The Weightloss Post

Me and my trainer broke up.
It was mutual.
I asked her to start training me because she always works out and because she is a girl and my friend and I thought it would be a good fit. Wrong. As you probably have already figured out, it was me, not her.
We only worked out once, and the plan was to work out together once a week and then I work out the other two days on my own. She wrote me out a workout plan and everything. I was pretty stoked.
Then the storm came and I missed my second session. And yes, I am blaming the storm even though I didn't do my by myself exercises before it even came.
By my next session with my trainer, I hadn't worked out since my last session, which was two weeks before, and I also hadn't been chronicling what I was eating. I just totally failed.
So I had to have a heart to heart with my trainer who was doing me an enormo favor by even being willing to help me. I told her I was sad over this loss that I experienced and that I hadn't been doing anything that she'd asked and that I appreciated her but it wasn't her, it was me, and for real, it was me.
She then told me that she was planning to chat with me because she had a work thing that would be happening during our workout days and she wanted to know how we could possibly reschedule.
We walked away, promising to follow-up, like people in a breakup promise to stay friends. The only thing is that she still is my friend.
I am so mad at myself. It's like, I have no motivation. I'm so sad about the state of my weight and what it will take to get it off to do anything about it. It's just overwhelming.
But I have to get serious. The person that I lost in my life had heart issues, and that's something I don't want. I don't want to die.
Fingers crossed that I can see the light and get another trainer that won't end up having to dump me. This time next year, I want to be one of those annoying people on IG that takes selfies of their stomach and preps their food for the week.