David was my friend Carina's first boyfriend in college. She met him through a friend on Bourbon Street. He had just crossed Sigma at Dillard and looked horrible but happy. The two hit it off immediately. By the end of the night, they were holding hands and had a whirlwind romance until he eventually dumped her for an AKA. Over the years, they have kept up with each other. Now, fresh into his second marriage, he hit Carina up to tell her that he was coming to her town and needed a ride from the airport. So, Carina agreed to pick him up. They went and had dinner, caught up, and then she dropped him off at the train station to take the train to his hotel. I wondered if two people who used to be in love could casually be together after years had passed without any funny business. I mean, wouldn't the connection still be there?
"He looked at me the same way that he did 20 years ago," she informed me. "He was smiling at me, and he smelled so good. But girl, I dropped him off at the train station and sent him on his merry way."
I didn't doubt that Carina was going to follow her moral compass. I mean, David is married...again. However, I feel that putting yourself in these situations can set the table for trouble. I was happy that he was at his conference and that it all seemed to be over after a Rated G dinner.
"Do you think he will try to see you before he leaves?" I asked.
"No, I doubt it," she said. For some reason, I had a feeling that he would, and I was proven right the same day when Carina let me know that he had invited her to a concert. She agreed to go.
She said that the concert was good, but that it was outdoors and people were drinking. David was one of these people, and he got a little tipsy. The performer on the stage was grinding on her female dancers, which got him all hot and bothered, and he began to get handsy. Carina politely shut it down. Afterwards, she took him to his hotel and headed back home. Again, there was no hanky-panky. She kept it cute and again, Rated G.
When she told me this story, I thought about the arguments around adultery. A popular one is that it is not the other woman's fault, it is the husband's fault. I mean, he is the one who made a vow to his wife. That didn't stop David from rubbing on Carina's knee during the concert. I think that is why this argument is null and void. Life has taught me some things. I, like many women, have made my mistakes. But this story illustrates what many women don't learn until they are either in it, older, married, or divorced: women need to always be thinking of other women. Carina said that she thought of how disappointed she would have been in herself if something would have happened. She also thought about how hurt his SECOND wife would be if something had gone down. She was thinking of her even when he wasn't. Just sayin'.
