Coming to Terms

There is a lot going on inside of me that I would like to talk to my friends about but I feel like they judge me already and are already seconds away from no longer being my friend. Plus, I don't want to say anything that could have me on the receiving end of another hurtful intervention.

And, if by chance, you have not had an intervention yet, you will, and it will be the most painful thing you will ever sit through- everyone you love telling you you suck. Niiccee.

Guess I better get my prayer on.

Tonight I got to meet Victoria Rowell and almost completely flipped out! My grandmother was a HUGE fan of hers, and I watched her on The Young and The Restless so often that talking to her, I felt like I knew her. When I was little, I was so familiar with the story line that I would discuss it with my teachers! Today, if I turned on the show, I wouldn't know what was going on. But I was so happy to have gotten to meet her. She is super nice, and, you can't tell in this pic, but she was also super stylish. Goodtimes.

Boo-hoo

Today someone brought to my attention that I have gained weight since the last time I saw them, and I have to say guys, it took me to a dark place. I was amongst the whose who of Atlanta, which is the ONLY reason that I didn't start crying. However, I had a few close calls on my way to the bus stop.
Either I am nearing the old menstruals, or society is breaking me down. People have always had something to say about my size. And over the years, I have grown accustomed to it and had grown a thick skin. But of late, I have become increasing aware of the staring and, in some cases, the diversion of eyes, and it is starting to get under my skin. Tonight's comment marked the first time in a long time that I can honestly say my feelings were hurt. Boo-hoo right? I am annoyed by my own weakness in this situation.

Annoyance

I have been pretty annoyed lately and I can't tell if I'm about to get my period or if I really have had it with some things...or some people.

Goapele - Milk and Honey

This song makes me happy. Happy Tuesday readers!

Homeless Beau

I met a guy, is name is Samuel.
He approached me when I was getting off the Greyhound bus.
I thought that he wanted to tell me about his religion. I think he is a Black Jew for Jesus. But when he called me, he was totally on some cakin' type stuff.
I like him, even though he is shorter than me.
He has a beard like Rick Ross, a four year old daughter and, also, I think he's homeless.
He said he wants to feel on my booty, lol, fat chance! I don't have a booty.
I'm supposed to be meeting up with him to make-out in the park.
He is nice to me when we speak. And I'm kind of sweet on him, even though he may be a bumb.

J.Lo Dreams

I did dream boards yesterday with the girls I volunteer with, and one of the girls showed me hers, which had a HUGE cut out of J.Lo in the middle. I smiled, thinking it was adorable and a little silly. But I guess dreaming to be like J. Lo at 14 is no sillier than being 26, fat, and wishing to have legs like Amerie.