's 8 am!"
He is like, "What? The kids are awake."
And I'm like, "I don't have kids, talk to you later."
This was followed by at least three more calls and a bundle of texts, one asking if we could meet up when he gets back to Atlanta and another telling me he has a Christmas gift for me. Sigh. I have been riding public transit since I was a child, and I still haven't learned not to give my number to strangers.

UnAppreciated

2011-12-25T04:57:00.000-08:00

The theme of this month for me has been unappreciation.
Do any of us ever really feel appreciated at our jobs? I mean, even when we work for ourselves?
This is the question I am battling with. I feel that in a couple of weeks, I will have an answer.

HOTMUSIC

2011-12-24T06:04:00.000-08:00

Is Duke Ellington moon walking, lol? Gave me chills, I love it!

My 27th Birthday

2011-12-24T05:33:00.000-08:00

So, at about midnight on Friday, I woke up to go pee and was greeted by a chocolate on my dresser that my roommate Audra made for me. We ate some of it in the kitchen, then I went back to bed.
I woke up the next morning, and Audra offered to take me to The Waffle House for breakfast. On the bus ride there I was informed that because it was my birthday, I could get into the aquarium for free!
After breakfast, we split ways. I had to go meet with my PR client and she had to go to her job's Christmas lunch. I wasn't on the train two seconds before I realized my phone was gone. Sigh.
The next hour was a frenzy of negativity, crying, and panic. I can not afford another phone. So I get to my PR client's. Audra has texted her. She has it. I am relieved.
From there I went to the aquarium but I was in some sort of a daze or something. I should not have gone. The aquarium is a family place, and I was the only one walking around alone. I felt stupid, but I did enjoy the penguins, seals, and the little Africa section. Cool stuff.
My walk to the train station from the aquarium was a nightmare. I thought I was going to cry. The Christmas music was making me sad, the kids playing around were making me sick, and the whole joyous theme of Centennial Park was making me depressed.
Finally make it to the train station and a random man gave me $20 on the bus.
Bought some juice, came home, drank with vodka, went to sleep until Audra brought me some dinner.
Birthday over. I say it went well seeing that originally, I wanted to cancel it. Another year under my belt. Really excited about making it count, just glad the day is over.

20Pause

2011-12-24T05:05:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have been really concerned about my mental well-being. Really. Concerned.
My last period was an emotional disaster. I can't even explain how lost and alone I felt and the types of things I was thinking. I tried to talk to Lauren about it, but I honestly couldn't put into words how shitty I was feeling. And then I was like, shocked, because it came out of nowhere.
Then, yesterday, on my bday, while I was walking, I was OVERWHELMED by negative thoughts. I mean overwhelmed to the point where it was paralyzing and hard to breath. I was just eager to get home and cry!
So, I talked to Jamaica about it, and how I think I should try to go and get put on meds because the thoughts were so scary and overpowering, and she told me that she had experienced the same thing and nearly had a break down in one of her government certification classes.
"You don't need medication," she assured me on Thursday. "I have been going through this for a year, I told my dad about it and he's a doctor and he said it's fine. We are all going through it."
But after the birthday breakdown, I was not convinced, and I talked to her again on Friday. She said, "It's horrible, but I'm telling you, you don't need meds. All the girls our age are going through it, it's like menopause for women in their 20s before they hit thirty, I promise."
I have coined this 20Pause.
And if Jamaica is infacto correcto, I feel like I have to be having the most worstest horrifiyingest 20Pause on the books! Yesterday, I thought that I was going to have a panic attack! I mean guys, it was scary, and if this is so common, how come this is the first time I am hearing about this? Yesterday my swing was so bad, I wanted to change my ringtone from "I Love Your Smile" to "Black Hole Sun"! I think I will have to research this, I will let you know what is up for the potential 20Pausers out there.

