The Tough Questions

The other day, I got a particularly horrible Dear John letter from a company I applied to work at. It was hella harsh. I would have much rather they would have knocked on my door then shot me in the foot. 

"Damn!" Lisha exclaimed after I read her the email. "That was... direct." That is a cute way of describing it. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this letter was the written equivalent of giving someone the middle finger. 

It is times like this where I am AGAIN reminded of Penis Man. I wonder about what happened to this guy quite often, especially during my job search. Years ago, I was listening to the news on the radio and the newscaster did a report on a man who had applied to hundreds of jobs and could not get a call back. So, in a desperate state of mind, he began to send in pictures of his junk with his resume. He was arrested for indecent exposure. Too bad I wasn't working in HR back then. That kind of on-your-feet thinking would have gotten him an interview from my company. 

Can I just ask one question: what are we doing? The nation is at war, the aliens are coming, the vegetables are giving folks explosive diarrhea. What are we doing? Applying for jobs? Looking for work? Trying to make a living? Shouldn't we be dancing in the street naked before a record breaking hurricane comes and wipes us out? Am I going to be surfing Indeed when the comet hits? I guess I will ponder these questions later as I edit my resume. 

Sleepless in Atlanta

I am exhausted, but I can't sleep. I close eyes, and all I see are job descriptions and my resume. There is this overwhelming feeling that there is work I need to get done, so I can't relax to sleep. I look up potential jobs to apply to the next day, but that's still not suitable to get my body to chill. And as if that isn't enough, the to-do list of everything else I need to get done plays in my head on a loop. It's times like this that I really want to talk to someone but, of course, everyone is asleep. They are asleep and I am awake. 

They say when you can't sleep, God is trying to tell you something. I'm no theologian, but I think God is trying to tell me to get off my a$!. And I get it, but I know God also knows that I'm nothing, nothing without sleep. Yesterday, I checked the time and it was 11am and I had my computer set up to work. Before I knew it, I was being woken up from a two hour nap I didn't intend to take. I feel like I'm all over the place, probably because I am. Once I finish blogging, I guess I will sweep my floor. Why not? It's not like I'm sleeping. 

Slump

More than one of my friends has brought to my attention that they think I am in a life slump. 

"What do you do all day?" P asked me last night over the phone. "Do you just watch TV?"

"No. I also sleep and cry," I said honestly, nibbling on a mint-flavored floss stick. He asked me this after I casually tried to give him a five minute, three season round-up of Greenleaf. He seemed annoyed but didn't go any further which should have rung as a bad sign. He usually doesn't miss a beat when it comes to sticking a needle in my balloon. 

Then my aunt got mad at me this morning after I tried to connect something she was telling me to something I learned from one of my favorite shows, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team. 

"Why are you always talking about that stupid show?!" she snapped. "You need to go out into the world, get a job, and make some friends!"

"I have friends!" I defended. True tea. 

"You need work friends. When you had work friends, you went out."

I rolled my eyes. I used to be so outgoing. Now I just want to lay down on the floor and catch up on How To Get Away With Murder. The disappointments of the past few years have been overwhelming and momentous. And yes, everyone has hard times. I am told that the cure to this is to keep pushing, but I have to say, I have pushed myself sleepy. All I want to do is take a tune out. I guess the trick is making sure that this is not what the rest of my life adds up to. However, right now, I am in no mood for tricks. I just want to binge my recorded episodes of American Horror Story.