Malfunctioning

The other day I attempted to watch The Barbie Movie. I didn't finish it because I got annoyed when Ken tried to boss up. Hopefully you have seen it, because this may be a spoiler alert. 

There is a part in the movie where Barbie loses her Barbieness. She isn't so happy and loses her foot arches. And she tells her friends about this and one of them says, "You're malfunctioning." BINGO! There is a word for it!!

Depression. Anxiety. Exhaustion. Negative self talk. Deep sadness. Endless loneliness. Torrential crying. I'm malfunctioning! Surely if it can happy to Barbie it can happen to me!

I guess I have to finish the rest of the movie to figure out what to do next. Until I get the energy to roll over and turn on my computer, I think I will take a 7 hour nap. It's just good to finally have a diagnosis. 

Snow Job

Child. 

It's that magical time in Atlanta where there is a threat of snow. And by threat of snow, I need you to know, that there only needs to be the threat of one snow flake for the city to lose it. You have probably seen the coverage of our grocery stores wherever you live. Shelves are BARE as if we live in Colorado and are expecting an avalanche. My Doordash delivery lady had to make some hard decisions yesterday. There was hardly anything left at the store, especially when it came to the off brand stuff. However, I am excited to try the that $8 bread I've been wanting to try for so long. There was no other bread on the available!!

It's in the winter when I am most grateful to live in the South. I saw some downright outrageous videos of Northerns literally snowed into their homes and cars sliding and crashing on expressways. There were women, WOMEN, wearing pounds of coats and scarves, attempting to shovel their driveways with snow coming up to their knees! No ma'am! 

There is a 90% chance of snow today. Don't get too excited. Our snow rarely sticks. The most determined kid can hardly make a suitable snowman. That doesn't stop the city from shutting down like some type of NYC apocalyptic ice storm is upon us. School is cancelled. People are buying gasoline like they need enough to drive to the moon. We've discussed the over shopping. You would think the world is ending. 

And it's not. Not today anyway. Like every other ATAlien, I will be locked in the house watching Netflix, nibbling on snacks. If you are here, I suggest you do the same. There will be inevitable drama outside. Y'all be safe! 

Hopes and Dreams

I'm a few days into being 40 and I have to say that I am adjusting into it like a pair of church shoes three sizes too small. Some women hit 40 and it's just another year, but it really is a milestone for me. I am now in the perfect position to look back and see clearly all the mistakes I have made and all the things I didn't get done. And in doing so I now find myself wondering if I should continue to try to make my dreams come true or just give up, cut my losses, and try to make some real money before I end up retiring with nothing. I could become one of those unfortunate seniors who has to get a roommate and move into an extended stay motel. At some point, is it just best to let your hopes and dreams go?

I want to say yes, but I'm not so sure. My dreams of becoming a world famous author have kept the lights on in my heart since I was 6! How do I now transition into trying to figure something else out? The thought is exhausting and pressing now that I'm old enough to be a victim of age discrimination. I look forward to the day where I'm told I'm too old to file papers or pick up trash on the side of the expressway. Devoid of the teaspoon of energy and optimism I had as a younger woman, I can't imagine the mental fortitude it's going to take to make it now. 

On top of this, writing is dying. Pretty soon, everything written that we read, down to the subtitles on a commercial, will be written by AI. I will be the first to say I can't compete with a computer! 

As I need to find a way to make bigger money, I can't imagine my life without trying to fulfill my hopes and dreams. It's a get published or die trying type of deal. How fun it's going to be trying to make it with the ticking of a grandfather clock in my ear. The Arthur theme song says, "Believe in yourself! That's the place to start!" We'll see. 

Happy New Year!!

2025 is here y'all, and I am proud to announce that I did not go out. Nope! Once upon a time, a 20-something year old Holly would have weighed paying a bill on time with buying a ticket to some stuffy Atlanta hotel party with no guaranteed seating. You know the type. A standing room only affair with no food and a DJ no one has heard of. Tonight, you could not have paid me to go out. I had a sparkling grape juice toast with my family, watched The Peach Drop on TV, talked to Haynes, then went to bed. Funny, the last time I went Downtown to see The Peach Drop, gunshots rang out before the concert started, and everyone ran. This was after a man dressed like Jesus with a homemade cross on his back told my gay homegirls they were going to hell. Ah, memories. Anywho, Happy New Year!!