The Dia Logic

2011-12-24T04:56:00.000-08:00

So, I have a girlfriend named Dia who has been single for a long time. And I don't even have the blog space to tell you about ALL of the losers she talked to before she found her current beau. He is literally an answered prayer. She prayed and prayed for a Christian man that would love her an respect her and all that jazz. So, she found one. The issue is that he is a bit inexperienced and can't pick up on body ques on when to kiss her and touch her and all of that good stuff.
I suggested that she just teach him what to do and all will be well. I haven't had a lot of boyfriends, but even I know that men are idiots and you have to teach them everything. She doesn't want to because she feels like he should know and, because she feels like if she teaches him how to be a better boyfriend, if they breakup, he will go out and be a better boyfriend to the next girl.
I couldn't believe my ears! She was pretty much telling me she was willing to be unhappy so that he could be a sucky bf to the next girl in the event that they broke up. Who thinks like that?!

Rihanna - You Da One

2011-12-24T04:34:00.000-08:00

This is a cute song. Try to count how many times ReeRee grabs on her
vagine-gine. I counted 6 times.

2011-12-20T20:56:00.001-08:00

If I only think about him when it is late at night, I probably need to start going to bed at 6pm.

Beyoncé - 1+1

2011-12-11T19:30:00.000-08:00

Very pretty song and video.

2011-12-11T14:20:00.001-08:00

There are two things you don't do: you don't use the restroom at a bus station and you don't listen to Adele when you are lonely. Neither are good ideas...I'm just sayin'...

My Thanksgiving in Pictures

2011-11-30T06:17:00.001-08:00

So Cassandra invited me her house in New Orleans for Thanksgiving. It was fun, here are some pics!
Me and Cass (my hair is nuts, lol!)

Cass's Dad made gumbo

Cass made shrimp and grits, yum!

Ethan and Gia Tortilla at Harrah's Casino.

Cassandra and TT infront of the big tree at the mall.

TT and the Baby

Cassandra's baby Hannah!

Egyptian Train Boy

2011-11-30T05:58:00.000-08:00

So I met this boy on the train going to New Orleans and I think I may have ended it by overtexting him. I texted him twice in our conversation after he stopped responding. So technically, that isn't overtexting. But I was recently informed that you only text after the guy texts you first, no initiating. Clearly, I am new to this.
Anywho, he approached me at the Amtrak station. Said he liked my eyes and I have hair like a queen. I know, I'm a sucker for BAD game, but he seemed nice. He gave me his number. He was in New Orleans at the same time as me. Asked where I was, I said The W, then he fell off the grid. So I texted him to see how his vaykay was, no response. I don't know what I did already, but I'm annoyed. He was cute! Oh well, on to the next disaster.

Nightmare

2011-11-30T05:47:00.000-08:00

So last night I had a dream that my mom and her boyfriend Al were lying in bed in a colorful room and I brought them my new baby to see. Clarification: this was a dream baby not a real baby. Any way, I bring him in and Al picks the baby up by the neck and starts spinning him around! I start screaming while my mom laughs. I am not sure I want to know what this means, but I woke up pissed.

Hey God, What's Up?

2011-11-19T04:39:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning, rolled over, logged into Youtube, and listed to "I Need More" by Shakina Glory. I missed God. I have been missing God for a while. I kind of was hiding from him because I was embarrassed about Dreads. Today I decided not to let Dreads take God from me. I have felt like hella lonely because of it, and it has been two months now already. All and all, I didn't like the feeling of being Godless. Let this be my reminder that I need to behave.

2011-11-17T18:44:00.001-08:00

I love her clothes and I love her hair, still unimpressed by J. Cole.

Me and PR

2011-11-16T22:06:00.000-08:00

So last Thursday marked the event of my first PR Client that I put together. We had amazing sponsorships, and a lot of people came. I was so excited it all went well. Lauren said I pretty much don't believe and that it was going to go well all along. And it did. I am excited for me for pulling it off, excited for my client, and excited about the possibilites this opens for me:)

It's 2 in the Morning

2011-11-15T23:00:00.000-08:00

It is 2am and I am on deadline, trying to work while my roommate LOUDLY has sex in her room. I am just praying that I get my stories done, and that God delivers me from the bull shit.

