The Question

Last night, I went to an ice cream social for Christian singles. I know, it shoulds hella lame, but it was actually a really good time with good people. I had some good lactaid ice cream and a fruit popsicle that was absolutely delish! But during the after ice cream conversation a question was posed to me: would I be okay if I never, ever got married? Would God be enough?
Perhaps I am immature in my Biblical studying and understanding, but the answer for me was a big fat no! Not only would I not be okay with it, but I would demand answers! How come I would be chosen to live a life of loneliness? How come other less cool chicks got a man while I got a rock? I would also request that God send me an HR sheet outlining how he came to his decision and what the criteria is for a woman that gets to have companionship.
"You wouldn't be alone," one of the ice cream socialists said. "You would have your friends and God."
Okay, got it. But how can they not see that that is different than having a tangible person next to you who loves you and that is going to live life with you; that knows you and cares for you? I like the idea of someone living life at my side.
They say that there is someone for everyone, but as I get older, I see that that is not true. I have dope lady friends in my life that aren't in a relationship and the possibility that they ever be in one continues to get slimmer with every passing day. And while they are waiting, their fertility window is closing, sending them into this weird, anxious panic and frustration. It's hurtful, and even more painful when you realize that there is a possibility that God just doesn't have a person for you. You don't get love. Billions of other people do on the planet, but you don't. For a woman in her 30s, the idea of eternal loneliness is very real, but it somehow becomes cruel when you add the possibility that God just doesn't want you to have anybody.
I am working on my relationship with God, but I also want a relationship with God, and I think that is fair and human. Hopefully He is in agreement. Time will tell.

Parental Advisory

So I guess my sister has a boyfriend. I found this out because she posted a million pictures, similar to this, on her Facebook page. She is 15, she needs a boyfriend like a hole in the head but whatever. What is it with these 90s babies and their desire to share EVERYTHING with the world? TMI, OMG, SMH, yuck!

A Curious REappearance

Last night I got a text from Curious I asked him what happened to him. I haven't heard from him in days! His response: he was asleep. So here I sit, feeling dumb that I freaked out over nothing.
Yet I don't know about that girlfriend/ boyfriend thing. With a clear head, free of images that he is dead, I stand by my original idea: that we cross that bridge after we actually hang out together. So let's keep hat gf/bf thing under our hats, shall we?

Strong Black Crap

Today I went out for dinner with my cousins. This was an especially special dinner because my cousins are in college, and I only get to see them on their holiday breaks. Plus my older cousin Steph, who is like the Golden Cousin if that makes any sense, was in town from Alabama with her boyfriend.
Yes, the boyfriend.
I have to say that I was excited about meeting him because I hadn't before. I only knew that he and my cousin had been dating for two years and that whenever I talked to her, she talked about him, so I assumed it was serious.
Yet sadly, I have to admit that upon meeting him, I was annoyed. But not regular annoyed. It was like he annoyed my spirit before he even said hello.
He was one of those animated brothers; one of those guys that talks with his hands and uses his voice like he's doing a spoken word piece. Very theatrical. He is also one of those brothers who talk over you and changes the subject frequently, even though he may initiate the conversation. It was weird.
We got into this lovely neo-negro discussion about the "independent woman" theory and yes, it has now become a theory. He quoted the Lynch letter and jail statistics to back up his point on why men can not approach women; why they should be cut a break. He was just going on and on, straying further and further away from the point, wooing my other cousins by his ability to state facts and statistics when out of nowhere I thought to myself, "This must be the strong black man."
This was a joke to myself initially, but as he went on and on I began to think about it. His need to prove a point even though it's not on the point. Going on and on to make himself look better. It was not only infuriating and annoying and agitating and boring but it caused me to wonder, as a young Black woman that took on the "Strong Black Woman" title, is that the way that I come off to others? Like an obnoxious prick? Don't get me wrong, he's a nice, funny guy, but it's like he could not talk about even the simplest of topics without quoting books and studies. I feel that this is a characteristic, and a flaw, amongst young, black scholars. Seeing it come from a man and not my HBCU girlfriends was both, to say the least, clarifying and horrifying.
I also could not help but think about the role that the young black scholar plays in our communities. If this is the way that we talk to our other brothers and sisters that may not have had our education, no wonder the community has detached from the talented tenth: we are assholes.
I guess we just need to go back to layman's terms...if we can remember how to.