For Whom The Bell Tolls

The theme for yesterday was death for 500, Alex. 

In the morning, I found out that my grandma's favorite and one of her few surviving cousins had died. Later in the day, I discovered that one of my beloved Xavier brothers had died. I also had a lengthy conversation with P about the afterlife. It was brutal. Brutal and heavy. 

As a Muslim, he feels like Christians don't think enough about the afterlife, while Muslims live with the afterlife at the forefront of their minds. I don't find this to be true, at least not at my church. There is plenty of talk about going to Heaven and the proper way to get there. This is especially troubling for me, seeing that I like to think about death and the journey after the way it was described to me as a child. We all have to die, but we die to go see Jesus, who lives in Heaven. Heaven is a beautiful place, and when you get there, you will get to see everyone who died before you. There was no talk of Hell, sin, or unbearable heat. There was only talk of a beautiful place to chill with your elders once your time is up. 

I prayed that both my grand-cousin and Xavier brother made it to Heaven. I am choosing to believe that they are now surrounded by the love of God and not oven-roasting to the soundtrack of eternal screams. The world, especially today, has a way of bombarding you with bad news and fears and disappointments and horrors. With that being said, is it so bad to want to believe that we all will one day be with God in an amazing paradise? How are we supposed to understand the stresses of the day while reconciling with the idea that we may also be going to Hell? How can we be present in the day if we are afraid of burning alive tomorrow?

I'm not sure, but according to P, we'd better figure it out because judgment starts at the moment of death. The very second our life ends, the trial starts. I cringe at the idea of having to explain to God why I have done some of the dumb stuff that I have done when there was a published book of His wishes available that I ignored. Yeah, I am going to stick with the Sunday school version of Heaven for myself and for the people I know who have passed on. I don't think I have the bandwidth to accept any of the other alternatives. 

Raisin' Hell

As part of my quarter-life crisis, I have taken a bigger initiative to strengthen my relationship with God, and can I say that it has been refreshing! I have always wanted to, but after being disappointed by my former church (for reasons best fit for another post) I decided to take a breaky-break from the church scene. But am I glad to be back! I like waking up on Sundays to be in the company of really kind people. But I am also getting better acquainted with God's word through the messages being taught, thus getting reacquainted with the idea of Hell.
Hell. Yikes. The one hot-spot that NO ONE wants to visit. I was talking to my buddy Waddles about it last night, and we both agreed that even though there are descriptions in The Bible and in literature, there is no way that the human mind can possibly fathom how HORRIBLE it must be. I can't stand Atlanta in July, so I think I better get my shit together soon before I spend eternity in a furnace.
Now I don't think that I am a bad person, but I'm no angel. A woman who sings at church asked the congregation what we do when we think that no one is looking. Good thing that was rhetorical! A couple of things I listed mentally I know for a fact is on God's no-no list.
Ugh, that damn no-no list! I have a lot of friends that chucked it long ago. Their thinking is that you only live once, so you might as well do what you want. And I agree...partially. It just seems that all the cool, freaky things I want to get into may not be on the list, but I am sure that JC and his daddy wouldn't think they are cool. Plus, isn't it stated somewhere in The Bible that thinking about sinning is just as bad as doing it? In that case, shouldn't you just do what you want since thinking about it will get you sent to the pits just as quickly?
So many questions and, according to my minister, so little time to get things straight. You are either good or you ain't. I guess the best thing I can do is be the best person I can be at all times and hope that God is impressed. Hopefully, he won't nickel and dime on the specifics.