The Mixed Signals of Male Responsibility

If I'm wrong, correct me, but wasn't it not that long ago that men were talking about how much they wanted an independent woman? Didn't Ne-Yo even make a song about it, "Miss Independent"? I swear it wasn't even 10 years ago when men pushed women into the world of going dutch on meals and half on rent. Men were literally saying that having any responsibility towards women was making their booties itch, and the word "provider" became up for interpretation. Boy have the tides changed!  Now, a growing community of men want a housewife who gives them full control over their lives. They now not only want to be your man, but your dad as well! This realization hit me like a bag of bricks during a conversation with Coffee. He discussed very eloquently how a woman's real value is in being a wife, and he would exercise full veto power over anything she may want to do. I mean, parts of the conversation were out-and-out jaw dropping and no, he wasn't kidding. He even said that he'd refuse to marry a woman who ever told him he couldn't tell her what to do. According to him, a woman with that attitude would rather be single. He even seems to hold great disdain for Miss Independent qualities like wanting to travel or have a say. I mean, what's going on??

The word on the curb is that the Boss Babe era is over and now the younger generation of women would rather be trad wives than CEOs. This may be true for some, but I suspect these things come in cycles. 10-20 years from now, those women will be complaining about feeling suffocated in the home, financially deprived, and wanting to get out and work. I guess it's a testimony to how well women fought for rights that today's younger girls don't even remember forced home life to the point that they want to return to it. Whoever said history repeats itself wasn't joking, but can we return to a time of gaucho pants and not to one of female suppression? 

P made a good point the other day: I'm old. He said hopefully, as the old women die off, the world can get back to a point of female obedience. I resent this idea that women have to be Stepford Wives for men to feel powerful, but that's where we are.  As the women's right to abortion has been revoked and our right to vote is now up for discussion, it saddens me to see women eagerly walk off the side of the cliff and siding with this extra toxic form of patriarchy. I guess I should be excited about this as a feminist. If feminism is about making your own choices than these young trad wives are making the choice to be incredibly dependent on a man independently. 

I MARCHED YA'LL!

I am sure that by now, many of you have heard about the women's marches that took place across the nation. Women and supporters for the cause marched across the the US on issues pertinent to our rights, and the turnout was AWESOME! I have to be honest: I was not going to go. I knew that there was a march taking place in DC, and there was no way that I could get there. Many of the women that I work with said that there was a march that was going to take place right here in Atlanta that they were going to attend, yet I still was not compelled to participate. I knew the weather was going to suck that weekend, and let's be real, I hate walking. But then my friend Tasia said that she was going and bringing a friend and asked if I wanted to come along. I said yes. I knew that Tasia wouldn't leave me downtown if I couldn't walk as fast as her. I was pissed about the threats that President Trump was making against reproductive rights, and I wanted to make a sign. Anyway, how many chances do you get to be a part of history?

The weatherman was right: the weather was pretty bad. It had rained earlier that morning and Tasia wanted to back out. I was so hyped about my super cute sign that I insisted that we still go, and I am so happy that I did. The energy was vibrant and pure and exciting. There weren't just women there- there were men and transpeople and children and LGBT supporters. I was also shocked at the number of senior women who showed up to walk. When I turn 80, I pray that I have half of their energy. Many of them stormed passed me on the walk to the capital. 

Because it rained and the walk started late, I was scared that the many people wouldn't show and that some that had come would leave. But that wasn't the case: once the walk got started it was on! There was singing and chanting and beats on a drum and even some crying. And yes, there was a pro-life activist that came who was yelling on a bullhorn with a sign, but nothing went down.

When we made it to the capital there was music and celebration and joy and of course, snipers on the roof of the building. Sadly, my camera is too bootleg for me to have gotten a good photo of them on the roof with guns. After the walk, Tasia and I were even interviewed by HERS Magazine on why we chose to march! I have to say, I am so glad that I went. It was an awesome day! 

But please believe me when I say that, after the walk, I paid for us to hitch a Lyft ride back to Tasia's car. I'm sorry, but this revolutionary was exhausted. Until the next march ya'll!