#newauntyseason

I don't believe that I told you all this, but my sister had a baby. His name is Isaiah, and I watch him twice a week while my sister is at work during the day. He is two months. When he isn't asleep, he is crying, and he has to be fed every three hours, even if that third hour falls in the middle of the night.
Lately, he has been super needy. I think that he is getting sick. I have tried to put him on a sleep schedule. That has been an epic fail, seeing that everyone wants to play with him. Bath time has become dangerous. He tries to kick himself out of my arms as I am turning on the water. He is too young to be entertained by TV or music, so the only way you can soothe him is by rocking him in your arms. Of course, while you are doing that, you aren't getting anything done. I mean, you could shower while he is sleeping, but trust me, while he is sleeping, you would want to sleep too.
I love Isaiah, but I see now why the old folks say it takes a village to raise a child. If it takes a village to raise one, you need at least a small army to babysit. My army consists of my two brothers, who are all in with helping me with the baby until they rather do anything else like play a video game or space out. They hold him wrong and put his diaper on baggy.
I worked at a daycare, and I don't remember ever being this tired working with those kids. I guess it is different when the child isn't related to you and there are three certified teachers watching your back.
I get very irritated with my brothers for not being as supportive as I feel that they could be on babysitting days, but I am outright mad at those Instagram moms. Yes, the IG moms, pushing their strollers in yoga pants while drinking a tummy tea out of some type of a clear jug. Last night, Isaiah threw up down my nightshirt. Where is that picture?
Today is my last day of babysitting. If I type quietly while he is sleeping, I may be able to get in two more posts. #newauntyseason

Birchbox + babyGAP do limited edition box

Birchbox, known for its awesome beauty boxes, has now collaborated with babyGAP to create a great box for new mommies! Each box includes:  

• amika Nourishing Hair Mask 

• Not Soap, Radio Body Wash in Lavender 

• Suki Exfoliate Foaming Cleanser 

• W3LL People Bio Extreme Lip Gloss in Berry 

• Whish Three Wishes Body Butter Boxes 

• babyGap Personalitees Bodysuits 

The box will be available for purchase for $48.00 (a value of $108) on Birchbox.com, Gap.com, and in select babyGap stores. Customers can visit birchbox.com/babyGap for an exclusive subscription offer from Birchbox.

Baby Bound

It is no secret that I HATE children.
People, particularly my young girlfriends that are strapped down from each limb with babies give me the stink eye when I say this, seeing that they did not like kids either before they were cornered into having them. They are loud and irritating and stinky. Children are not my favorite people.
But lately, I find the urge to have one nearly unbearable.
When I was younger, I remember watching a talk show where a teenage girl testified that she wanted a baby because she wanted something to take care of. I remember laughing at her. How stupid, wanting something to take care when you haven't even graduated high school. But now, two weeks shy of 25, I totally see what she was saying.
From ages 5 to 11 I read stories about love and from 12 to now I have been looking for it. I have seen it in my friends' lives, I have seen it on TV, I have even thought I was in it. But either it wasn't real or wasn't right. The love between a mother and child is unconditional. If I had a baby, I would be the proud owner of unconditional love...even though I would still be living with my aunt and off of pennies.
Whenever I get in this mood where I really want a bambino, I have to step back and evaluate my emotions. Am I on my period? Have I been watching Lifetime? Is it tax time and I am looking for a deduction? Yet lately, it has been neither of these things. Although I do not have a man, my own job or a good paying job, I have to say, I am flirting with the idea...even though it may be a bad one.

The Sorta Situation

So right after I post my Craigslist ad who calls me? You guessed it! Sorta Beau.
Apparently, I wasn't dumped. He has been working overtime to build up his finances for the baby. Yes, the baby. How could I have forgotten about that adorable...sweet...blessing of a baby?
After talking to him for about an hour I could not believe that I had thought about talking to someone else. He's nice and he's sweet and he gets my off, at times morbid, humor, and I am comfortable with him. He is the worn, ran over Nike to my tattered gym sock.
So what is the problem?
The problem is what it always has been: he does not live here and is hesitant about doing a long distance thing. Plus, there is that whole baby mama black cloud that will not pass over. Realistically, it will never pass over, and I have to deal with that if I want this to work, especially since he has decided to be in the child's life ( like I would date a man who ditched his kid).
At first, I did not think that I would have anything against having a long distance thing, but I see that I must, because I did not hear from him for a week and was already searching for a new beau. It scares me to realize that I am that needy; that I am like every other woman in this way.
Yet still, I think that the real beef and potatoes of the situation is that I STILL do not have a title! We have been talking since February! I know that I am new to this whole dating scene, but is that not a long time to be just talking? I would feel more comfortable with him being so far away if I were his girlfriend, even though he has told me that he is not talking to anyone else. I feel that if I was his girlfriend instead of his friend or beau or whatever the hell I am in this garbage dump of a situation, he would have to be obligated to me; he would have to make efforts to come see me and call me more and stuff.
Now I know that this is fantasy language. I believe it is the great philosopher Lil Kim who has consistently reminded us that a man will do what he wants, no matter what you are to him. But I don't want to just be somebody's something, and that is what I feel like now. I mean, where is the growth?
Although the whole Craigslist situation has shown me that my affections lie with him, I feel like I can not stay on a ship that does not move. Should I tell him that if I do not get the big G name, I have to bounce? Just writing that makes me nervous, because I have seen women do that and it never works out in their favor. Plus, I don't really want to stop talking to him, but I do want more.
I never wanted to be anyone's second fiddle, but clearly I will be once his child is born. Plus, he is working three jobs to prepare. Would it not be bitchy of me to throw out the ultimatum when he has so much on his plate, or should I just stick by the wounded woman theory and keep my interest at heart first and foremost?
How confusing. I guess for now I just have to be content with the I miss you texts and late night phone calls.