Fasting

2011-11-05T10:23:00.001-07:00

I feel like my life has been going a mile a minute lately; like I don't have time for anything. I am hella tired. My eyes have just been rolling, lol. So I decided I would fast this weekend on liquids to just get everything out of my system and start over fresh. Too bad I woke up and had ice cream for breakfast:(

Texts Go Bye-Bye

2011-11-05T09:50:00.001-07:00

The other night I was texting Lauren, and my phone alerted me I ran out of space. So, I went to erase one message and erased them all. I wasn't mad until I realized I also erased my texts from Dreads! I know, I know. I said I got rid of his number. And technically, I did. It was no longer saved in my phone. But it did show when I looked at the texts. DON'T JUDGE ME...I'm a girl.
Needless to say, I had a baby panic attack. I actually cried. So, with nothing else I could do, I went to sleep.
OK, so it has been like two months since my thing with Dreads, and I only knew him for like less than a week, but I liked him a lot. And after he ditched me, the only thing I had left of him was his texts. I didn't even know him long enough to get a phone pic! And in my defense, the texts were REALLY sweet, and they reminded me that, once upon a time, a guy like me. Even if maybe he didn't.
Sigh.
The point of the story- the texts are gone. His number is gone...for real this time. I literally have no choice but to move on.

Chinese!

2011-11-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you know this about me, but I absolutely LOVE Chinese food! However, after a disgruntled worker set the Family Dollar on fire last year (I wish I was kidding) the Chinese food restaurant next to it closed down. Jade Garden was the Chinese food restaurant of my childhood. When it closed, I won't lie, I cried.
Now, my second favorite Chinese Food Restaurant, Hans 1, opened up a sister restaurant, Hans 2, in an old Church's Chicken Restaurant down the street. I was scared to go there this past year because I remember when that Church's was open, and it smelled like OLD GREASE!
But the other day, my tooth for Chinese was unbearable. So, I went to Hans 2 and had the best egg foo young EVER! I think I am way more excited about this than I should be. But hey, I'm a nerd.

2011-11-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

They Sunday before last I went to church with my friend Leslie. She was my only friend pretty much when I was at U of M during Katrina for a semester. She now lives in Atlanta and we went out to the Cheesecake Bistro. Doesn't that cake look amazing!

Goapele - Play (Official Music Video)

2011-10-30T04:34:00.000-07:00

Love this song. Love this video. Love Goapele. The End.

Facebook Boy

2011-10-28T00:42:00.001-07:00

So last month at around this time this boy sent me a Facebook message saying he thought I was pretty and to hit him up. Problem is, I was crying over Dreads at about this time and didn't check my inbox.
He is cute. I fear he is shorter than me, but he is brown with dreads, you know, my type!
Well, seeing that the message was a month old, I responded immediately, but no response. With my luck, within that month, he has gotten married.

Baby Hair

2011-10-24T15:55:00.000-07:00

I was on the train today and saw a mother with her two daughters. All of them were young. The mother looked about 22, the daughter that could walk was about 4, and the youngest one was in a stroller.
Stroller Baby was the one that got my attention. She was an adorable bambina, but she looked VERY uncomfy and angry. I am guessing it was because her mom had stretched the cenimeter of hair on her head into a very tight, oily, microscopic braid. Her hair was pulled so tight that her poor little baby eyes were slanted up to her temples! I could hear her hair snapping at the roots!
I tried to get a picture, but I couldn't get close enough without looking creepy. Just pray that this young mother doesn't rape the child of the little bit of hair she has with her brain pressing hairstyles.

