Almost Honest

Just a few moments ago I was texting a cute guy that I met during a girl's night out at Chili's. He asked me how my day was, and I began to respond. Afterward, I read over my text for grammar errors and immediately realized that I had to erase everything I'd written. I was telling him what a poopy day I'd had. This is a no no! I haven't known him long enough to be honest with him. I replaced my bad day rant with some poppycock about today being awesome because the sun was out. This was the biggest lie of all. The pollen was so heavy today that I thought I was going to have an asthma attack as I walked to work.

Every girl that knows something about anything knows that you don't show too much of yourself to a guy too early. For the first couple of months, you have to be on your best behavior. Never yelling. Down to do stupid stuff on dates that don't interest you. No farts. Being an intensely negative person, this means keeping my downer thoughts and the details of my downer days to myself. This stinks because I have so much to say but can't. If you could call my new beau and ask him to describe me, he would probably say that I am quiet. LOL, what a joke!

How awesome the world would be if you could just be yourself off the bat. No secrets. No lies. No wigs- you could just be you. I predict that relationships would end pretty soon, but that would be fine. No one's time would be wasted, and you could move on to the next in good conscience.

But sadly, this is not the way of the world. So for the next month or two, assuming my new beau doesn't drop me because he doesn't get that I'm not responding to him because I literally have nothing nice to say, I have to be Patty Positive, as boring and as fake as she is. You may be shaking your head interneters, but I'm telling you the truth. Nothing puts an end to a young courtship like honesty.