Whenever I get a call from Lady Chatsalot, I know that I am going to laugh my keister off. That, and get served a cup of piping hot tea! Lady Chatsalot is one of those girls that I knew in school, but we didn't get to really know each other until we graduated. She always has her finger on the pulse of what is going on with everything and everyone. And she is hilarious!
"Oh girl, guess who I saw at the club!" she said, shaking her head into her computer camera.
"Who?!" I asked.
"Alderado Avacado!"
I thought about it for a moment before jumping out of my skin. "Do you mean -----?!"
She nodded. "Yes, girl!"
"What was he doing at the club?"
"I don't know, but when I talked to him, he said that I would probably be seeing more of him out and about."
"Girl, shut up! Does that mean that he isn't with Splitz anymore?"
"I don't know."
In college, I was so far out of Alderado Avacado's league that I don't think he knew who I was! He was just so handsome and charming and very much with Splitz, one of those girls that is so hot that you know that even in her 80s she is going to be fine! I saw him at the 10-year reunion at the club. I looked up and he was right beside me and I said, "-----!" He looked down and smiled, that million-dollar pearly white smile. God! What a dream boat!
We must have talked him up, because at the tailgate, while I was chatting with someone, I noticed two of the girls at the tent freeze.
"What is going on?" I asked Sweets, one of my favorite girls from college.
"Girl, Alderado Avacado just passed by."
Again, I needed a minute. It is always weird to hear him referred to by his real name. "You mean -----?!"
She nodded with a smile. I mean, all the girls were crazy about this guy!
"I don't know if he is divorced, but he is always in Cutie's face," Savannah said a couple of days later when I brought it up. Hmmm. So he is divorced, right? Maybe?
Let's be clear, I have no chance of ever getting with Alderado Avacado if he's divorced. For me, he is kind of like the lottery: I have no intention of playing, but I will tune in to the news to see what the jackpot is. And let's be clear, he is a jackpot. During the drive back to Atlanta, I wondered what it must be like to be wanted like that and know it! The things I could do with that type of power! I definitely wouldn't be paying my own bills, that's for damn sure.
As for the status of Alderado Avacado, it is still a mystery, but the blood is in the water and the sharks are very much circlinng. But Splitz doesn't have to worry about me. I cain't swim.
1 comment:
This is absolutely hilarious! Love you!
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