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Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Scrooge Mc30Something

Don't nobody bring me no good news or bad news, I don't want to hear it.
I'm over 30, I'm broke, I'm lonely, and whatever you want to tell me, I don't want to hear it, because I am sure that it is going to piss me off!
I have a friend in her 20s. That was my first mistake. The other day, I listened to her optimistically talk about her life plans, which, you all should know by now, is very hard for me. Especially now that I know that life plans are a crock. Life has its own plans for you sweetheart, and if you are lucky, if the Gods shine their all-powerful light on your butt, their plans for you will include food and shelter. This is if you are lucky now. Ten minutes into the conversation I began to fantasize about clawing out her eyes. And not to hurt her. I honestly feel that extreme acts of violence are the only ways that these youngins are going to get it: life sucks.
Right now my face is contorted into a semi-permanent frown. The side of my right foot is tight. On the low end, my arch is falling or some other muscle in my foot is about to snap from habitually wearing cheap, unsupportive shoes. On the high end, I have diabetic foot pain and am about two months away from carrying my foot around in my purse. My throat is sore. On the low end, I have a cold. On the high end, I will soon have to have my vocal cords removed. Either way, I will have to be cool with it. The constant, nightmare-inducing stress of being over 30 has left me feeling strangely calm. A quick internet search has informed me that I am probably in shock. Can you believe it? The over 30 life has put me in shock!
On top of this, people keep asking me what I am going to do with my life, as if the very question isn't insulting, irritating, and pushing me to the edge. Apparently, it has become clear to those that love me that I am not moving at a pace they deem acceptable to achieve success. I would have to agree. The fatigue of applying to jobs I don't want makes me so sleepy that I often fall into comatic naps while searching LinkedIn for new employ.
And I just want to let all my social media friends know something. When I like your pics, I am liking them so that you know that I have seen them. If I had an option, I would dislike your engagement photos, sonograms, new home pics, and selfies. What can I say, I'm a Scrooge. Scrooge Mc30Something. You can also call me a hater. I will answer to either.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Financially Fatigued

Hello readers.
I write to you tonight as I hide under my comforter with my phone on silent. I am dodging a creditor.
My whole blogging career, I have been pretty open about my brokey brokeness, just so the young brokies, that should really be reading a Suze Orman book, would understand the struggle. The struggle that is, in fact, real. But, to be honest, the only thing the struggle is at this moment in time is real old.
My philosophy over the years has been honesty with creditors. They call, I answer, and we discuss payment options and dates and income and all the uncomfortable things that come with a creditor call. But it seems that after my last call with a creditor, which was no different than others, I became unable to take another one. I physically can not even force myself to reach for the phone and answer them. After a few missed calls and messages, I realized that it all came down to one thing: I just don't have the energy or the wherewithal to tell yet another creditor that I don't have money. I can't fix my mouth to do it. Seriously. I tried to do it yesterday and just ended up screaming.
At this point, I can't even believe that the creditors believe me when I tell them I'm penniless. Who stays broke for five years that doesn't have a serious problem? Now that I think about it, I guess you could consider my general attitude and terminal sadness a serious problem.
The unfortunate thing is that I know how this story ends. If I don't get it together and return these calls fast, my already struggling credit score will become jeopardized, which means I will not only have to dodge calls but also my Credit Carma alerts. Yes, my score will just go down and down and down until I will have nothing to look forward to but pre-paid phones and the roommate life over 40. Both things are enough to cause me to act urgently.
But tonight, I hide. If you want to reach me, send me a telegraph. I'm not taking calls, understandably.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Create the Look: Letitia Wright x bareMinerals at The Emmy's

The Look:

Inspiration: Letitia's gorgeous gown featured great shine and texture which immediately inspired Celebrity Makeup Artist Tasha Brown to give Letitia peachy and bronze tones to keep her looking ethereal to match her dress. Tasha added soft, arched brows and golden eyeshadow with a natural skin finish, added glowing shimmery highlights on the cheekbones and eyelids.

How to Get the Look:

Skin
Tasha prepped Letitia’s skin by saturating her cleansed face with bareMinerals Complexion Rescue Defense to create a smooth moisturized canvas for makeup. She then applied bareMinerals Original Loose Powder Foundation with SPF 15 in shade Golden Dark with the bareMinerals Beautiful Finish Foundation Brush in a tapping motion through the center of Letitia’s face for light coverage, creating an even base for the rest of her makeup.

Cheeks
Tasha used a sheer layer of bareMinerals BarePRO Glow Highlighter in Fierce to highlight the tops of Letitia’s cheekbones, center of nose and chin for a bit of glow and dimension. To add a healthy flush of color, Tasha lightly dusted bareMinerals’s Gen Nude Powder Blush in That Peach Tho along the hairline, on temples and on cheeks with a large fluffy brush. 

Eyes
Tasha applied the deep bronze tones of the bareMinerals Gen Nude Eyeshadow Palette in Neutral all over the eyelid to better complement the color of Leticia’s gown. 

Lips
Tasha finished off the lips without a liner for a softer edge to the lips and applied bareMinerals Gen Nude Lip Lacquer Buttercream Lipgloss in Flirt for a soft nude peach with sheen to match the sheen of the gown. 

Where to Find Them:
bareMinerals products are available at bareMinerals boutiques and bareMinerals.com. Also available at Sephora, Sephora inside JCPenny, ULTA, Macy’s, Dillards, fine spas and salons. Visit bareminerals.com for store locations.

#CleanBeauty #PowerofGood #bareMinerals
@bareMinerals 

Late Post: Christian Siriano Nails by Kiss

For the debut of Christian Siriano's Spring/Summer 2019 Collection at NYFW, Lead Manicurist of KISS Products Inc. Gina Edwards created the "Twisted Zebra" nail look. The look was created by using the KISS imPRESS Press-On Manicure Medium Length Nails in Black. 


Thursday, September 6, 2018

Teeth

Me and my teeth have had a bad history.
When I was a kid, my mom was taken by some type of dental charlatan. He told her that all I needed to cure the fact that my adult teeth had come in early through shooting out of the gumline beside my baby teeth were rubber bands on my molars. He also insisted that I sleep in some type of head contraption that fastened around my chin with a velcro strap.
After spending God knows how much money with this clown, my mom woke up and smelled the coffee. I started going to a real orthodontist. I mean sure, his office was on the back end of the most ghetto mall in the city, but his office was clean and he used mouth stuff that tasted like candy. Never mind that his breath smelled miserable. He installed the braces that I needed oh so badly.
By the sixth grade, my braces were gone, and I had smooth, white, straight, gorgeous teeth. However, by the 9th grade, I was getting phantom toothaches. By my junior year of college, I bit the bullet and went to the on-campus dentist whose office was on the ground level of what looked to be a small housing project that the school had purchased and turned into a dorm. I remember it was hella dark in there. The dentist told me that I needed a root canal and that he would be happy to perform it after we got back from a hurricane evacuation. A year later, he was gone and never replaced. I was too broke to go to a dentist off-campus. Did I mention also that, at 21, I lost my last baby tooth? It came out while I was eating a bowl of soup, leaving a huge yet lovable gap on the right side of my mouth.
Today I sit here a woman in her early 30s, teething. My wisdom teeth come in a little then stop on and off throughout the year. And, I noticed when trying to film my first IGTV video that my bottom teeth are shifting and that I probably need a retainer or something. Now, I get to be one of those gross spitty mouth people, if I can even rummage up the money to go to the dentist.
This is the drama that is my teeth. This drama will end in about two years when I undoubtedly have to get dentures.