Bye-bye Boy Beus

Getting baptized was a huge event in my life. I made a decision to try to do better and be better. That included making a conscious decision not to lie or hurt people. I also tried to let go of some bad habits. One of these bad habits was spending time on Instagram being thirsty in a dehydrated fashion. 

After many nights of my friends dodging my phone calls or not finding anything good to watch on Netflix, I am sad to admit that I have fallen backwards into my favorite naughty pastime: profile stalking really hot men with dark skin and abs on social media. 

Cigarettes can be addictive. I know that firsthand from watching my mom kick the habit cold turkey. And alcohol is a nightmare too. A couple of my college friends have had to dry out from the bottle. But is there anything more addictive than tall, muscular, Black men on IG doing deadlifts in hoochie daddy workout shorts? It's like kitty nip to me! 

I shutter to think how many nights God has watched me under my blanket, scrolling through hunks until my thumb started to tingle. And let it just be known: I love them all. The physical trainers that meal prep grilled chicken breasts topless. The professional men that do tutorials on how to style a suit. The bearded brothas that lather their facial hair in Shea butter. The social justice hotties with wild locks and afros that wear tees with Africa on them. And who can forget the trap guys that do little videos from the front seats of their Dodge Chargers? I mean, the list go on and on!

After I got baptized, I stopped following a lot of these guys. It was for the best. I didn't see how I could be lusty and Godly at the same time. So, bidding adieu to the cuties was an act of good faith on my end. Then it seemed like as I got more stressed out about school and life and friends and work and whatever, I desired to look up the eye candy again. Somehow, I was able to refrain...until about 40 of them came up on my Explore page one day. That was all it took. Now I have moonwalked back down the rabbit hole of the fit and the sexy. It's a sad story. 

Now it is time to get back on the right track and ghost these guys. Even the sexy one with the beautiful smile that I tell myself I follow because he gives out great workout advice. Oh please. 

I will keep you posted on my progress. 

The End of Third Ryan

It is now fall. My lukewarm hot girl summer has come to an official end along with my pointless, going-nowhere crush on Third Ryan. You remember him? The nice guy from my writing group? Well, he has a crush on one of my good friends and that is simply a road I would rather not go down again. I've been going down it since the 6th grade afterall.

I am so, so tired of investing in the time needed to get to know men who aren't interested. I mean truly, I am exhausted. I could fall asleep right now while typing this post! And what I am even more tired of than that is the unhealthy way that I deal with unrequited love. I don't pray it away or dance it away like Solange. No. I transfer it away to another unavailable man like a loser. 

So, once Third Ryan casually proclaimed his love for my friend during a cute conversation that I had thought was otherwise going well, I decided to start the transference process. Sadly, I decided to transfer it to another man in writing group, Jack. Jack is annoying but hot. To even my own surprise I could not sustain the crush, so I transfered my now two-times-over RyanJack love to a man named MaxTheBody, a male bodybuilder that I found during a thirst search on Instagram. My crush on him will end soon enough, just like my crushes on that IG male dancer and the IG fetish trainer that makes adult movies with his wife. 

Not too long ago, someone asked me if I never found love, would God be enough. I originally said no, but I am parachuting towards 40 at a speed you won't believe. I don't think I have a choice! Hopefully God likes long hugs and slow dancing to 90s R&B. I have always wanted a boyfriend that could do a box step to Forever My Lady by Jodeci. 

The Thirst Hole

Hello, I'm TheBGInTheCity, and I am writing you from my 6th consecutive day of thirst. That's right, I'm thirsty.
Oh, the thirst of it all! Last Thursday night, I was alone and lonely surfing Instagram, when I innocently fell into what has become a Thirst Hole. While liking pictures of interiors and Christmas cookies, I came across a picture of a good looking man. I clicked on it, then went through his page and looked at all his pictures. I should have stopped there. The thirst didn't completely set in until I looked at some of his videos. The moment he started gyrating to a Jacquees song, my thirst switch flicked on, and I have not been able to turn it off since! Every day gets a little worse. The other night I actually stayed up until midnight to watch his Instagram Live, where other thirsty, sad women like myself watched a 27-year-old topless male stripper roll a blunt and play with his dreadlocks.
For those of you that have never been in a thirst hole, allow me to give you the honest, non-exaggerated symptoms: increased libido, lack of sleep, vivid dreams.
I have taken small solace in not being one of the thirstbots that actually comments during the videos. You know, with water splash and heart-eyed emojis? These ladies are relentless. Some of them are hella out of order, asking for penis pics and kisses. Some even send him DMs of their vaginas. I know this because he thanks the ladies for the pics before he ends every video.
Guys, this guy is such a hunk. He is young, he has a sexy accent, he has muscles, he is tall, and he is LOADED with tattoos. And no, this is not the guy that I usually would go for, at all. But he has a certain something. He always seems so happy, grinding on the chairs around his house. Which is a pick-me-up for me, seeing that I always get sad during the holidays.
All and all, I think we all knew that I would end up here. Hopefully, I will get out of my hole soon and re-enter the real world where a have a chance, although slim, of finding a real man.