There are a lot of obstacles when it comes to dating in your 30s, obstacles that I would have never imagined as a woman in my 20s. There are men dealing with divorce, men in relationships that think they are single, men still living with their exes to save money, men with side pieces, men with secret children, men with whole secret families, men who only want to date barely legal women, men who want to be Peter Pan. I mean the laundry list of issues goes on and on and on. But I am finding that the biggest obstacle facing single 30-something women is fighting that sometimes all-consuming urge to settle.
Here is something that I think that they should tell children in elementary school not to discourage them but to prepare them: loneliness is a BI$#H! It will make you do some stupid things that you would not normally do. For my single homegirls inching towards 35, it can cause them to do things like entertain losers that they are completely too good for. They say that if a woman is single over 30, there must be something wrong with her. But I am here to say, if there is a man over 30 that is single, watch.out. I find the single 30-something man to be both crazy and bold; pulling laughable foolishness out of their hats at the drop of a dime.
BFF1 just ended a relationship with a guy who has moved his ex in with him to save money. BFF2 was basically told by her on again off again beau that he's still interested in her, a little. Whether or not they get back together depends on where he gets into grad school. BFF3 just broke things off with a man that didn't understand why she was upset that he had a plethora of other girlfriends. She was over 30 after all. She should be happy to be with a man at all. NOT!
My friends knew that these guys were losers, but they chose to settle because they were tired of being lonely and I get it. But I believe that you should settle because, while you are settling, you are presenting yourself as in a relationship to the potential love of your life.
Cuffing season has come to an end. Valentine's Day has passed. If you are single, the urge to entertain that late night text pall that wants to come over and watch a movie at midnight may be very strong. But I encourage you to resist this urge and stand firm. Mr. Right is on the way. We have to believe this ladies. There is no shame in being the last of the dating Mohicans if the loves of our lives are right around the corner.
