So allow me to give you some history. I would pinpoint high school as when I began to change my language; when I started to get mean. I was made fun of a lot, so I guess that you can say that hurt people hurt people. In college, I continued to be mean because I was able to vocalize my nastiness in a way that made people laugh. People thought I was so funny and loved me for it, but at the core, I was just mean. So as an adult, I have continued my poor emo language and I can also throw shade with the best of them. I was eager to see what life would be like if I kept my mouth closed if I had nothing to say. There have been at least a couple of days when I have literally said nothing!
The first major difference I have seen from trying to keep a clean mouth is that my ears have become sensitive to other people's cruelty. Hanging around colleagues recently my ears were burning from the nasty things that they were saying about our mutual friends. I had never noticed how nasty they were before. I guess because I was too and people like to keep like company.
Another thing I have noticed from not being quick to respond with a remark is that I now have a lot of time to listen. Funny, it seems that nobody notices the listener. So I get to sit quietly listening to other folks spill their tea for the heck of it. I don't even repeat what I hear, but I find it funny how people are okay with being unkind and messy publicly, not caring who overhears.
No, I will not be able to change my language overnight, but I am working on it. That is not to say that I will not stand up for myself if needed, but I really am trying to get away from just being nasty because. In trying to be more positive, I need more positive things to leave my lips. I will let you know that end result.
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