Okay, okay, okay. I have a crush on yet another man. His name is Ryan. I met him at a writer's group. He is cute. He is kind. He is employed. He is 40. He is out of my league like you wouldn't believe. He is very much coffee and Miles Davis while I'm Snapple Apple and Boosie Badazz.
But as you know, he is not the first Ryan. There was, of course, Sickles, the physically and emotionally unavailable boy slut who gave painful massages and had a baby with a lady when I assumed we were dating. You know what they say about assumptions...
And who can forget Ryan from college? The man I fell for that I literally tried to FORCE to love me. I mean, I offered to cook him food, and, at the advice of my sweet yet misguided friends, even attempted to press my hair and wear heels. As I am sure you have guessed, it didn't work out.
New writer's group Ryan and I vibe pretty well. He thinks I'm funny. I think he has common sense. And with every conversation, I can feel myself sliding ever so beautifully further into the friend zone. God the friend zone. I have been there so many times. Let me tell you a secret: there are no friends there.
For 2019, let's make an agreement not to fall for any more unavailable men, okay? No more men in their late 30s dedicated to their rap careers. No more men who need to borrow $20 dollars to take their main chicks on dates. No more! We will be accountability partners.
Now, I hate to end this post short, but I have to go fantasize about being married to New Ryan now.
Showing posts with label friend zone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friend zone. Show all posts
Thursday, November 29, 2018
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Age Old Question
"Can boys and girls just be friends?"
This was the question that my friend Slim posed to me not too long ago. This question was surprising to me because I was pretty sure that everyone knew that they can not be. I have not seen a boy platonically approach a girl (unless he was gay) since kindergarten. It just doesn't work!
I say this from experience. No, no relationships have formed out of my boy-girl clusterfucks, but I have wanted them to. Unlike my good friend Slim poses, I did not seek out to become the gal pal of numerous tall, dark, and handsome brothas, hoping that they would want to be more than friends. Because of an incurable disease I have, I become friends with a man, he tells me his life, he's nice to me, and I fall in love.
And yes, my Slimesque friends, I acknowledge that this is my problem and not the guys'.
I asked a few girl friends how they felt about the situation, and it was clear that they were all jaded. Most of them sited examples of some of their relationships with "friends" where there is no hanky-panky. This is, of course, a joke, because in many of the cases, the boys in question have told me that they want more.
I guess that there is no problem with keeping a crush on a boy bud a secret. Crushes can be refreshing, especially in the spring when there are rainbows and birds are singing. But you will eventually want to say something, especially if the boy in the duo gets a not-so-platonic friend.
Listen, this type of situation is the WORST. Watching a person you love love someone else is a quick and easy way to get a case of the broken hearts and sadly, it is unavoidable. It has happened more times to me than I would like to admit.
So what does the friendgirl do in these situations? Well, I have found it productive to cry, while others grit their teeth and nod at the endless new girlfriend stories.
This is so confusing ya'll, seeing that all my life I have been told by female elders to become friends with a man before I get involved with him. But then, if he doesn't like me back, I have essentially set myself up for the fall.
Well, maybe there is hope. After all, I had a HUGE crush on my friend Slim...well, before I heard him having sex with a girl, which slapped me down to reality. Hopefully, this is not the way that the "I want to be more than friends" cycle is broken. Don't think I have the soul to go through that again.
This was the question that my friend Slim posed to me not too long ago. This question was surprising to me because I was pretty sure that everyone knew that they can not be. I have not seen a boy platonically approach a girl (unless he was gay) since kindergarten. It just doesn't work!
I say this from experience. No, no relationships have formed out of my boy-girl clusterfucks, but I have wanted them to. Unlike my good friend Slim poses, I did not seek out to become the gal pal of numerous tall, dark, and handsome brothas, hoping that they would want to be more than friends. Because of an incurable disease I have, I become friends with a man, he tells me his life, he's nice to me, and I fall in love.
And yes, my Slimesque friends, I acknowledge that this is my problem and not the guys'.
I asked a few girl friends how they felt about the situation, and it was clear that they were all jaded. Most of them sited examples of some of their relationships with "friends" where there is no hanky-panky. This is, of course, a joke, because in many of the cases, the boys in question have told me that they want more.
I guess that there is no problem with keeping a crush on a boy bud a secret. Crushes can be refreshing, especially in the spring when there are rainbows and birds are singing. But you will eventually want to say something, especially if the boy in the duo gets a not-so-platonic friend.
Listen, this type of situation is the WORST. Watching a person you love love someone else is a quick and easy way to get a case of the broken hearts and sadly, it is unavoidable. It has happened more times to me than I would like to admit.
So what does the friendgirl do in these situations? Well, I have found it productive to cry, while others grit their teeth and nod at the endless new girlfriend stories.
This is so confusing ya'll, seeing that all my life I have been told by female elders to become friends with a man before I get involved with him. But then, if he doesn't like me back, I have essentially set myself up for the fall.
Well, maybe there is hope. After all, I had a HUGE crush on my friend Slim...well, before I heard him having sex with a girl, which slapped me down to reality. Hopefully, this is not the way that the "I want to be more than friends" cycle is broken. Don't think I have the soul to go through that again.
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