I got the opportunity to interview Pam Grier, and I asked her how she avoided being a bitter Black woman after many of her relationships failed miserably. And she said that she didn't think the term "bitter" was fair; that a woman would be bitter if she wasted time that she can not get back.
I think about these words every now and then, and they have been on replay in my mind for a few days. I have been thinking about how much time I have wasted on rethinking all the things that men have said to me that hurt. It doesn't matter how long ago what was said was said, I can see the scene in my head when they said and quote whatever lines they fed me word for word.
It's not fair. Men don't remember anything. They physically and mentally screw people and keep going. They recall nothing. The world is just there's to be had, any way they want it, and the women they interact with are just pawns in it.
Ms. Grier has real reasons to be bitter and told me not to be. That again, it wastes time. But the older I am getting, it is getting harder for me to see someone else's bullhoodle toward me as their issue and not mine. In turn, I can also feel the bitterness beginning to radiate from my head to my toes. I'm bitter that I am bitter and bitter that I let some man's words bitter me. If only I had Pam's state of mind...wish upon a star.
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