I wrote this live from the breast imaging waiting room:
The gown they gave me is musty. They don't let you wear deodorant to the appointment. I don't get a pretty pink gown. The ones in my size are gray. GRAY! I guess there is even size discrimination in the breast health community.
The scene in this waiting room is grim y'all. The Latina lady across from me looks like she is about to cry. I'd like to hug her, but she looks like she'd scream. This would be a great time to practice my stand up.
"So I'm here because they think they saw something in my left boob. Can you believe that? They think. Well I think when I get the bill for this sh$t, I'm throwing it in the trash!"
"I was recently ghosted by a guy who wanted our first date to be me coming to his apartment to chill. He said he wanted to watch TV. I guess there were some new episodes of '41, Single, and Dumb' coming on the Desperate Channel. Maybe I sent him mixed signals. When he asked me for a pic of my vag, I sent him a picture of a sad face emoji with a party hat on. "
"Hey sis over there giggling to yourself, you good? I'm not mad or anything. I wish I would have come here drunk too. Come on lady, sip and pass!"
I decide against doing my routine. Believe it or not, a breast imaging waiting area is the last place you want to make jokes. Nothing is funny.
