P Irritation

Of late, I find that I have been annoyed with P, even though he has been on his best behavior. I trace this irritation back to his finding a potential wife. Sigh. I really thought I had made some progress and I was over this! Like, it was weird listening to him tell me about the girl, because I had still in the back of my mind figured I would be his wife. Am I retarded or something? A person can't be any clearer about their feelings about someone than P has been with me. Not. Interest. Since. Day. One. And in my mind, I have created this fictional marital life that will never come to pass. P isn't even P in these fantasies. It's the P have created! A P that doesn't cut me off when I talk and that isn't a sexist; a P that doesn't think he's smarter than me and that pays me compliments. I gotta be honest kiddos, I am a wee bit sensitive when it comes to issues of the marital sort. It is something that I didn't think I wanted until all my male friends started tying the knot and getting engaged. Now I am left with the bones of the situation. Not happy about that. I don't want to be alone. Double. Sigh.