New Year, New Love?

It's a new year, and everyone has that all-too-familiar energy targeted at finding love. It happens every year, but I am finding that even my friends who had sworn off finding anyone are popping up with a new burst of optimism. If you want to find a partner, or at least a V-Day date, you have to put in the work (que the tight smile). My divorced friends are starting dating profiles, my friends who have experienced breakups are accepting lunch dates, and the single ones among us are leaving no stone unturned. 

I am sure that being old has something to do with it. Time hits different when you start getting text messages about helping to plan for your 20-year college reunion. Honestly, there is no way to avoid the pressure. When you are in your 20s, you want to find someone before you are the last man or woman standing. In your 30s, you either convince yourself that it is not important or that it is of the utmost importance. Either way, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. Now, in your 40s, the rush is back, either in a more frantic or relaxed way. You have to find someone or you will die, or you are happy to find someone, but you are keeping it cool, no rush. Something about the new year puts everybody in any group in a mood good enough to try again...or one last time. 

I would like to find someone myself, but so far, things are not looking too hot. That is okay. I am keeping my birthday state of mind and not letting it get me down. I am happy cheering on my friends from the sidelines. They are Googling speed dating events and asking friends about the availability of other single friends as we speak. 

If history has taught me anything, this fresh take on love has an expiration date, which spans from the week before to the week after Valentine's Day. Ugh, what a horrible holiday. It is during this time that people inevitably fall back into their pessimistic slumps. However, this year, unlike in years past, I will be pushing my loved ones over the line, not leading those in the line into a depression as I have proudly done in the past. This year is going to be different for the love-lookers out there, I can feel it. 

VDay the Hard Way

By the grace of God, I made it out of another Valentine's season alive. 

What a nightmare. What a f*&king nightmare, as most of life is for the terminally single. 

I made the mistake that I make every year, which is trying to combat the horrors of Valentine's Day with a positive attitude. Bad. Idea. There is no way to combat VDay! It's like a long, brutal period cramp. You just have to grit your teeth and get through it without losing it and ripping out your own uterus with your bare hands.  

The BS started as soon as I put on my Positive Patty Valentine's Day hat. I decided to organize a Galentine's Day/Gift Exchange to try to get ahead of the inevitable VDay depression. I was actually excited! The person I chose in the exchange is really nice and I was eager to get her something cute and festive. The Galentine's party turned out nice and everyone had a good time except me of course. As it usually goes with every gift exchange I have participated in since Girl Scouts, I was the only person that didn't get a gift. I guess no one picked my name or the person who did just didn't care. YAY! 

So the Galentine's celebration was all the proof needed that Valentine's Day was going to be a no-bueno situation. Yet I chose to power on, RSVPing to go to the single's mixer at my church. I wasn't going to go, but I had ordered these beautiful velvet heart earrings and as we all know, once earrings have been ordered, you have to go! And to my surprise, the event was beautiful. The single men at the church organized it and it was awesome. There was music and cocktails and food and entertainment. But who had a panic attack and had to go home before the party really got started? THIS GUY! I spent the rest of the night crying that good cry where your head hurts and you end up feeling hungry and like you are going to gag at the same time. I called Winfrey and sobbed in her ear until I was sure that I really was going to puke. It was the type of magical night that all girls dream of. 

Yet the finale was the actual Valentine's Day, as it always is. I found myself spending a large part of the day daydreaming about all the unrequited love I have experienced in my life while laying silently on the floor, staring into space. Ah, good times. 

An Aunty at my church challenged me to reflect on how I can make Valentine's Day a more positive experience. I told her the only thing I could honestly think of, which was taking enough sleeping pills to keep me asleep from February 11-February 16. She told me to pray about it🙄. And honestly, I do owe God a shoutout. Somehow, I was able to bypass all the engagement announcements and "look at what he got me" social media posts, and we can all agree that was a blessing. 

Well, until next year.

The Last Single VDay

Yet another Valentine's Day is coming up and I don't have a valentine. In all honesty, I haven't had a good V-Day since I was 19. At 19, I don't know what I would have said if someone would have told me that that would be my first and last Valentine's Day ever. How pathetic! This is truly the stuff that depressing romantic comedies are made of.
I guess the good news is that I am not alone this year. Even some of my smart, gorgeous, professional girlfriends will be spending February 14 with Mr. Netflix. And they are all saying that it's alright, that they are actually looking forward to a good, quiet evening alone. I'd believe them if they weren't saying this through clenched teeth and tears. Even my aunt asked me if she should send herself flowers to her job. I told her that that was a stern no, but I may take it back. Someone should get roses on the most romantic day of the year, even if said person has to mail them to herself.
You would have laughed at me if you would have seen me this weekend going to my writer's group. I was dressed as if I had a Valentine's Day date that very afternoon with Idris Elba! I mean, I looked gorgeous! But I wasn't being hot just to be hot: I was trying to get Ryan's attention. I got there too late to sit next to him, so I was literally trying to mentally and spiritually connect with him during the meeting. The prayers went over his head. He did, like everyone else, comment on how cute I looked. That made me smile for a second until I realized that his compliments did nothing to change my state of valentinelessness.
Why is this so hard? I'm not looking for love, just a free meal and a cheek kiss! For some reason, I want to blame social media.
Next year I will be 35 and I will have a V-Day date even if it kills me. If the past years are a prediction of the future, I better get my final affairs in order.

