The past few summers that I have had have been generally unproductive, so now that I am part of a gym, I have decided to try to teach myself how to swim.
For the past two months, I have nearly drowned in three feet of water everyday, dipping my head in the water and losing my footing, or attempting to float and flipping myself backward. I have nearly choked to death on my own spit and chlorine, and at one point, actually thought I was going blind, for I had been in the pool for five hours and my vision was beginning to look cloudy.
I say all this to say that yesterday, I pretty much mastered doggy paddling under water. And yes, I can only do three quick strokes before I come up gasping and coughing for air, but it is a vast improvement from last week, not to mention a year ago. Unlike other overweight people, I did not stay from the pool due to body issues. I stayed from the pool because I have a legitimate fear of deep bodies of water. And forget the beach! Flesh-eating mammals live in that water. So every summer, I pretty much stayed in the house while all my friends skipped to the pool in their bikinis.
Needless to say, I have been proud of myself for how well I have been doing, and my progress has got me thinking about some other things I have wanted to do that I have been too scared to really consider. The biggest thing on this list is starting my own business.
Those who have known me since elementary school knows that I have always wanted to start my own magazine. I do not really know the steps I would take, but I think about it all the time. I even believe that I have the skill to make it work. Sadly, my fear of failing is even worse than my old fear of water.
Yet, the more I go to the pool, the more I see myself scribbling down ideas for issue topics and cover ideas. As I get closer and closer to achieving my summer goal, I feel that I already know what my fall goal is going to be.
And yes, it's scary. If this dream that I have harbored since my youth fails, I can't even imagine how devastated I will be. But how do you know what you can do until you try? What is the old saying: "Ain't nothin' to it but to do it?"
So do it I shall, with my breath held and my feet a kickin.'
But until it's time for this Fall goal to be put into action, you can find me in the L.A. Fitness pool. Today I shall master the backstroke...or at least attempt to.
1 comment:
I'd subscribe :)
And even if it doesn't (I pray that it does) go as you expect at first, I hope you keep pushing cause you owe it to yourself. No one reaches where they want to be overnight. If only it were that easy.
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