Homecoming Post 8: No Socials and the Flashback (Part 3)

Saturday, November 5 around 3pm- Big Homie Sans and I arrived on Xavier's campus for the tailgate. Out of all of the events at homecoming, I would say that the tailgate is the most anticipated. There is music, food, drinks, and vendors. It's where you can catch up with people and you never know who you are going to run into.

"What's up?" No Socials said in passing, walking around Big Homie Sans and I, heading towards other tents. I stopped at the standing table at my graduating class tent and took a deep breath. It was clear why No Socials was giving me stomach aches. 

First Month of Freshman Year 2003

So at Xavier, the freshmen come to campus about a week before the upperclassmen for Freshman Orientation. That's when you move into the dorm, register for classes, get familiar with the city, etc. It is also when you get to know other kids and learn the ropes from Peer Deans. You are put in color groups. It's really fun! But in my opinion, you really don't get a full scope of what the culture of the school is like until the upperclassmen arrive. I definitely felt like a kid amongst adults, but not in a bad way. I was still pretty excited, getting to know new people. 

I actually met PUSH in the lunch line that first real week of class. He was tall and built. It was obvious that he was an athlete. He had a booming deep voice. Yet what was most interesting about him is that he looked like a famous actor at the time. 

"Do people tell you that you look like 👽?" I asked him. 

"All the time," he said nodding. I mean, the resemblance was so obvious that you would have thought that he was 👽from a distance. The very next day, he was loudly making fun of me with this friends at lunch and dinner. 

I was pretty disappointment by this. I had been made fun of since kindergarten. I had been looking forward to a fresh start, which is what it had been for that magical week. Eight days later, I found myself isolated, eating alone in a building called Xavier South at the other end of campus. It was sad because I liked catching up with my friends at the main cafeteria, but I didn't want trouble with PUSH. I only saw him in the cafeteria, so if I stayed clear of the cafeteria, I rationalized, I could stay clear of him. 

This plan worked for about a week. One day, I was sitting at Xavier South with my friends Sydney and Donna when I saw a basketball player walk in. He was one that I often saw with PUSH. When his eyes met mine, I knew there was gonna be some shit. He took out his phone, texted something, and about five minutes later, most of the team had popped up, including, of course, PUSH. 

The jig was up. I couldn't eat at the main cafeteria. I couldn't eat at Xavier South. I was going to have to ask my grandma to order me a box of Ramen Noodles so that I could eat them in my room alone. Living in an all-girls dorm, I could be sure that PUSH wouldn't show up there. 

PUSH and his teammates got their food and sat directly behind us. Immediately, PUSH began roasting me, talking about how huge and ugly I was. They were having a gay old time, laughing their asses off, and I was truly confused. I had been in college for a little less than three weeks! I didn't know these guys! 

I took a deep breath and turned around. I mean, PUSH was directly behind me. I think that he wanted to make sure that I heard him. I had to confront him. If life had taught me anything up until then, it was that bullies gonna bully if you don't at least attempt to stand up for yourself. This was going to be different though. I had never stood up to a guy that was like 6'4 with 2% body fat before. Even though I weighed more than him, I had no doubt that he could toss me across the floor like a napkin if he wanted to. 

"Did I say something to offend you?" I asked him in an overly professional tone. 

"Whoa!" he exclaimed moving back, as if the power of my weight had pushed him backwards. Then, on reflex, I poured my soda down his pants. 

He jumped up quickly, and I just knew he was going to punch me. 

"You're dead!!" he yelled, reaching for some napkins. 

The situation had obviously escalated, but I didn't notice or care. I felt completely vindicated, seeing the alarmed looks on his friends' faces. I was proud as a peacock, strutting out of that pathetic little eating area, loudly reciting the lyrics to "Wangsta". Even as the restaurant workers called the campus police, I felt like Muhammad Ali. Holly Clay: 1/ PUSH: 0. Boy, never underestimate how things can change in the course of a minute. 

In the midst of my victory lap back to my dorm, I turned around to make sure that PUSH was not behind me, for the basketball team was walking on the other side of the street, talking about what had just happened. I saw him getting into Bob the Builder's Dodge Charger and even from a distance, I could tell from his body language that he was PISSED! Like, violently so. 

Oh shit, I thought to myself, stopping in my tracks. The players on the other side of the street stopped too. Bob The Builder pulled his beautiful car up to the curb. PUSH jumped out of it with a basket of chicken fingers and fries, walked right up to me and smooshed the hot food in my face with the strength of ten men! "You look hungry you fat bitch!" he screamed down at me. I grabbed his white tall tee and he pulled it out of my grasp so quickly that it made my fingertips burn. Donna moved back, unwilling to soil her Polo sweater, and little 5-foot Sydney sprang into action, nipping at his heels like a possessed chihuahua. 

I don't think that I had ever been in shock before that moment. I could feel warm ketchup settling into my scalp, which is tragic, seeing that I had worked all summer to afford microbraids. As Sydney verbally went in on PUSH, I looked down on my clothes and couldn't believe my eyes. I was covered in food crumbs and sauce stains! Then I looked up, directly across the street, and saw a younger, goofier-looking No Socials laughing at me. They were all laughing at me. But it was like I could feel the vibrations from No Socials' voice from across the street he was laughing so hard. He was practically choking on his spit. 

That was 19 years ago. 

How had I forgotten he was there? I asked myself, watching him talking to someone at their tent. I had such a good time in college. Sometimes I forget that every moment wasn't great.