Nipped in the Bud

2011-10-24T15:46:00.000-07:00

As I shared with you all recently, I met a guy (nicked Ice Tray) at the UPS Store and really liked him. So, I decided to call him at his job and ask him out on a date.
He said no.
Because he is married.
I am proud of myself for asking, but I am a bit concerned. I really, really hope that I have not developed a sweet tooth for married guys. True enough, I didn't know Ice Tray had a wife, and he didn't seem at all like Dreads. I just hope that I don't see this characteristic in guys and pounce on it, because I can't take Dreads situations for the rest of my life.
He had offered to make me this drink he makes, called "Drink for the house" and I was going to go pick it up last Wednesday. But I decided against it. What's the point of getting myself all familiar when he has a wife. Aren't you proud of me?

Rihanna - We Found Love (Official Video) ft. Calvin Harris

2011-10-21T04:43:00.000-07:00

I just LOVE this video!

Holla Back Jimmy

2011-10-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

So, I found out this week that Jimmy is dead.
My new roommate Audra said that she saw a smashed cat in the street that matched his height and color and such.
I figured something was up. I had not seen him in weeks! He had not been sniffing around or anything. I was scared to mention it though, out of fear he would come back. I thought that maybe Connie might have sent him away to the kitty hospital to finally get fixed and get his shots.
But that wasn't the case. It is reported that Jimmy was recently seen as road kill.
The good news: no more random bites. The bad news: Audra said Connie said she wants another cat. Eyeroll. I am a true believer that the only good pets one could have would live in a bowl.

2011-10-16T17:39:00.002-07:00

I got to work with Bedlam Accessories recently. Look at the CRAZY cool glasses they let me have! Now, if I can only find something, anything to wear them with.

2011-10-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you know this about me, but I am hella afraid of diseases: specifically Herpes and HIV/AIDS. And this fear is crippling. I can't tell you just how crippling it is, because I don't want you to think I am crazy. But let's just say contracting these things is on my Top 5 Fears List.

I say that to say this: If I would have known that the event I went to the other night was at a gallary that was currently showing AIDS art from around the world, I probably would not have gone. However, the pieces were gripping. If the point was to inform...and scare...it totally did so.

Love Thy Self

2011-10-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

So while I was in LA, I got the chance to meet with my friend LL, and we spoke at the hotel bar about how we don't have, and don't know any women that do have, high self esteem. After a brief comparison of stories, we have found that at one point we did have some, but it was sucked from us by a boy.
Confidence. Self Esteem. I can't say that I have much. I hope that it is something that you kid of ease into with age. Maybe ten years from now, I will be the queen of self love. But I can't see that for myself now I have found that the key for ladies my age, from what I have seen, is faking it until you make it: pretending you are the shit to get through the day and get what you need, and then going home and crying because your real hair is shoot or your boobs are saggy.
I know it sounds sounds sad, but for me, it sounds sadder than it really is. It is just the way it is, at least through my eyes. I just hope to get to a point where I don't need male reassurance and don't care that my but is flat.

2011-10-16T13:51:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if any of you are going to be as excited as I am, but I just found out that Absolutely Fabulous, one of my fav British comedies, is on Youtube! I damn near cried last night, going through all the episodes. I love this show! I love the fashion and the jokes and the drugs and alcohol and everything about it! It used to come on Comedy Central when I was a kid, and I had not seen it since. So excited! I know, I'm a nerd.

Wifey Siting...Maybe

2011-10-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

So Friday, when I was coming home from an event, I nearly screamed. I swear that I saw Mrs. Dreads waiting on the train.
My heart was racing, I had to take a deep breath. I couldn't be sure if it was her, for I haven't Facebook stalked her in a while. I just know that she and this lady had similar features.
It felt like this woman was avoiding me, but when you are waiting on the train, it is customary not to make eye contact with people.
It may not have been her because Dreads had a car, so I assume she has one too. Also, they live in Stone Mountain. I am not sure if the train goes all the way out there. And, she has eight kids and there were no kids with this lady. I can't imagine a woman with that many kids being able to go anywhere without one of them.
Whether it was her or not, it was still scary. Man, I hope to never put myself in this situation ever again. It's too much.

