Hey Guys!

Hi everybody! Sorry for the neglect, but I have been pondering some of life's major questions: am I meant to go to grad school, where is my career headed, should a girl my size really wear leggings?
My overall attitude has been reflected in my environment. My poor room was so disgusting that I had a nightmare about my closet coming to life and eating me. On top of that, I woke up the other morning with the dreaded pizza face. Word to the wise readers: a diet of chips and off-brand sodas is not good for your skin.
Then, as you know or don't know, I went to The Tribeca Film Festival this past week. I love being in New York. It was rainy, gross, and stinky. I can't think of a place I would rather be right now!
So I'm back. I'm busy, but back.

So I am at Tribeca and last night, as I was going down the theatre elevator, I run into AMERICA FERRERA. I had been at the theatre all day...and I looked horrible! Look, my bra strap is showing and my head rap, that looked sute that morning, was sliding off my head. Ugh! Let this be a message to your readers: ALWAYS look your best, for you never know when you will run into America Ferrera and have the chance to get a pic.

The Little White Lie

This dude who desses up like a king and dances on the sidewalk to advertise for a tax service wrote me a love letter. It's the first love letter I have ever received. We shall call him Tax King. It was a really sweet letter guys:) It made me smile because it was really honest and just sweet. I don't know how else to put it. But I am not interested. So I told Lauren that I am going to write him a letter back, stating how sweet the letter was, but (and here is the little lie) I have a boyfriend in the Marines, which is why he never sees us together, and we have been together for a really long time. I have to decline his request to get know me better. Lauren's response: "Why don't you tell him you're a liar?" Lauren and I have a crucial difference in ideals: she is totally anti-lie. I believe that a teeeeny lie, to save someone's feelings, is OK. Listen, I have been rejected, RUDELY by a so many guys. I would still possibly have an ounce of self-esteem if one of them would have had the heart to just lie to me and tell me that they were in a relationship instead of just flat out telling me that they were not interested in me or that I suck. If I have a boyfriend in the Marines, we could have had a shot if I wasn't with somebody. See how much nicer that is? So, being a veteran reject, I am going to do the more humane thing and write him a letter back.

Blah

Today I have a crap load of crap to do. Top of the list: my taxes, which need to be post-marked by tomorrow! I have articles to get together, and just a whole bunch of other stuff, you have no idea. And I was pumped to get started on all of this yesterday, but today, all menstrual and such, I have no desire to do anything but roll around on my floor and get my hands on some chocolate. Not to mention I need to some how come up with 7 stacks so my brother can enroll in school next semester. That is weighing on my heart and mind to the point of exhaustion. When I sit up, I just want to lay back down. It's one of those situations that makes you feel completely helpless. I guess I need to pray, but I don't feel like it if I can be honest. God sees everything that is going on. SO MUCH TO DO, AHHHHH! Blah.

The Paranoid Rants of an Un-confirmed Skitzo

As you all should know by now, I have my little things. One minute I am happy, the next minute I am pissed. Sometimes I am optimistic, other times I want to roll under a couch and die. And I thank you all for following me on this inconsistent roller coaster ride from Hell. Really, I do. This month my new thing is believing that those closest to me are hiding from me because they don't want to talk to me because I am a total annoyance and Debbie Downer. They were my friends in school because my personality was too big and they could not escape me. Now that we have distance between us it is way easier to avoid me. Like, I texted Brownie recently and he texted me back that he was at work. I know that this is probably true, but in my mind, I just imagine him chillin', eating pizza on his couch, watching The Departed or something, thinking of something to text me that will keep me at bay that won't sound like an outright lie. Every Sunday I call Fran, and today she said she couldn't talk long because she had lesson plans and had to meet up with her sister. Again, most likely true. But I imagine that she hangs up with me, calls one of our other friends, and raves about how she just has to change her number because she can't stand these Sunday chats and doesn't know how long she can go on faking like this. So I turned to Google. Some article said that a sign of a Skitzo is that they feel that people close to them are conspiring against them. Of course, this is one out of like ten signs that I have, but I feel like this one is serious enough for me to make a diagnosis. So now, amongst all of my evident issues, I am a skitz. Sigh, what are you gonna do?

