Paternity Potato

Of late, I have been sitting on my imaginary couch watching real reruns of Paternity Court like a couch potato. That's right: I'm a Paternity Potato. '
Finding out that 5 seasons of full episodes of this show are on Youtube has been the most amazing, unproductive thing to happen to me in a long time. I have had a lot on my mind, on my chest, and in my spirit, so watching Paternity Court reruns has served as a welcome escape and fun way to waste time.
As a writer, I am a sucker for a good story, and this show is FULL of good stories. Women that get pregnant in threesomes. Men who thought they couldn't have kids because of painful, disfiguring scrotum trama, only to find out they are the father of twins. People who find out in their 40s that their father isn't really their father. On its face, it's a really sad show that highlights the downfall of our society. It is also hilarious.
I am at a stage in my life where it has become clear that it is time to activate the Plan B plan. Plan A was a mess, and it is going to take some serious brainstorming, GRE studying, research, and self-patience to get to the next level. But this whole process is overwhelming and exhausting. I just want to go back to a time where I was so stupid and tipsy on hand grenades that if my life was sinking, I would not have even noticed. But the past is in the past and I am now grown and very aware. I also don't drink anymore, so the drowning feeling is very frightening.
P thinks that I am a lazy crybaby. Maybe he is right. Thinking about all of my issues literally sucks the life out of me. Listening to an episode as I type, I guess it is a small blessing that I at least know who my father is. You have to be grateful for the little things.