Joel Says Hi

With the cold weather comes loneliness, and with loneliness comes a short memory. This is the only reason I can think of that Joel would text me.
I may not have told you about Joel because I was so humiliated. And I have told you all some pretty humiliating things, so that should tell you how humiliating this was. To make a long story short he stood me up for a date we had, leaving me crying in front of the train station in a brand new maxi dress waiting on him to show. After an hour and a half of waiting for him and not being able to reach him, I just sat on the bench in front of the train station, crying, IN THE RAIN! And no, this isn't a scene from a bad romantic comedy. This was me last spring! I was embarrassed because I didn't pick up that he was a dirtbag when we first met. I was embarrassed because I waited so long on him when it was clear after five minutes that he wasn't coming, and I was embarrassed that, again, I found myself crying over something stupid that a guy did to me. On top of that, I looked hella, hella cute. So I felt like everyone that passed me could tell that the only reason why someone as day-date adorable as me was crying was because I had been ditched. Again, humiliating.
So, being the emotional eater that I am, I gathered my purse and my emotions and crossed the street to the pizza place where my date was to have taken place. There I ordered a pizza while trying not to cry in front of the cashier.
"Do you want a cupcake?" the cashier asked. I frowned. I am a cupcake fan, but the cupcakes behind the glass at that place looked funky. And by funky, I mean vegan. I told her no and was about to sit down and wait for my pizza when I remembered that there was a new cupcake place around the corner.
So, emotionally beaten in cheap, wet shoes, I made my way to the new hipster cupcake shop that offers free wifi and cool seating. I walked in to be greeted by the curious stares of couples which, of course, made me feel more like crap.
I ordered my cupcakes but couldn't find my debit card, which I knew I'd just had because I paid for my pizza. I just couldn't keep it together. I started sobbing as I frantically searched my purse, and I have to say, I had never seen so many people look so uncomfortable at once.
Once I got my cupcakes and pizza, I stood across from the train station, waiting on my Lyft. And can we just say thank God for Lyft and Uber! They have helped me to escape a lot of horrid situations that I otherwise would have had to sit through.
The Lyft pulled up in front of the train station instead of where I was. I didn't want to go back over there because it was embarrassing but I did, ready to go home. Just as I was about to open the door the community wine-o approaches me out of nowhere. She had on a dress that reminded me of Joseph's technicolor dream coat.
"Hey big mama!" she shouted in front of the train station. Everyone stopped to stare. "Let me get a piece of that pizza. I'm hungry!"
I sighed, moving as close to her as her funk would allow and whispered, "Ma'am, I was ditched for a date today."
She nodded and opened my Lyft door for me, allowing me to get in. And that, friends, is what makes this story fantastic.
I came home and shared my food with my aunt and brother and later confided in my brother what happened. He looked at me confused. I was confused too.
But not as confused as I was today when Joel texted me, talking about how he missed my face and voice. Boy bye.
You will be happy to know that I didn't respond. Let this story prepare you. If the cuff texts haven't come yet, they are coming. Stand strong, and remember why you don't talk to the person to begin with.

Stood Up

I got stood up tonight by a man who promised me via gchat that he would come over and shower me with Ciroc shots and cuddles.
I want to say that I am upset or ever surprised, but I am not. I am taking this time to bake chicken, watch some It's My Raye Raye tutorials, and read my newest Marie Claire. I'm not sure what you think, but I feel like this is a fun alternative to being slobbed down by a liar.
The icing on the cake: I found a black cherry yogurt in the refrigerator when I thought my yogurt was all gone. To have been stood up, I sure am winning!

Sins of the Mother

It would take too many posts to catch you up on the Sorta situation. I know, I know, I said that he was out of the picture posts ago and he should be. What can I say to defend my stupidity other than I like him?
We were supposed to meet up in New Orleans during my visit. He got the days off work and everything. We were supposed to chill. Long story short, he stood me up, claiming that he got sick after eating something on Canal Street. Two things: of course you got sick eating something on Canal Street and I'm not sure I believe him. I want to because he has been honest in the past, I think, and again, because I like him and the hassle of finding a new beau is just overwhelming!
Fast forward to yesterday. The doorbell rang and my mother ran to get the door. This is odd, seeing that my mom is 45 with the knees of Father Time and the back of a field hand. So yes, seeing her run up the stairs aroused my suspicions. Who was at the door? Why it was Al. Yay.
For lack of a better term, I call him my stepfather, for there really isn't a phrase to define a man who never married your mother yet fathered her other children while reigning Hell on your childhood. I'm being kind when I call him pathetic. But I will leave the treasure that is Al for another post. He is not the point of the story. The point of the story is how my mother runs to this negro, still, after years of him shitting on her and her children.
Watching this grotesque display got me to thinking about Sorta. How many times do I have to be slapped before I realize that I am being mistreated? My mom is still getting slapped. Brownie told me I deserve better. I agree. What happened to my mom that she didn't care to look for someone better? Did she just get tired like I am now? Whatever the case may be, the whole sight kicked some sense into me, because even though I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be my mother.