The Pope Run-In

The other day was my sister's birthday, and my aunt and I went to Publix to get her a cake. And while I was at the self check-out, I ran into Mrs. Pope, one of my assistant teachers from elementary school. She asked me if I was in grad school yet, and I told her no. This super sucked because I had told her two years ago that I was getting my ducks in line to go in, which I was. Sigh. Then she told me her daughter, Imani, who is my age, just got a job as an engineer and is married and lives with the hubby. I was like, "Imani isn't in Atlanta anymore?" And she was like, "No, she never came back." Hmmm. I left, cake in hand, feeling like a complete loser. Jamaica told me a harsh truth: I am NOT getting any younger. I am getting older everyday, and the people around me are doing SO MUCH MORE with their lives! And I know that I rant about this consistantly, but I think about it consistantly. Let's be real, I'm not that far from 30, and I feel like I have not picked up any speed in my life at. all. I am totally rolling my eyes at myself right now.

My friend Jeshawna made a movie! I am so excited for her. If you are going to be in Atlanta, come out and support her!

The Parisse

The Parisse by hjclay featuring patent handbags

TopShop mesh dress $98 - topshop.com

Christian Louboutin leather pumps 765 GBP - brownsfashion.com

Jimmy Choo patent handbag $1,150 - net-a-porter.com

Square sunglass $115 - reissonline.com

Collection John Lewis Women wooden jewelry 50 GBP - johnlewis.com

Kenneth cole jewelry 11 GBP - houseoffraser.co.uk

Ice Cream Spit Job

Just so you know, the week before I get paid you can make a safe bet that I am hungry, primarily because I am broke. So last week, I was rumbling around the house, hungry as usual, and came across Connie's icecream. I shit you not, I took one spoonful. Why only one when I was hungry? Well, I didn't want her to flip out as she is known to do. Plus, when I get hungry like this during this time, I nibble. Eating a lot makes me sick, as proven by The Great Cinnamon and Holly Pizza Benge Of 2011. So, I go out of town on a day trip and she sends me this text telling me she spit in her icecream. Spiteful bs like that makes me forget that I love the Lord and makes me want to take her cat on the Marta train, ride to the end of the line, and throw himin the garbage can behind the grossest Chili's in Atlanta.

My Confessions

All day I dream about sex and clothes. I want to smash. I have a crush on a boy I went to college with that happens to be living in Atlanta now. I spend a large part of my day brainstorming how I can get him over here to makeout. Grad school, sigh. I spend so much time saving just to have nothing which makes me furious! I don't want to be rich, I just want to have enough side money to buy about 10 maxi dresses. Is that too much to ask? I really want to smash, did I mention that? I have a bad case of the Babies. Every time I see one, I have to stop and do the whole baby talk deal. I get sad when the baby goes bye-bye. These are emotions I have to monitor before I make a HUGE future ruining mistake. It is becoming clearer and clearer everyday that I am emotionally embalanced, and that is just going to have to be OK.

The amount of girl crushes I have had of late is causing me to ask myself some very serious questions...

Usher - Can U Get Wit It

Me On The Radio

Have a listen to me on the radio last night and let me know if you think it stinks:)

Listen to internet radio with lasayinc on Blog Talk Radio

I'm On The Radio Tonight:)

Hello everybody! I apologize for not posting enough as usual. I feel like my life has been going a mile a minute. Tonight, I hope you guys tune into Blog Talk Radio. I will be co-hosting the L.A. Says Show at 9:30pm EST. The topic: Religion Addiction. I am so excited! I have never been on I the radio before. I hope you all can tune in:)