You know that voice in your head that tells you that you can't do anything right? That you aren't good enough? That your ideas won't work before you even begin to iron them out? Well, Melissa Ambrosini refers to this naysayer voice as your inner "Mean Girl". Here, she gives us tips on how to get rid of it and get on the path to becoming our best selves.
Q: For most women, where do you believe that their inner Mean Girl voice comes from?
A: Fear has been hardwired into our operating system of modern society. From a young age we are lead down the path of fear maybe from our parents, teachers, the media or siblings. It doesn’t matter where it comes from, what matters is you return back to love.
Q: How can one differentiate their inner Mean Girl voice from just having regular anxieties and fears about things?
A: With everything in life their are only two choices: love or fear. ‘Regular anxieties and fears’ are not your natural state of being, your truth is love! Your natural state is love! Love is ultimately all there is, but like I mentioned above fear has been programmed into us from before birth and it’s our job to remember that love is our truth. So if anxieties and fears come up (and they will) it’s an opportunity to return back to your truth, which is love. It’s not your cue to beat yourself up, it’s your time to choose love over fear instead.
Q: How do you keep your Mean Girl in check on a day to day basis?
A: The best way to master your Mean Girl every day is by doing my 3-step mastering your Mean Girl process. Which goes like this:
- Practice awareness. Become aware of when your Mean Girl pops up and tells you that you’re not good enough, thin enough, smart enough, whatever enough. Most times we are so unconscious and not present that we aren’t even aware of her internal dialogue, so bringing your awareness to her words is the first step.
- Gently close the door on her. Once you are aware that she has popped up, you can now choose to gently close the door on her. It’s not about fighting her, or waging an inner battle — that’ll just cause more pain and suffering. Instead, it’s a gentle, grateful act that comes from a place of peace.
- Choose love instead. Once you have gently closed the door on her, choose to come back to your heart and choose love instead of fear. It’s so much more fulfilling when you do.
Q: What made you want to break the silence and write/speak about the issues that you and other women are having with their inner Mean Girl?
A: Because I have to help, teach, support and inspire. This is my birthright and what I came here to do.
Q: I believe that my Mean Girl prevents me from being as outgoing as I could be. How else can your Mean Girl voice take a toll on your life?
A: She can stop you from following your dreams with your career. She can also stop you from having the relationships and the health and wealth you truly desire in your life if you let her. Ultimately everything is a choice, our choice as we are creating our life moment by moment. You’re the one in the driver's seat, not your Mean Girl, and it’s time to stop letting her run the show.
Q: Outside of the book, what else is in the works for you?
A: To complement the book I have created the Mastering Your Mean Girl 10 Week Activation Program and Meditations to really help you cement everything you have read in the book. These will be released in the coming months so stay tuned, and in the meantime you can keep updating with all things Mastering Your Mean Girl here.
Q: Do you believe that men suffer from a Mean Boy voice? Are the effects the same?
A: Absolutely! Everyone has an ego, even the Dalai Lama. The difference is his is on mute and most people have theirs on volume 10 with a very heavy base. But that does not have to be your reality, you can choose love instead in any moment in any breath.
Q: How can we keep with you on social media?
