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Monday, January 11, 2021

Sleep Fighting

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love sleeping. I mean, love it. Like most people love their kids or ice cream. Yet lately, my sleep has been spotty at night due to weird dreams. 

Like most people sleeping during the pandemic, I often dream that I go somewhere, like the grocery store or out with friends, and realize that I don't have my mask on and that I am breathing the Rona-infected air. I feel like that dream is pretty self-explanatory. Dreams that I am having more frequently include my ex-friend ______.

I have not talked to _____ in years. ______ and I used to be besties, but now our communication doesn't go any further than picture likes on social media. ______ has made it clear, through their silence, that they no longer want to have a friendship with me. I say that I am okay with it. I have prayed about it. But truth be told, I am still hurt over it while social media pictures show ______ out and about and living life not worried at all about me. 

Over the past few nights, I have been having dreams, taking place in different places and settings, where ______ and I get into blowout arguments and fights. For the most part, I can not remember what ______ and I are fighting about when I wake up, but last night was different. I dreamed that _______ and I were at some party, and ______ got in my face, screaming, saying that there were five reasons that we were no longer friends. The only one I can remember was my being too fat and ugly. This was interesting. Obviously, I don't think these things about myself. But I did often feel that _______ felt this way around me. We went to the mall once together and ______ tried to keep a distance between the two of us so that  no one would think we knew each other. I remember this day clearly because my feelings were low key hurt and I got a really cute pair of earrings from Forever21. 

I have never been good at interpreting dreams. But maybe God is telling me to get ready to fight off negativity in the new year. I don't know. I think I'm going to sleep on it.