Recently, I got to figuratively sit at the feet of one of my favorite grios, TAFKAS. He may be the only person that I went to college with that has more stories than me, and you know how I love a good story! The best thing about his stories is that he hung out with a completely different group of people, so I often get an entertaining tale with an unintentional side of tea. In this particular conversation, he told me the story of 🍦, a tragedy concerning long-lost love.
It's funny that he mentioned 🍦 because he had come up in a conversation with LadyChatsAlot about a month ago! I suggested that they go out together since they are single and living in the same place. Honestly, that is the only connection you need when mixin' and minglin' in the HBCU graduate world. She's single. He's divorced. Sounds like a winner!
"Nah, 🍦only likes ghetto women," she said. Then she told me a whole lot of other things about🍦that are none of my business but that I sucked up like a daiquiri! These things were on my mind when TAFKAS went into his story about 🍦 but from a different perspective.
TAFKAS started by painting a picture of 🍦and his relationship with a girl named Chelle freshman year. I did not know her well. All I knew is that she had one of the most perfect butts I'd ever seen! I remember them being together, and I have also heard a hundred different variations of stories concerning why they ended. These things are not important. What is important is that 🍦still pines for this woman 20 years later.
"He works out so that Chelle can see how strong he is," TAFKAS said. "He has his job so that Chelle can see what a success he is. Everything he does is so that Chelle can see what she missed out on." Something about that statement sat on my chest and was pulling at my heartstrings that night as I scrolled through 🍦's social media feed. Every pic of him out with friends or exercising now seemed to have a double meaning. My old friend DZ had once told me that she never got over any of the men she had loved, and that they all had a place in her heart. I felt the same way, but I had no idea that men dealt with these same types of heartaches. Especially not men that I hear are as...social as 🍦 is.
Then this morning as I did my early morning meditation ( laying in my room in the midnight hour, grunting into the darkness), a thought flashed across my mind that caused me to sit up in horror! 🍦hasn't been with Chelle since he was 18 or 19 years old, and I have heard experts say that at our age, if you are single, you probably know or have already met the person you are supposed to be with. What if many of us blew it with our soulmates when we were too young to even know what was going on- when the clock had started without our permission? When we were too immature to invest or divest in our relationships? That would mean that many of us missed out on love before we were even aware that there was love to be missed! Now many of us are waiting on something that has already come and gone, or we are in something that should be with someone else. This is so sad and scary for me! What if our cosmic future does really rely on our early decisions from a time when we sucked at making decisions? If this true, we are all on a hamster wheel and for what? Kicks and giggles?
I pray that this is not true. If it is, my true love is a deceased gay man that was everything to me in my teens. If this is true for 🍦, his true love was not even his ex-wife, but a girl he fell for back when many of us thought that Nelly, Nelly, was the greatest rapper alive! Man, is age sobering or what?! And that is real talk, no country grammar.
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