2011-10-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

OK, so this week, I went to the opening of Derek J's ATL salon, The J Spot. You may know him The Real Housewives of Atlanta, where he did Kim's wigs. He's really nice and really, really, chic. You may also know him from his trademark heels.
I also got to meet Chanita Foster from Football Wives. The picture is bad, lol, I know. I took it on my phone.

Ice Tray

2011-10-16T12:46:00.001-07:00

OK, so when I got back from LA I had hella packages that I had to mail back to Los Angeles. Why? Long, complicated story.
So I go to the UPS store and was greeted by the two dudes on staff. I don't know their names as of yet, but I have nicknamed Clean Cut and Ice Tray.
I had sooo much stuff to mail off that I was in there for over an hour. It was really a stressful mess. But they were like hella cool and really funny.
So OK, I kind of like Ice Tray. He's cute. He looks like he should have been in NWA.
I saw him on the bus the other day with his two kids. Ouch! I don't know how old they were, but they were old enough to read. The boy had a book. And the girl was old enough to talk.
I am not sure if kids are a no dealer. And I don't know if he is still with the children's mother. First things first- I want to ask him to go to the movies with me. I called the store yesterday and asked for "the guy in the hat", but he was off. I will call again today. Fingers crossed that I don't get rejected.

2011-10-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

So, while I was in LA, my editor INSISTED that we go to this place called Tarte. I wasn't really excited about it...until I saw that they serve grits! And not just any grits- grits with bell peppers and bacon in them. YUMMY!

LA Swinging

2011-10-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

I am so sorry that I have been neglectful guys. I have been spending the past few weeks putting together a photo shoot in LA for my job. And can I say, it went WONDERFULLY! I am a genius:)Other than working, I got to see my some of my LA homies like Dorothy, Lauren, and LL. I also spent a large amount of time in the rental car with my editor lost in downtown.
Other than that, LA was just as I remembered it: warm, fashionable, and ridiculous. Everyone was super thin and super superficial. As a fat, down-to-Earth girl, I have to say, I was shocked, as always, at how at home I felt in there. Being surrounded by palm trees and the scent of Marijuana seemed to be the pick-me-up I needed:)

7 Up Strikes Again

2011-09-25T06:54:00.001-07:00

So this morning I get a phone call at the crack of dawn form a withheld number from a man claiming to want to know if I will allow him to, "Beat that *&%ssy up?"
I hang up, and he calls back again. I don't answer.
I am about 95% sure that this is 7 Up, the loser soda truck driver that sent me a wiener pic.
The other day, a guy calls me and tells me he wants to take me out, but I didn't know who he is. I asked if he was 7 Up, but he said no. I doubt it, because I don't give my number out like that.
I don't want to change my 504 number, because it is my last little connection to New Orleans, but I may have to think about it if he keeps calling me early in the morning. This is like the 4th time this has happened. I will keep you posted.

Tyler the Creator & Lykke Li -- "I Follow You" (Tyler, The Creator Remix)

2011-09-22T15:39:00.000-07:00

Again, I love Tyler.

Be Happy With A Frown

2011-09-21T17:06:00.001-07:00

So, I am talking to a friend of mine who wants me to feel better. So she is pretty much telling me how she is making herself better to prepare herself for the man God has for her.
I am just listening silently.
I don't have the heart to tell her that God has no one for me because I am officially an adulterer because I didn't respect someone's union.
I know that she loves me and wants me to be well, but at this moment in time, I want to scream in her ear.
Her answer to my mood is to pray. I have this thing where I don't pray when I know I was in the wrong because that is just whack and I don't feel that God appreciates that. It's shifty.
She is telling me to cheer up and honestly, today was a good day, but for the most part, I just want to inhale junk food and watch SVU on Netflix. I think that that is going to be the key to my healing, not getting my eyebrows plucked so I feel better about me.

