Let's Not Get Physical

I turned 39 the other day and I was excited to go to the aquarium with Bells who is in town for the holidays. I used to make it a point to go to the aquarium annually because it is free for your birthday, but I had not been in a couple of years. Outside of seeing Bells, I was excited about seeing the big turtle. I found out that his name is Tank and I like to see him slow drag across the water. Then my aunty asked me, "Are you going to be able to do all that walking?" I was offended at first. I mean, I'm not handicapped! But just then I remembered: it is a sh&tload of walking! 

Child.

When I tell you that my back was screaming before I even made it to the ticket line! I mean let's be clear: I am in no way delusional about how out of shape I am. Recently, walking through my alma mater's campus for homecoming had me on life support! However, a few years ago I was able to walk the aquarium while taking occasional breaks. The other day, if I could have copped a squat every three steps I would have. 

"Do you need one of those things the old people use?" Bells asked me. 

YES! I screamed in my head. "No, I'm going to walk it," I said, confidently. There was no way I was going to spend my 39th birthday, my last year of youth, being wheeled around the aquarium. I regretted that decision almost immediately. Who needs pride when you have lower back pain? During one of the exhibits, a man wheeled an elderly woman I assume was his mother right up to the tank to see the fish. Wow, she's living the life, I thought. The only issue is that she was like 100 and I technically am not even middle-aged yet. Ridiculous. 

Yall, we were there for hours. At one point, I was willing to throw myself in the Beluga tank if it meant that I could get some rest. On top of being tired and in pain, my anxiety was beginning to crank up. There were misbehaving, screaming children coming out of the ceiling! I imagined myself having to elbow crawl myself through the overpriced gift shop out to the curb to catch my Lyft. 

That didn't happen though. Bells and I left the aquarium and sat outside for a while, people watching and talking. Over 5000 steps later, I was mentally patting myself on the back. I did it! My whole body felt broken, but I did it! When I got home, I collapsed on to the floor of my room for what felt like a second but for what ended up being more than an hour. I did it, but I was celebrating a victory that shouldn't have even been a thing! 2025, I've got to do better. Like, I have to. 

 

Friendly Fired

You know, as a kid thinking about what my life would be like as an adult, I didn't think that I would be on the eve of being 39 with friendship problems, but here I am. Earlier this year, it came to me that I had friends in my life that didn't like me. It just popped into my head, and I didn't know what to do with this information. I mean, what can you do with that information? Months later, I can tell you that one of my friendships is pretty much over and the other is on life support with little chance of survival. The way things are going, I may be sailing into middle age solo. 

As sad as I am to be going into the new year short some homies, I do have to say that I am proud of myself. I am taking this so well that even I am shocked! But as I have heard many a comedian say, the older you get the less you care. 20-something year old me would have taken to the bed in tears. I find myself too tired from life's stresses to have a reaction this go around. I just find myself shaking my head about the situation before rolling over to get more sleep. Let's hear it for growth! 

Just a thought: you know how they are always doing reboots of TV shows from back in the day? I think that they should do one of like The Babysitter's Club where our favorite childhood characters, now well into their 50s, have decided to stop talking to each other after begrudgingly deciding to sell their multimillion dollar babysitting app. Claudia and Mary Ann were over it and ready to sell. Kristy wanted them to sell and stay on as creative directors. Dawn was with what everyone else wanted to do and Jessie wanted to go global. Now no one is speaking. It's important to prepare kids for the future.