After much deliberation, I have decided that I am over underwear.
To be honest, I have never been a fan. I mean, I sort of like bras, but that is because I need them. Kind of don't like I sort of like water, but I guzzle it, because I need it to live. Bras for me are a necessity, and after my quite recent experiment (which I blogged about) I have decided that bras are on the food, clothing, and shelter list. Undies not so much.
My history with panties has been a long and tangled drama. I have always hated shopping for them, usually because good ones in my size are EXPENSIVE and really pretty. I can never decide which ones I want. Because they are so pricey, I would usually wear them until my grandmother was requesting to use them as dish rags!
By high school, a certain
Sisqo chart topper had me experimenting with the thong. I stocked up on them because they were
sooo cheap, even in my size. However, my shirts were always rolling up, exposing them. I also found them to be irritating, and have since connected them to my bitchy teen mood swings. However, the thong and I didn't part ways until college, when a combination of the wrong size and a HOT New Orleans afternoon lead me to have to CUT the thong off. That was the last string.
So not too long ago I found out that they sell my size panties at
Wal-Mart- five in a pack for like ten bucks. What a deal, right? I started off with
boy shorts, which gave me flashbacks to the Great Thong Disaster of 2005, so I went on to granny panties which not only left me feeling
un-sexy but old and gross.
Since I was like five, I have wanted to break up with panties, but I couldn't. I would wake-up happy, thinking they had dumped me, only to find that my mom had tucked a pair under my
Carebear undershirt. They were like an ugly boyfriend that everyone wanted me to date because he was nice that I could not wait to ditch! Finally, at 25, after this uncomfortable,
suffocating, restraining boyfriend has been putting me through the motions for more than half my life, I am finally old enough to say enough is enough! Leaving only a few pairs in my closet(for technical purposes), I am giving my panties their walking papers. Maybe later in life, when things are less complicated in a better place and time, we will reunite. But for now, I am keeping my options open. Faithful readers, I invite you to do the same. Please, let me know how it goes!