New Roomie

2011-09-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

So, the other day Connie announces that she has found another roommate. It's a girl she works with. I forgot her name just that quick, but she seems like she is going to be nice.
However, just now, she goes on a baby rant about how she wanted a male roommate, which is funny, because she admitted herself that the last dude she tried to get in here didn't want to pay rent.
I politely explained that I have no desire to live with a man before I am hitched, and that she can just let me know when she wants to move a dude in here, at any time, and I can bounce. It is something that I have no desire to even want to try.
Of course, Connie, being the understanding person she is, said that my desire not to live with a man is a personal issue that I "need to get over." This made me smile. Her over desire to want to live with a man sounds like a problem to me. Why are you eager to have a man share your space? That makes my eyebrow raise, but then again, I have "personal issues."
Funny how you can be so different from a person. I am just happy that the newby has a vagina. I didn't like picking up after my brothers when I was a kid, and I wouldn't like cleaning up after a grown man now.

Phone Call Number 2

2011-09-16T18:53:00.000-07:00

So yesterday guess who gave me a ring-ding: Mrs. Dreads!
Just as I have made my healing list and feel like I can breath, she decided to hit me up. Sigh.
She called me because I called Dreads. I mean, this lady is on it. Readers, my convo with Mrs. Dreads.
Me: Hello?
MD: Hello, may I speak with Holly please?
Me: This is she. Who's speaking?
MD: Hi, this is MD, Dread's wife.
Me: Oh...hi.
MD: Yes, I'm calling you because Dreads said you keep calling him, so I wanted to call you and see what's up. What, do you need closure or something?
Me: Yeah, that's what I thought I needed. But I'm good now. I erased his number, you don't have to worry about me.
MD: You're good now? Sure? Because I have known this man since he was 16. He does this every now and again. He finds these women. He tells them things. But he never leaves me.
Me: I didn't want him to leave you.
MD: Yeah? Well-
Me: Are you going to come beat me up?
MD: No. I'm a mother. Just because he wants to be a big dummy sometimes doesn't mean I have to be.
Me: Oh. OK.
MD: Well...have a good life! (Dial Tone)
Well, that was that. Dreads snitched on me so she called me. I was respectful, but something about her cool tone made me want to hella start talking shit on a Maury Povich level. This whole thing has made me the type of woman I DON'T want to be. On another note, I kind of like this lady. She's classy. I kind of want to be her friend; although, I doubt that that will happen because of the circumstances. She was in and out of my nightmares last night. I saved the number she called me from. Don't ask me why. I have problems and detachment issues. Don't judge me. Other than that, as far as this situation goes, I guess this is the official end.

Healing

2011-09-16T05:33:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up annoyed and ready to sneeze dreads out of my life. So, I made a playlist to start healing.

2011-09-15T15:34:00.001-07:00

Feeling sorry for myself. Eating candy. Sighing. Hmmmmm...sigh....

Death To Dreads

2011-09-15T09:16:00.001-07:00

The only reason I had been able to not call Dreads is because my friends have been serial calling me to make sure that I didn't. I had also been trying hard to keep myself busy.
Well, today I had like five minutes of idol time and wanted to talk to him.
Knowing that this was a bad idea I called two of my friends, neither one of them answering.
So, after staring at my phone blankly, I called him. Ladies and gentlemen, my 20 second conversation with Dreads:
Dreads: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Dreads: Oh no no no no no no no no no no no. Be cool...and have a nice day.
Me: OK...bye.
OUCH, right? Well, at least one of us has a moral compass.
However, I got off the phone feeling oddly relieved. My desire to hear his voice was satisfied, and for a split second, I was happy. Then I was sad. Then I erased his number.
I shall wash his stage name off of my mirror. Not sure I am ready to part with the texts though.
It's official again readers. I am announcing for the uptenth time that I am done with men. I think I will go home tonight, maybe I will cry, catch some Law and Order SVU on Netflix, and take Dreads' advice and be cool.

