Engagement and the Retired Thug

My friend Angela recently had a Netflix and Chill day date that she was very excited about. Whenever she tells me about a new beau I hold my breath, because she is a notoriously bad partner picker, primarily because she is a heavy proponent of thug love. And I have been here through all of them: the trapper, the rapper, the swinger with OCD. Before she even got started with the story, I was already preparing myself for the BS. 

Apparently, this guy is not a thug...he's a retired thug. He's gone legit everybody, making gourmet food for a laundry list of clients. She said that he opened her car door for her and was a real gentleman. He actually sounded like he may not suck until she told me that he is engaged. 

I swear, anything flies in Atlanta. How do you date someone who is engaged?! I know that people are grown and that they are going to do what they are going to do, but Angela's baby daddy was a cheater. She has been cheated on before. I brought this to her attention and her response was, "Yeah, I felt some type of way about it. But I'm bored."

?

She assures me that the retired thug is nothing serious. She says he has proven that he can't be taken seriously because he is engaged and dating. That's the understatement of the season! As I continued to listen to the deets about the day date, I thought about his fiancé who was possibly snuggled with him at that very moment. I also thought about the boulder of karma that could be rolling full speed at my friend's face. Listen, when I was younger and did something stupid that was karma-able, I would dedicate some months to the universe for forgiveness. These days, I try to stay on the straight and narrow. I don't have months to give away! And neither does Angela. I see this going nowhere fast, hopefully. It's hard to watch friends you loved do dumb ish. 

A Sensitive Situation

I talked to Savannah the other day, and she has all the characteristics of a woman in love. There is a new man in her life and she's excited and just can't hide it! Oddly enough, me and Mr. Loverman graduated college in the same class, two years ahead of Savannah. He's a cutie that has a good job. He has done well for himself fiddling on the stock market. They met at homecoming and they have been talking for about a year. There's just one thing: Savannah is still technically married to her husband.
"That's why you can't tell anyone about this. It is a very sensitive situation," she whispered into the phone. I'd say it is.
As I get older, I am becoming increasingly more aware of how thick the gray is between black and white. Savannah is getting out of a bad marriage. Mr. Loverman likes her a lot and is waiting for the paperwork to get processed on the divorce, and, according to Savannah, her soon-to-be ex-husband is dating already as well! Growing up, my grandmother would have told me that this whole thing is a no-no. But what do you do when love and life push you into a weird situation? Especially one that could sprout the fruits of real happiness and connection?
If you find yourself in the same boat as my girl Savannah, you file your divorce papers, keep your mouth shut, pray your friends keep their mouths shut, and sit tight until everything becomes more ideal. According to Savannah, Mr. Loverman is open to marriage and so is she. This whole thing could end in her walking down the aisle again! Isn't it funny how things work out?
I know that a lot of people have strict beliefs about the sanctity of marriage, but I can't help to cheer for my friend. You only have one life to live, and I want her life to be as full of happiness as possible. Plus, this whole thing proves something Jamaica told me years ago: people do find real love at homecoming. Sigh. I guess when I go this year I should at least get my hair done.

Divorce, Dismorsh

I wrote earlier about how I was sad that Alicia Keys is dating a married man, producer Swiss Beats, and has made no apologies about it. Although there have been more and more postings about K.Swiss fiasco ( I dubbed this name first!), my love of her music is forcing me to try to overlook her, as Big Tiger would say, indiscretions. But when I heard about Fantasia Barrino, I just had to kick the can!
Yes, Fantasia ya'll. Our favorite homegirl American Idol winner that has gone on to put out two albums and a Lifetime movie. Fantasia- Celie of Oprah's The Color Purple stage play. Young Dro's old beau. The woman who's teen life was shaped by being done wrong by a man. That Fantasia. Well, she is now dating a married man too that she...wait for it...MET AT THE SPRINT STORE!
Ugghhh...You know, people go on and on about Gay marriage and atheism but I feel like pulling what Fantasia is pulling is what is really eating away at the fabric of this country. What the Hell happened to the girlfriend's code of conduct?
And we all know what that is whether we choose to live buy it or not ladies. Don't date your bff's ex, return things in better condition than you borrowed them and oh yeah...DON'T ENTERTAIN A MARRIED MAN! Women just don't care anymore. Blame it on a lack of available straight men. Blame it on the income gap between men and women. Hell, blame it on the alcohol. But celebs and everyday broads alike are sporting the married man like the latest Coach bag and in my o-pin-ion, it just isn't cool.
Dating a married man is not new. But I yearn for a time when the other woman stayed in the shadows and just enjoyed expensive gifts and vacations. Then if there was a divorce (very rarely) she would run off into the sunset with her beau...until he found someone else to replace her with.
Why am I irritated if I am not in the situation? Newsflash: all single women are in the situation. Each of us has to deal with what the last girl let the man get away with. Sad but true fact.
On the other hand, I guess it just boils down to that pesky need to be happy, even if it ultimately resorts in unhappiness on someone's end.

