Zoya Tobey Is Back!

Zoya Tobey is this amazing, vibrant pink that is only here for a limited time! Use the code Tobey to get her free with any purchase at Zoya.com and hurrey! She will be leaving at the end of the month and won't be back until next summer. 

 

The Divorce

Izzy is getting a divorce. Well, not officially, but she is well on her way. She has moved with her kids across the country and is now looking for a lawyer. She is over it and beyond stressed. She calls me for support and sometimes I have no idea what to say. Everything I know about divorce I learned from Lifetime Movies! 

Yet Sally Fields and Tori Spelling are nowhere to be found in this drama which includes entanglements of the Jada Pinkett Smith variety, calling the police, email snooping, text spying, fighting, car keys hiding, sleep deprivation, credit card canceling, and a Kantana sword. This is real life, and I have never been good at that. 

This is so weird for me, because I remember when Izzy and her husband were happy and very into each other. They could not go out in public without passionate French kissing and butt slapping. Now he has changed his number and she has crossed about 20 states to get away from him. 

I was reading in The Bible just last weekend that Jesus is not down with divorce. Like, really not down with it. But I can't imagine He would be down with Izzy and her husband bringing their kids up in a situation that was becoming more and more loco by the day. 

I want my friend to be happy. Life is too short to be miserable. But it is still unbelieve to me how two people can be so in love one minute and resent each other the next. At the end of the day, a lot of money will be spent for funds, custody, and properties to be split, then for each person to go their separate ways and act like they never met. It almost makes you wonder if it is worth the risk. 

Izzy thinks so. She is already looking forward to finding a new forever love, one that is forever for real, minus the lies and calls to 9-1-1/.

Queen Communication

I graduated from college with a degree in Communications which I can't even believe, knowing  how poor my communication skills were back then. There were so many spats that I got into with my friends that were made worse due to my inability to communicate like an adult. That was then. Today, at 35, I'm just now learning how to talk to folks and how to put these new skills into action. I can't take all the credit. God revealed to me not too long ago that I was becoming nearly impossible to talk to and that I am a bad listener. Luckily, Corona has given me a seemingly endless amount of time to work on this. Now I am trying to spread the good news of good communication to my friends. It's been interesting. 

My girl Izzy is talking to a new guy. Everyday she calls me, upset over the communication in this budding relationship. He doesn't text her as much as she would like, and she feels like she is putting in most of the communication effort. 

"Why won't he text me?!" she demanded, beside herself. 

"Did you make your need know that you would like to be texted everyday?" I asked her. 

"NO! If he likes me, he should want to text me."

Sigh. Getting woke on how bad of a communicator I am has helped me to shed some annoying habits. Ladies, we are in 2020. Can we finally flush the Three Day Rule and the "He-Has-To-Call-Me-First rule that someone told us were the rules of engagement back when we were in the 7th grade? Me and many of my homegirls are nearly 40, and we are still operating under the dating communication rules from middle school! It's exhausting and as your friend let me tell you, it is also hard to watch. Stop making expectations without making your needs known! And if you like someone and want to talk to them, do so. I swear, you will feel better. 

In the name of good communication, can we also stop friend-dumping folks without letting them know what they did? Enough! Fear of communicating and having hard conversations is giving us the green light to dispose of folks that we are annoyed with but really care about. There is a chance that your friend doesn't know that they hurt you because YOU DIDN'T COMMUNICATE THAT TO THEM. 

Whew! Being the new self-proclaimed Queen of Communication, it is hard out here spreading the word. But for those of you who will receive it I tell you, communicating better can be scary, but it is also a life saver. Give it a try! Just don't be about it, talk about it. 

Aggressive Rats and the Single Girl

I heard somewhere that the Coronavirus has brought about a new species of aggressive rats. That's right! Just when we thought that things couldn't get any worse. And we are not talking Master Splinter here folks! Apparently, cities being on lockdown and a decrease of people being out and about. has contributed to a downturn in the amount of food and trash being left about. Because of this, rats do not have their usual surplus of food to get into, making them pissed off, hungry, and aggressive with each other. Some of these rats have gone as far as to become cannibalistic, nibbling on their fellow rat brotheran for the nourishment needed to survive. 

I thought that this was sad until my friend Tony told me that he was approached by a coworker to start an affair with her. You see, she knows that he is married, but still wants to get busy. She attempted to lure him into an entanglement by sharing with him her love of oral sex and the...logistics of her vagina. He turned her down, but she wasn't happy about it. Who knew that this type of crazy was happening between America's 9-1-1 operators? It seems as though closed businesses have made it almost impossible to go out on dates, and the Coronavirus in itself has made it unwise to be physical with anyone, even on the most harmless of levels. Tony said that his coworker was hella brazen and assertive. I guess the pandemic has now also turned some single women into aggressive rats. 

I assumed that a deadly virus being on the loose would somehow naturally decrease a woman's desire to get a man. I mean, giving a man a hug could end in you being put on a ventilator. But boy was I wrong! Apparently, at least in my friend group, this has cranked women's desire to get a man up a 100%. So many of my friends are joining apps and trying to get some meetups in before the cities go back to complete lockdown. Unlike with the rats, I hope that my friends don't start eating each other to thin out the competition. Tortilla said it best: People are dying of Covid-19. It makes you realize how important it is to be with someone. So true. No ifs, ands, or rats about it.