I'm lonely.
This is something that I already knew, but now my loneliness is starting to manifest in my behaviors. For example, I have recently picked up the weird pastime of sitting in my room in the dark and watching Facebook videos of people getting zits and blackheads popped on their faces. If that doesn't scream lonely...and weird, I don't what does!
Then, of course, there was my unfortunate slip into a one-way Instagram obsession with a male dancer two months ago. The less said about that the better.
I have been told that the best way to beat loneliness is to get out and be active. I would, but it's cold outside. I have also been told that exercise is a good remedy for beating the blues, and I would totally exercise, but I am fat and lazy.
The only thing that I really have the energy to do is write in my journal and crawl up on my floor with the lights off. I find it peaceful, the combination of darkness and listening to myself breath.
In these moments of silence, I can not help but reflect on how I have deluded myself into believing that the loneliness would just zap away if I had a dude to cuddle with during these bone chilling Atlanta nights. Knowing deep down inside that this would only make matters worse, I have gone on Amazon to price an oversized bear that I can hug on while I sleep.
Have any tips on how to beat winter lonelies? Let me know. I'm open to anything that doesn't involve a lot of work. But for now, I must go. Time for my favorite lonely pastime ever: watching The Office on Netflix until I doze off.
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
A Sensitive Situation
I talked to Savannah the other day, and she has all the characteristics of a woman in love. There is a new man in her life and she's excited and just can't hide it! Oddly enough, me and Mr. Loverman graduated college in the same class, two years ahead of Savannah. He's a cutie that has a good job. He has done well for himself fiddling on the stock market. They met at homecoming and they have been talking for about a year. There's just one thing: Savannah is still technically married to her husband.
"That's why you can't tell anyone about this. It is a very sensitive situation," she whispered into the phone. I'd say it is.
As I get older, I am becoming increasingly more aware of how thick the gray is between black and white. Savannah is getting out of a bad marriage. Mr. Loverman likes her a lot and is waiting for the paperwork to get processed on the divorce, and, according to Savannah, her soon-to-be ex-husband is dating already as well! Growing up, my grandmother would have told me that this whole thing is a no-no. But what do you do when love and life push you into a weird situation? Especially one that could sprout the fruits of real happiness and connection?
If you find yourself in the same boat as my girl Savannah, you file your divorce papers, keep your mouth shut, pray your friends keep their mouths shut, and sit tight until everything becomes more ideal. According to Savannah, Mr. Loverman is open to marriage and so is she. This whole thing could end in her walking down the aisle again! Isn't it funny how things work out?
I know that a lot of people have strict beliefs about the sanctity of marriage, but I can't help to cheer for my friend. You only have one life to live, and I want her life to be as full of happiness as possible. Plus, this whole thing proves something Jamaica told me years ago: people do find real love at homecoming. Sigh. I guess when I go this year I should at least get my hair done.
"That's why you can't tell anyone about this. It is a very sensitive situation," she whispered into the phone. I'd say it is.
As I get older, I am becoming increasingly more aware of how thick the gray is between black and white. Savannah is getting out of a bad marriage. Mr. Loverman likes her a lot and is waiting for the paperwork to get processed on the divorce, and, according to Savannah, her soon-to-be ex-husband is dating already as well! Growing up, my grandmother would have told me that this whole thing is a no-no. But what do you do when love and life push you into a weird situation? Especially one that could sprout the fruits of real happiness and connection?
If you find yourself in the same boat as my girl Savannah, you file your divorce papers, keep your mouth shut, pray your friends keep their mouths shut, and sit tight until everything becomes more ideal. According to Savannah, Mr. Loverman is open to marriage and so is she. This whole thing could end in her walking down the aisle again! Isn't it funny how things work out?
I know that a lot of people have strict beliefs about the sanctity of marriage, but I can't help to cheer for my friend. You only have one life to live, and I want her life to be as full of happiness as possible. Plus, this whole thing proves something Jamaica told me years ago: people do find real love at homecoming. Sigh. I guess when I go this year I should at least get my hair done.
Lyn and the Text
How was your Christmas ya'll? Mine was pretty chill; Netflix during the day and dinner with the fam by night.
I texted with Lyn throughout the day. As with most things good, a man was casting a shadow over what should have been a good day. You see, the day was ticking by steadily and she hadn't received a Merry Christmas text from her new beau yet.
"The day isn't over yet," I assured her via text. "And you can always text him."
I could feel Lyn roll her eyes through the phone and I understand why. What girl wants to text their bae first? Is it too much to want to be thought about?
Here is the shinny on Lyn and her new guy: they work together, they are not official, they are having sex, they are both interested in the possibility of a relationship, and he has a kid. They have chemistry and the friendship has potential, for they have been "talking" for two months. I can tell that Lyn is excited, but she is trying not to put any expectations on anything. But geez! When you are having sex with a guy, can't you at least expect a well-wishing text during the holidays? Apparently not.
Dear one man that reads my blog: for 2019, let's make some ground rules. When you are sleeping with a woman, let it be two days, two months, or two years, you are OBLIGATED to send her text on her birthday, on Christmas Day, on Martin Luther King Day, and even her off day. Why? Because it is COMMON COURTESY! Since when do you have to be in love to show some love? Geez!
Lyn may not have gotten her Christmas text but they are now totally back on track. Her sister has met him and thinks that he is amazing. I will keep you posted on how this develops, via text of course.
I texted with Lyn throughout the day. As with most things good, a man was casting a shadow over what should have been a good day. You see, the day was ticking by steadily and she hadn't received a Merry Christmas text from her new beau yet.
"The day isn't over yet," I assured her via text. "And you can always text him."
I could feel Lyn roll her eyes through the phone and I understand why. What girl wants to text their bae first? Is it too much to want to be thought about?
Here is the shinny on Lyn and her new guy: they work together, they are not official, they are having sex, they are both interested in the possibility of a relationship, and he has a kid. They have chemistry and the friendship has potential, for they have been "talking" for two months. I can tell that Lyn is excited, but she is trying not to put any expectations on anything. But geez! When you are having sex with a guy, can't you at least expect a well-wishing text during the holidays? Apparently not.
Dear one man that reads my blog: for 2019, let's make some ground rules. When you are sleeping with a woman, let it be two days, two months, or two years, you are OBLIGATED to send her text on her birthday, on Christmas Day, on Martin Luther King Day, and even her off day. Why? Because it is COMMON COURTESY! Since when do you have to be in love to show some love? Geez!
Lyn may not have gotten her Christmas text but they are now totally back on track. Her sister has met him and thinks that he is amazing. I will keep you posted on how this develops, via text of course.
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