I have officially entered my emotional reflective lady years. Anything can make me cry now which is hilarious, because I am a naturally emotional person. Today's tear jerker came from reflecting on my grandma and Mommy.
My grandma was a sweet, petite, soft-spoken, prayerful women. Very feminine. Very kind. I always felt so loud and aggressive compared to her, and she was constantly trying to get me to lower my voice and put on a dress. As different as I thought we were when I was a kid, I see bits of her in me now. I always keep my purse near me. I keep stamps in my wallet. I write my name in every book I own as she used to do for me as a kid. I call folks to check in on them. I mostly only where dresses.
Me and my mom had disagreements what felt like my whole life. She could be a tough cookie. I was always getting my feelings hurt. These things are true, but we have same hands. Sometimes, I just sit and stare at them just to see her. Its wild.
Today, as my baby niece sat and played on her tablet on my bed, I wondered what traits she would have that she would one day say, "This came from my Aunty Holly." Maybe she will write people letters randomly. Maybe she will keep gummy bears in her purse. Perhaps she will journal. I promise you I will cry later at the thought that I won't be here to find out.
Late nights are for emo thoughts.
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