Damn this Pan-African mindframe from preventing me from being the ratchet girl that I feel I am truly destined to be.
This is the problem with being educated: it makes you aware. Understanding the struggles of Black women throughout the ages, I can not, with good conscience, twerk to a song IN PUBLIC where I am being referred to as a bitch! But man, do I want to. Don't you think I don't want to watch all the houswife type shows where Black women jump each other and throw drinks in each other's faces? It's all I have ever wanted! But this pride in my ancestors and this pesky Black Nationalist attitude won't allow me to!
Oh the ratchets. I see them everyday, living their carefree lives with their bright orange weaves and long fake nails. Animal print leggings as pants? Sure! Ass photos on Instagram? Why not? Tatoos, half shirts to highlight their belly rings (or stretch marks), cursing out their boyfriend on a Metro phone while pushing a stoler down the street- there is just so much fun to be had when you have no shame or a healthy sense of self. And what has that gotten me anyway? No man? A job where I often feel unappreciated? I want to have some fun!
And not the socially acceptable fun that I am accustomed to having either. I have been having Rated G fun since I was in pre-K. I want ratchet rap video girl fun that starts with me dancing for dollars on a bar table and ends in a Molly induced blur. Fuck being a student of Garvey! Screw one day returning to Africa! The furthest I am going from my house is the club!
I want to feel elation from being degraded. I want to be overwhelmed with joy from having no class. I want a taste of what it is like to have no taste.
See, I know there is ratchet deep inside of me. If it wasn't there, I wouldn't be such a fan of Uncle Luke and know most of the words to Player's Club.
But sadly, I feel that the ratchet me will never see the light of day. Not even on a vacation. And as a proud member of the low income branch of the Talented Tenth, I will have to accept this. If only I could be more like Evelyn Lozada and less like Betty Shabazz...