Celebrate Valentine's Day with Dana's Bakery

Flowers and candy can be so cliche! Get your beau these adorable (and tasty) macaroons from Dana's Bakery for Valentine's Day.  

Dana's Bakery Sweetheart Box, $12 (Box of 12 Macaroons)

DanasBakery.com

Dana's Bakery Love Box, $36 (Box of 12 Macaroons)

DanasBakery.com

Valentine's Day with Purity Vodka, Bruce Cost Ginger Ale, and Santa Margherita Sparkling Rosé

The Rosemary Hound

INGREDIENTS

2 Parts Purity Vodka

1 Part Simple Syrup

4 Tablespoons Fresh Rosemary Leaves

½ Part Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice

2 Slices Ruby Red Grapefruit, for Garnish

DIRECTIONS

Place the grapefruit juice, vodka and 1 ounce rosemary simple syrup in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well to mix. Serve on the rocks, garnished with a grapefruit slide.

Flor Adora 

Recipe Credit: Bruce Cost Ginger Ale

Ingredients 

• 0.75 oz lemon juice
• 0.75 oz Small Hand Foods raspberry gum syrup
• 1.5 oz Plymouth gin
• 4 oz Bruce Cost Ginger Ale Original

Directions

• Combine all ingredients in a glass with ice, garnish as desired

Rose Petal Rosé

INGREDIENTS

1 bottle of Santa Margherita Sparkling Rosé

Pink rose petals

DIRECTIONS

Pour glass of Santa Margherita Sparkling Rosé. Place a pink rose petal on top and serve.

Fun Valentine's Picks from Macy's

If you are anything like me, you have again waited until the last minute to purchase Valentine's Day gifts for your loved ones. Have no fear, Macy's has us covered with super cute and adorable gifts.

Valentine's Day Sips

Valentine's Day is right around the corner again, and many of you are going to stress yourselves out, looking for gifts for a loved one as you did last year. However, this year, your V-Day celebration can be just as simple as sharing a cocktail, made with SMIRNOFF Peppermint Twist, with your Valentine. See recipes below. 

 Pink Love Potion

Ingredients:

·         1 oz. Godiva Milk Chocolate Liqueur

·          1 oz. SMIRNOFF Peppermint Twist

·         1 oz. strawberry nectar

·         0.5 oz. milk

·         1 piece strawberry

In a shaker with ice, add Godiva Chocolate, SMIRNOFF Peppermint Twist, strawberry nectar and milk. Shake and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a strawberry.

Raspberry Kiss

Ingredients:

·         2 oz. Baileys Original Irish Cream Liqueur

·         1.5 oz. SMIRNOFF Peppermint Twist

·         Fresh raspberries

 Place 4 – 5 raspberries at the bottom of a rocks glass. Lightly muddle fruit. Fill glass with crushed ice. Pour Baileys and SMIRNOFF Peppermint Twist over ice. Garnish with remaining raspberries.

Peppermint Truffletini

Ingredients:

·         1 oz. Godiva Milk Chocolate Liqueur

·         0.5 oz. Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur

·         0.5 oz. SMIRNOFF Peppermint Twist

·         1 Godiva Milk Chocolate Truffle

 Add Godiva Milk Chocolate Liqueur, Godiva White Chocolate Liqueur and SMIRNOFF Peppermint Twist. Shake with ice and strain into a pre-chilled martini glass. Garnish with truffle.

Helen Ficalora Valentine's Day Picks

I don't know about you, but I don't have a Valentine's this year. It would be cool if I did, but I'm not bummed, seeing that I see every holiday as an opportunity to purchase something special for myself. Helen Ficalora has the cutest pieces that are perfect for Valentine's Day. Below is my Helen Ficalora Wish List. 

Baby Heart Studs, $250

Garnet Gemstone Stacking Ring, $250

Garnet Dangle Earrings, $475

Diamond Stacking Ring with Baby Heart, $250

 See what other goodies Helen has to offer. Click here.

Valentine's Day

So tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I don't really want to talk about it, but it's here, so I guess I should address it. Frankly, I have not really enjoyed this day since elementary school when it was required of everybody to give everybody a card and candy, even if they didn't like them.
I was just at the grocery store, watching people scramble to buy gifts. I don't see how they could have forgotten V-Day was coming, not with all those annoying commercials and emails. All that was left was the slim pickings, and let me tell you, nothing says "I Love You" better than those huge gross heart-shaped cookies saturated with frosting and deflating balloons.
Believe it or not, I am not bitter when it comes to Valentine's Day. Well, I used to be. This is true. But this year, I concentrated on showing love to my friends. I sent out cards and such. And I have to say, I do not feel pissed off and empty like I usually do this time of year.
And that's not to say that I wouldn't like spending the 14th in the company of a man. But I am happy and actually a little relieved about having dinner plans with my girl Erin. My heart also went pitter-pat when my friends called me with thank yous for their cards. Who knew I would reach a level of maturity where this day wasn't all about romance for me?