Sorta Beau...Oh Brother

2011-09-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

So right after the devastation of Dreads, here comes Sorta.
Sigh.
It isn't that I don't want to talk to him, I just don't have the energy.
In the mental state I am in, I wouldn't be hurt if I never had to talk to a man romantically again.
But here comes Sorta, out of nowhere, just now, talking about how he misses me and wanted to start talking again.
Fantasia did an interview where she said she tried to hack herself because she was tired of men's bullshit. I hear that.
There was a time that I thought that Sorta was gonna be my man. I was really into him and really open and honest with him and he repaid me by having a baby with some club girl while talking to me! And even then, a stupid Holly was still willing to talk to him. And he repaid me by cutting me off and, within the past two years, dropping in and out of my life when he felt like it.
His side of the story: he had stuff to work out, didn't want to hurt me, blah, blah, blah.
I kind of believe him. I want to believe him. He said he wasn't asking anything of me. I wouldn't mind being his friend again and I did miss him. But right now, I am so frazzled from Dreads and work and life that I just want to crawl into a man-free whole at the end of the planet.
I told him I had to clear my head and I would call him back. I don't know. Wish I did.

Hell Week

2011-09-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to reach out to Dreads so bad that I want to scream!

I'm not even sure what I would say if I called him and he answered, but I would really like to hear his voice. I would really like to hang out with him.

So basically, I feel stupid because I practically fell for a man that I only knew for three days. I feel dumb because I was so taken by kind words, irregardless of the fact that he was hitched.

A few days ago was the worst day of all. I Googled his wife and saw that she is like this adorable amazing lady. I had never felt so sorry for myself like ever in life, and I have done some dumb shit in 26 years.

I think that I am getting better though. I can listen to my Youtube playlists again. But at night especially, I feel really, really lonely and pathetic. I would sleep all day if I didn't have so much work to do.

P says that it gets better after a month or so. I hope he is right.

The Season for Love

2011-09-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

The seasons are changing and everyone is on the love tip.
Typically, I like this time of year, but this time of around, I just want to hide under a rock.
Friends are planning for weddings. Friends are becoming couples. And everyone else is making that mad dash to find someone before the holidays.
Sigh.
I am not in the mood to hear about it or see it or smell it or care or whatever. I don't feel like working or having fun or anything. I just want to stay in my room and watch Roseanne on Netfix and overeat.
Double Sigh.

TLC - Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg

2011-09-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

No Cookouts

2011-09-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but there was a small light at the end of the tunnel: tomorrow. I'm not sure what holiday it is, but it is one where the Post Office is closed and people cook out.
Well, apparently it is supposed to rain tomorrow, so NO ONE is cooking out. They all cooked out today. Tomorrow was going to be my big escape from my self-inflicted confinement! I was going to wear a summer dress and everything! My friend's mom feels sorry for me and may bring me a plate. Let's hope that goes through. Otherwise, it will just be another Netflix day.

How To Unsuccessfully Get Over A Dude You Knew For Three Days In Three Days

2011-09-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

A week ago today I was rocking to The Pharcyde with Dreads the Man, so excited that I had met such a hottie, and three days later, his wife called me to call my little romance quits. Below are just a few pointers on how to unsuccessfully get over a dude, Holly style.

Dwell on anything that gives you a memory of him, (i.e. music, conversations)

Don't wash anything with his scent on it, even if what you are not washing is starting to make you itch (blankets, sheets, etc.)

Sleep with your phone on your face to make sure that you feel the vibration in the event that he calls and/or texts late at night.

Pray that he just drops by, even though that is HIGHLY unlikely

Feel stupid

Resort to some type of cyber stalking (monitoring Twitter updates)

Think of ways to reach out to him that will clearly reverse your healing when he doesn't reply (Facebook messages, Twitter direct messages, clapping pigeons to deliver messages)

These are just pointers mind you. They many not be as counterproductive for you as they are for me.

