The Back Up Beau

All the men in my life are in relationships, which sucks, because I can't talk to them when I want to and when I do get to talk to them, they tell me all about the highs and lows of their new loves.
Eyeroll.
Don't mean to sound like a hater here, but I don't really care if I do.
Somewhere through the course of my life, when it comes to my male friends, I have become like the back-up beau! Like I'm their personal Madame Cleo that is there around the clock to help them with their lives and their relationships. I'm like a shrink that doesn't get a check or something when it comes to these dudes, only for them to not take my advice, and then complain to me a couple of months later.
Truly, I can not roll my eyes hard enough.
This is not cool. This is not a role I want to play for the rest of my life, at all.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Not that I am really attracted to my boy homies, but what is it about me that always puts me in the friend zone? I used to think it was the whole fat thing, but I have fat girl friends that aren't even as cute as me that are engaged. I have boiled it down to me being too cool.
Ladies, being the cool girl in the group is about as much of a death sentence as being the guy bff that the girls ignore because he is "too nice." For what I have found, through surfing Facebook photo albums and examining my friends, is that no one wants to date the cool girl. No one wants to bone the cool girl. No one wants to buy the cool girl drinks. It's all about the obnoxious girl that carries her purse on her forearm and takes pics with her friends at the club in the bathroom.
Sigh, I guess I am just complaining. Ignore me.