#oldladyproblems

My friend Cali from college is so drastically different from me that I can't believe that we are friends. I try to lean on the apprehensive side of life, and she went through college swinging from the chandeliers...and from boys. This is why I was surprised to hear that she had some of the same anxieties as me in regards to our upcoming college reunion.
"I don't really do crowds like that," she said. "It's going to be crowded."
I had just been thinking the same thing earlier that day.
We attended college in New Orleans, so naturally, much of our spare time was spent on Bourbon Street. For those of you who don't know what Bourbon Street is like, it is essentially a claustrophobic hot box from hell lined with bars, dance halls, and strip clubs. At 22, I could literally stay on Bourbon Street all night. At 32, the idea of going down there at its least crowded hour for lunch makes me want to hide under the bed.
We can now add a fear of crowds to my ever-growing list of #oldladyproblems.
Something happens after you turn 30. I call it IDon'tWantToness. Others would call it becoming more cautious or knowing better what you want. For me, it just boils down to things that I don't want to do.
For instance, I no longer desire to wear shoes. My feet have to breathe! I have shoes, of course, but I often look them over for a cheap, raggedy, worn-in pair of blue men's flip-flops that I got from Walgreen's.
I also try to limit the time I am going to spend places, like movie theaters and malls, where I know that there are going to be teens. I find that socially, they are just too much to deal with, so I'd rather go see a movie at 9am while they are in school to ensure that I will not run into one. I know that that sounds horrible, but the reward in waking up that early is not having to deal with their unruly behavior and crazy clothes.
In college, I also wore many an outfit that was uncomfortable so that I could look cute. Today, I would rather be comfortable than cute, even if that means wearing the hugest, ugliest house dress to the grocery store that you have ever seen. I hate standing in lines. I hate standing period. I need advance notice to mentally prepare to go out with friends. I NEED naps. This is non-negotiable.
The trick to having #oldladyproblems is not allowing them to make you a recluse who no longer cares about her appearance. I'm working on it.