Jaco Pastorius "Portrait Of Tracy"

2011-09-03T01:03:00.000-07:00

I can not listen to this song without crying. Sigh.

Dreads-The Aftermath

2011-09-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

So, I am not at liberty to tell you the whole Dreads story because, as with every story I have concerning me and a man, it ended in heartbreak and humiliation. And you may be thinking, "How much heartbreak and humiliation can accumulate in less than a week?!" And to that fair question I would say, "You would be surprised."
On Sunday at a concert, I met the most amazing man with dreads. And it turns out, he was even more amazing than I thought originally. He liked Quentin Tarantino movies. He played every instrument in the band. He was 34 but felt like he was 17- his energy was that fresh. He got kicked out of the FamU band for hazing. His locks smelled really good. He was hella cute. Sigh. I could go on and on.
I guess all any of us need to know is that we are no longer talking. This guy was in and out of my life so fast ya'll I thought I dreamed him! If he hadn't written his name in the dust on my mirror, I would have really thought he was a fantasy. Three days we are taking here. That is a short period, even for me. However, I felt like I knew this dude for like three years, that is how kinetic our energy was.
I keep replaying the last time we hung out together in my mind like over and over and over again to the point where I dream about it. We goofed around and slow danced to Rain by SWV. He taught me that that beat was sampled Jac Pastorius's "Portrait of Tracy". It was a dream night for me, which officially ended with a phone call from his wife.
Siiiiiigggggghhhhhh!
I don't know if it is possible for me to be any more unlucky in love. All I know is that I miss him like CRAZY! I want to see him and talk to him, but that would be disrespectful and isn't going to happen. I can't even listen to my playlists on Youtube because I share them with him and now they remind me of him! I want to be like, "On to the next!" But I think I will be on this one for a minute.

The Return Of Taji

2011-08-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

So I am in my room, just chillin', when there is a bang on the door. I open it, and who is it but Taji and Connie.
"Am I dreaming?" I ask.
"Yes, it's a nightmare," he answered.
It's like he could read my mind!
The good thing: he went and got me some juice. The bad thing: I have to go to the bathroom and I can't because I can't potty with a man in the house. Sigh.

Dreads The Man

2011-08-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday I left my house to cover the OneMusicFest and returned smitten kitten for a new guy: Dreads The Man, Dreads for short.
I had the best spot in the place: I was right in front of the speakers...yessss! I got there right in the middle of The Cool Kids set (which was awesome) and I was having a blast. After their set, The Pharcyde came on, and this really hot dude with dread locks came and stood beside me.
We begin chatting here and there inbetween songs which was hard to do, seeing that we were on the speakers. All I know about him, pretty much, is that he has a really bright spirit and he is 34.
I had to leave my spot to go to the press area to see if Chrisette Michelle was doing interviews. As I waited on her, I could not stop thinking about this guy. So, stepping outside of myself for a sec, I march back over to the stage and ask him if he has a girlfriend.
He says that he does, but that he had been thinking about me since he left. He gave me his number.
After waiting an hour on Chrisette, I decide it's time for me to make my exit. I can't lie, I was looking around for him as I am leaving, and I don't see him.
So, I text him that it was nice to meet him, and he said it was nice to meet me too and that he was looking for me after the show. Sweet right.
OK, now, about this girl friend. Can you just be friends with a guy who has a girlfriend? Is that allowed? Not sure, I am hoping so. I plan on meeting up with him next week. Hopefully, I can make a new guy friend out of this.

Withheld

2011-08-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

The other night I got a call from a withheld number. I answer, and it sounds like another language. I hand up, even though it gave me the creeps.
The caller calls right back, and, after listening closely, I am able to make out the word "pussy" in the rambling. I hang up, realizing I am being obscenely called. Who do I believe the culprit is: 7 Up! Who else?
He calls again but I don't answer. Asshole. That is the last time I give my number out. All my friends get the number from the dudes now. I see why. You don't want a 7 Up situation.