Last night I took the train home after going to this event for my job where I was laughed at by two high school girls for no reason. No. Reason.
I said nothing. Not just because I didn't know them and because they were kids, but because I was tired and didn't have the energy or the attire to whoop their asses adequately.
As I have shared with you, I have moved back to East Point, GA where I grew up from Douglasville, GA, a rural area. And I have found that my defenses are now down, you know, the ones I had built to be able to deal with the ignorance I consistently encountered growing up there.
While in college, I became very conscious and Afro-Centric. From freshman year on I have been essentially masterminding how to save the Black community. But yesterday, as I watched these two girls LAUGHING at me TO MY FACE I thought, What am I doing? I don't even like these people! And then, to the soundtrack of their cackling, I felt ashamed of myself. Embarrassed. Saying that I don't like them is like saying that I don't like myself. No matter what I do for a living, no matter where I live, or where I went to college, they are the stock from which I derived. I am the McDonald's worker with the bad hair weave and she, minus the manners, is me. Not sure if this is a good thing. Not sure if I like it. Just the truth.
Showing posts with label black people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label black people. Show all posts
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, May 25, 2009
Strong Black Crap
Today I went out for dinner with my cousins. This was an especially special dinner because my cousins are in college, and I only get to see them on their holiday breaks. Plus my older cousin Steph, who is like the Golden Cousin if that makes any sense, was in town from Alabama with her boyfriend.
Yes, the boyfriend.
I have to say that I was excited about meeting him because I hadn't before. I only knew that he and my cousin had been dating for two years and that whenever I talked to her, she talked about him, so I assumed it was serious.
Yet sadly, I have to admit that upon meeting him, I was annoyed. But not regular annoyed. It was like he annoyed my spirit before he even said hello.
He was one of those animated brothers; one of those guys that talks with his hands and uses his voice like he's doing a spoken word piece. Very theatrical. He is also one of those brothers who talk over you and changes the subject frequently, even though he may initiate the conversation. It was weird.
We got into this lovely neo-negro discussion about the "independent woman" theory and yes, it has now become a theory. He quoted the Lynch letter and jail statistics to back up his point on why men can not approach women; why they should be cut a break. He was just going on and on, straying further and further away from the point, wooing my other cousins by his ability to state facts and statistics when out of nowhere I thought to myself, "This must be the strong black man."
This was a joke to myself initially, but as he went on and on I began to think about it. His need to prove a point even though it's not on the point. Going on and on to make himself look better. It was not only infuriating and annoying and agitating and boring but it caused me to wonder, as a young Black woman that took on the "Strong Black Woman" title, is that the way that I come off to others? Like an obnoxious prick? Don't get me wrong, he's a nice, funny guy, but it's like he could not talk about even the simplest of topics without quoting books and studies. I feel that this is a characteristic, and a flaw, amongst young, black scholars. Seeing it come from a man and not my HBCU girlfriends was both, to say the least, clarifying and horrifying.
I also could not help but think about the role that the young black scholar plays in our communities. If this is the way that we talk to our other brothers and sisters that may not have had our education, no wonder the community has detached from the talented tenth: we are assholes.
I guess we just need to go back to layman's terms...if we can remember how to.
Yes, the boyfriend.
I have to say that I was excited about meeting him because I hadn't before. I only knew that he and my cousin had been dating for two years and that whenever I talked to her, she talked about him, so I assumed it was serious.
Yet sadly, I have to admit that upon meeting him, I was annoyed. But not regular annoyed. It was like he annoyed my spirit before he even said hello.
He was one of those animated brothers; one of those guys that talks with his hands and uses his voice like he's doing a spoken word piece. Very theatrical. He is also one of those brothers who talk over you and changes the subject frequently, even though he may initiate the conversation. It was weird.
We got into this lovely neo-negro discussion about the "independent woman" theory and yes, it has now become a theory. He quoted the Lynch letter and jail statistics to back up his point on why men can not approach women; why they should be cut a break. He was just going on and on, straying further and further away from the point, wooing my other cousins by his ability to state facts and statistics when out of nowhere I thought to myself, "This must be the strong black man."
This was a joke to myself initially, but as he went on and on I began to think about it. His need to prove a point even though it's not on the point. Going on and on to make himself look better. It was not only infuriating and annoying and agitating and boring but it caused me to wonder, as a young Black woman that took on the "Strong Black Woman" title, is that the way that I come off to others? Like an obnoxious prick? Don't get me wrong, he's a nice, funny guy, but it's like he could not talk about even the simplest of topics without quoting books and studies. I feel that this is a characteristic, and a flaw, amongst young, black scholars. Seeing it come from a man and not my HBCU girlfriends was both, to say the least, clarifying and horrifying.
I also could not help but think about the role that the young black scholar plays in our communities. If this is the way that we talk to our other brothers and sisters that may not have had our education, no wonder the community has detached from the talented tenth: we are assholes.
I guess we just need to go back to layman's terms...if we can remember how to.
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