Grown and Graphic

Once you hit aunty status, it is important that you allow the little nieces and nephews of your life, both biological and community-wise, to live their lives as young adults. This can be difficult, especially when you remember them as babies. Coming to terms with the fact they they are new growns can be hard, and even shocking. Let me explain. 

Admittedly, shamefully, I keep up with some "grown-up" accounts on socials. And I say keep up because I don't follow them because I don't want people to know I follow them. I don't want people thinking I am who I am😞🫤🤫🤐 Anyway, I was on socials this morning, looking at a post from one of these said accounts and saw that one of my children had liked one of their posts. I screamed and flipped my phone over! Why is one of my children online looking at filth?! I mean, my heart was racing! 

First off, the very idea that one of the 20-somethings I helped raise could be on the same type of naughty time I'm on is disgusting! It's like finding out that your stuffed animal has an OF account. Secondly, how did they find out about this social medialite? I hope they aren't being influenced in real life by people like secret me! If this particular son or daughter is out there making things happen like were in this post - out there consorting with freaks and loosie goosies - I am going to die! 

My first instinct was to call this person's parents, but I couldn't tell on their child without telling on myself. Plus, what was I going to say? Your kid is grown doing grown stuff? Just because you like a post about something doesn't mean you do it. Case in point, I like a lot of posts about cooking and cleaning. Also, I'm an aunty! Aunties don't snitch. 

Naw, we don't snitch but now I am keeping an eye on this rogue God child of mine. They better not be up to any mess, but I respect their right to be. Kinky recognize Kinky. 

Curly and the Pee

Something is afoot in the dating world. I am not into the Zodiac or anything like that, but are the planets realigning? Is the sun shifting? Something is wrong in the divine order of things. I don't know what to call it technically or medically, but it seems like many single men have lost their minds, and because I can not make any sense of it here on Earth, I guess it is time for me to take my questions on the matter into the spiritual realm. Recently, a man flashed me his junk "on mistake" during a video call. Risky Business was stood up for four dates in one weekend. And now, Curly has even been taken for a pretty gross ride, meaning that the crazy is even going on in the gay community. I mean, are we all screwed?

Over the weekend, Curly went on a dinner date with his guy friend, Todd, which went pretty well. Then afterwards, they decided to hit up a couple of bars. All was well until they hit up the last bar, a gay bar that seemed pretty niche from the word go. 

"I walked into the bar and literally every guy there looked like different versions of George from Seinfeld," he said. This made me laugh. I mean, how many Georges could there be in one place? According to Curly, it was a whole house full. He went to the bar and ordered a drink, then asked Todd to hold said drink while he went to the bathroom. Todd gremised. Apparently, this was a bad idea.

"The guys here are really into piss play," he informed Curly. "They pretty much pee on each other in the bathroom."

Who takes their date to some type of pee palace piss kink nightmare club on a date?! Curly didn't have time to think about it. He really had to pee. He went to the bathroom, and what he saw was horrifying. First off, the floor was pretty much saturated in urine. And there were no uninals, just some type of group pee troft and a stall with no door. Listening to him describe it, it sounded like a bathroom in some type of overseas men's prison. There was only one man in there at the moment, and he was visibly disappointed when Curly left the bathroom after he relieved himself and didn't stick around for a pee party. On the ride home, Todd seemed a bit confused by Curly's attitude. I mean, what's the big deal about taking someone you like romantically to some type of open diaper den? 

The moral of this story? These guys either openly don't give a sh$t or they are setting you up to get peed on. Now, if that doesn't sound like an awesome, swingin' dating scene, I don't know what does!