Small Love

At the beginning of the month, I had a doctor's appointment and ordered a rideshare to take me home. The driver was this sweet African man that didn't flip out because I was drinking cocoa out of a cup with no lid. Upon talking to him, I learned that he was 30, had just come to America two years ago, and was the youngest of a whole bunch of siblings. I asked him if he was having fun on the Atlanta dating scene and of course, I asked this sarcastically, and he said no. He said he met women but they weren't interested in him because he is 5'3. 

Here we go again. My heart went out to him. Being a short man is like the female version of being fat. People discredit you as a potential partner on sight. I have shared that, as I have gotten older, I realize how trivial it is to cancel out opportunities with men based on appearances. Sadly, I don't think that many of my friends, who are free-falling towards 40 just like me, are moving towards accepting men's differences like I am. Many of them want the 6'4 chocolate man they have wanted since they first saw Tyrese in that Coca-Cola commercial. But every man is not Tyrese just like every woman is not Beyonce. Honestly, I don't care how tall a man is anymore as long as he is nice to me and has a job. 

Loneliness is real, especially during the holidays. And again, my heart went out to this cute but small young man with long, pretty eyelashes. I kind of wanted to ask him out myself. 

But I didn't. Not that I'm not open to little love, but I didn't get vibes that he was interested. I'm done chasing after guys that don't want me. I wouldn't mind seeing him again though. He was funny. Perhaps he will be next rideshare driver. Who knows? It's a small world. 

35

I just turned 35 on Monday, yay!
When I was in my early 20s, I used to throw these crazy parties and dinners for my birthdays. I would  spend all year saving my money and going over guest lists, visiting venues, and planning menus. I just couldn't wait to have a shindig where I could dance, laugh, and get presents. Those days are so far behind me, because when I tell you that I chilled on my birthday, I want you to believe it!
Early in the year, I wanted to throw myself a 1990s themed party with old school music and ring pops. Then I wanted to have a general Christmas celebration. I even thought of redoing the EPIC lingerie soiree that I threw when I turned 25. By Halloween, I knew that none of these things were going to happen. I just felt sad for being old and wanted to sit down somewhere.
The sadness lifted about four days before my birthday. I didn't want to turnup, but I did want to hang out with friends. By this point, most of my friends where making plans to leave town for the holidays. Luckily, I called Tasia up who was able to come scoop me up over the weekend. She got me a cake. Her fiance made me a turkey burger, and we watched The Best Man Holiday. It was perfect day!
The day of my birthday, I wrapped myself in a blanket and slept on and off throughout the day. I contemplated going to the aquarium, for it is free to go on your birthday, but it was cold and rainy out. Instead, I opted to take some amazing naps. My brother got me some seafood pasta for lunch, my aunt bought me a cake and ice cream, and my mentor got me a Target gift card that I used to get myself a much-needed new purse. I had salmon for dinner and ended the night watching reruns of Amen of Youtube, showered in social media love and bday tests from my friends. Yes, my 35 birthday was perfect.