When I was a kid, I didn't like the song "The Wheels on the Bus". I remember we would sing it in kindergarten, and everyone in the class would really be into it, but not me. I just couldn't stop thinking of being on a bus that wouldn't stop or that you couldn't get off of. I guess even then, I didn't like the idea of being taken on a ride. The Block Circler is taking me on a ride.
Our first ride, I guess you could say that he kicked me off the bus. I wasn't open enough. I think we all know what it means when a guy says that. It's right up there with not being adventurous enough. Get my drift? After what I thought was a conversation where we made up, he left me waiting at the bus stop for three months. To my shock, he reemerged, and I was skeptical. But then he started texting me a lot and showing me a lot of attention and telling me not to give up on "us". We had what I thought was a great conversation. Remembering what happened after our last convo, I asked him how he was feeling, and he said he too thought it was a great convo. That was over a week ago. After promising to text me he has gone completely silent. Now I feel like he was driving our bus, randomly jumped out of the driver's side window, leaving me on the bus screaming because I don't know how to drive!
AGAIN, I am left feeling stupid. If Maya Angelou was right, and you have to believe people when they show you who they are the first time, then how does that leave any room for forgiveness or change or reconciliation or any of the things? Are we always supposed to assume the worst? Can't we try to have optimistic hearts and minds? Considering how I just took another lap on a bus going nowhere, it looks like the infinite wisdom of heavenly Mother Maya has rung true yet again. How disappointing.
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