Thirtigue

When I was in my 20s, I had a laundry list of symptoms comparable to those heard on a prescription pill commercial. I was moody, depressed, frantic, and hysterical. Jamaica helped me to see that I was suffering from 20pause, a type of menopause experienced by women in their 20s who are freaking out about their futures. Now, at 34, my friends are suffering from what I have coined as Thirtigue. The symptoms: anger, feelings of emptiness, loneliness, exhaustion, and hopelessness, all caused by pouring your all into a man, changing him for the better, then watching him leave you to go shine with someone else thanks to your hard work and patience. Sadly, by my age, women have experienced this so many times that their condition has become terminal.
"I'm done pouring my all into a man!" Tiffy exclaimed. She, Savannah and I were on a 3-way call, reminiscent of our middle school days. "I want a man that is move-in ready!"
Ah, a move-in ready man. A man that knows how to communicate. A man that loves The Lord. An employable man that isn't broke. A man not addicted to porn or Instamodels. An attentive man that can be sensitive but can also lay down the law. As Savannah and Tiffy continued to chat I envisioned a topless Michael B. Jordan, walking towards me with a bouquet of flowers and a box of Little Debbie Cakes. Then I wondered: for a man to be as amazing and seemingly flawless as Michael B. Jordan, can you imagine how many women he has sent into Thirtigue?!
Sadly, I don't think that there is a way to beat Thirtigue, short of dropping off the dating scene. It is in the hearts of women to be giving and to motivate. There is no woman alive who is going to get with a guy, see his potential, and not do anything to help him make it. Sadly, the hope is that you come across a man that has Thirtigued so many other sisters that he is pretty much "move-in ready" fo you. Messed up right?
In the meanwhile, you can try to protect yourself against Thirtigue. Remember that you can't change a man. Help him set goals but give him room to reach them himself. And try not to love too hard, as if that is possible.