Eye of the Tiger: You have to be kidding!

If you are anything like me, you have been following the drama that is the unraveling of Tiger Woods' career. What a mess, right? I have literally been glued to the TV. Every day, another chick comes out of the woodwork to admit that she has boned the golf icon, accompanied by 20 pages of text messages, pics, and a voicemail. The only thing this story is missing is a stained dress!
I have to be honest: I have never been the biggest fan of Tiger. Something about his visible detachment with his black half has always made me uncomfortable. Yet, there is still no denial that he is good at what he does. He brings excitement to an otherwise BORING sport, and was in every other commercial I saw on prime time. The man was so squeaky clean, with his buck teeth and big head, that he reminded you of that awkward third grader that sat in the back of the class. I mean, you felt like you could eat out of his hand!
But not anymore. He has been using his hand for other things, and it has put him in some deep do-do! His wife moved back to Sweden, he has lost endorsements, his mistresses are making money off of the story, and after watching the news a while ago, I heard he has gone into hiding.
Let's be real here: men cheat. Not excusing it, but it is true. What pisses me off is that he is whack; a nerd, a lame-o. Yet somehow, he ends up with a smokin' hot wife that he, in my opinion, would never have gotten if he wasn't making Arab money. You would think he would count his blessings, right? WRONG! He then goes out and gets mistresses and cheats on them. And these chics aren't even high class- they are club girls and reality TV stars. I mean really, what did he think was going to happen?
Why am I mad? It's not because he cheated because that is none of my beeswax. I am pissed that he isn't even cool and had the gumption to play somebody! I remember a time when the corky guy was a safe bet. Now a little bit of money and some Ambian is a recipe to make the squarest boy the belle of the ball and I don't like it.
I guess there is nothing left to do but continue to watch this spiral. I definitely don't think his career is over. I mean, look at Coby Bryant. However, Coby didn't have nude photos that had fallen into the hands of Playgirl. I kind of want to see what Tiger is working with. A large winky is the only thing I can think of that had him thinking he could keep this mess under wraps.

Nuptial Nonscense

I thought I was through with Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, walking around with a wine glass in one hand and a cig in the other, bragging in front of her children about how she is dating a "legally married" man. I have even been beyond through with Lil' Kim, who, 'til this day, walks around talking about how much she was in love with her abuser, the infamous Biggy, and how he was going to commit to her...as if he was not married with children. I don't care if he did only know Faith for a second before he proposed. A ring outweighs a fling.
So being done 2x over, I did not think it was possible to be any...done-r, that is, until I heard about this drama with Alicia Keys, her not-so-divorced beau Swiss Beatz, and his not-so-ex wife Mashonda. Apparently, Keys has been talkin' to Swiss since before the divorce came into play and Mashonda, wanting to save her marriage ( and most likely a couple of Gs) tried to reach out to Keys and nip it in the bud before her marriage completely went south. Keys did not respond, but recently wrote a Tweet about love, which, coincidently, got Mashonda's attention.
According to my fellow bloggers, the Keys Tweet wrote: "Having a heated debate in the studio. [In] love is it better to [go] for the choice that is 'SMART,' or the choice that has 'SPARK?' "
This no doubt got 'Shonda's (I'm sure her close friends called her that in middle school, Shonda) coals 'a burnin'. She decided to respond to Keys in an open letter in which she stated, "My concern with AK is no longer the fact that she assisted in destroying a family but that she has the audacity to make these selfish comments about love and wanting to be with someone, even after knowing their situation. How is this the same Superwoman that I sang out loud with in my truck?"
Of course, Shonda had a lot more to say, but I have to agree with this particular passage. I, as a Keys fan who has no say in her personal affairs, am saddened by all of this. As asked best by Shonda, how is this the same Keys that writes toe-tappers about female empowerment? She is not like the two Kims mentioned earlier. She has class. This is just baffling.
Now I bet some of you all just want to charge this to the love game, but I must plead that you not even try it. I am not from the school of "The heart wants what the heart wants" because, for lack of a better word, it is bullshit. There is a rhyme and a reason and an order to the world, especially when it comes to sensitive topics such as adultery and dating married men. With this in mind, I am more from the school of "What someone will do with you, they will do to you." I am in no way wishing a broken heart on Keys, but I can tell from 'Diary' alone that she is well aware of this.
It is yet to be seen what will happen with Swiss and Keys, or SwissKeys if you will, because no one is talking from their camps. Probably because it is what it looks like, and there is nothing to say. In that case, keep your lips sealed. All I have to say is that I know love and its allure is strong, but building a respectable name and reputation for yourself takes years and can be diminished in a split second. Because of this and my moral beliefs, there is no way I can get caught up in someone else's nuptial nonsense.