AB Conversation

A: Why don't you talk about Marcus anymore? Is he dating someone or something?
B: I talk about Marcus all the time.
A: Yeah...when he's not talking to anyone.
B: Why do you do this to yourself?
A: Cut the crap. Is he still talking to Maya from Mexico?
B: Don't be an asshole and yes, he is still taking to Kenya from Paris.
A: Kenya from Paris. How obnoxious.
B: Would it be different if he was talking to Georgia from Florida? You just don't want to hear about him with other people which is fine. I just don't get why you keep asking about it if it makes you mad.
A: Because I have to know.
B: You don't have to know.
A: Yes, I have to know like I have to eat or I have to pee. I have tried not having to know, and it has made me crazy. You remember the garage weekend.
B: The garage weekend. When you broke into his garage and slept in his tool case so you could try to hear what was going on in the house?
A: Hearing that gives me chills. Of course I wouldn't be able to hear what was going on in his house if I was buried in a tool chest. The worst part was that I couldn't get in the house to pee or to eat until he was gone and he only left at night. It was a nightmare.
B: You need help.
A: I needed to know who he was talking to, and you wouldn't tell me. Do you see what I had to resort to?
B: Well yes, he is still with Kenya, so no need to tap his phone calls or take naps in his car trunk.
A: Like I could fit in the trunk of a MX-5 Miata. I've thought about it though.
B: You need help. You are crazy, and not in a cute way.
A: Agreed. But he made me this way.

Terlinda came to town!! She drove to Atlanta for ten hours for a conference.She got sick yesterday, but Friday, we got to have breakfast together at the Waffle House and laughed and laughed about college. Favorite memory: the HIV education man from our Freshman Orientation class that forcefully diagnosed us all with HIV before leaving us scared and confused.

P and the Fiance

P has a fiance.
She is a Muslim young lady that he's met.
I am pretty positive that he is going to marry her...soon!
I never hear from Brownie or Quinton anymore. Kinfolk and Amber are a package deal. P is my last standing male friend, and in about six months when he gets hitched, I won't have any male friends left.
This is going to be hard for me.
It is obvious that he is very much in love with this girl by the way that he speaks about her. And it's not that once he is married that we will officially not have a chance. That has been clear for years. It's that once he gets married, I will lose one of my closest male friends ever, and I don't know if I will be able to bounce back from it.
Yes, P can be a dick and has hurt me in the past, but I speak to him on the phone more than any of my other friends. He calls and checks in with me and tells me about his life. I will miss that.
I can't take another heartbreak. Eyeroll.

Holly and the Old Man

For about three days, I have been having a text convo with the older man who wrote his number on my hand. He is sweet. He said I was gorgeous (smiles). He hasn't sent me any inappropriate pics of himself, and he hasn't mentioned sex once. When I text him, he texts me right back. I don't have to wait hours for a response. He goes to bed early (fantastic!) and he has a job. He may be perfect for me, except we haven't had a real telephone conversation and his texts are kind of general. There isn't any beef, even though I know he is interested. Do I have to provide the beef because I am younger? This may be a problem, because I'm lazy, lol. I want to know more about him, but I am comfortable at this pace as well. It buys me time from doing something stupid, and it is refreshing just texting a man and not getting something gross in return. I think I will just marinate in this for a while, although my dad thinks its gross. If this guy is as old as I think he is, he is older than my dad! Interesting...

Daddy Love

For the past month, my father has been making himself more present in my life. We IM each other and do video chats. He's funny to me. He is easy to talk to, even though most of the time, I don't know what he is talking about. He is full of older Black man opinions that make me roll my eyes, and he's a bit of a nerd. I absolutely adore him. Sure, I don't know him really, really well, but he is nothing like my mom's boyfriend, the guy that I grew up with as a dad stand in. Again, I don't know him super well, but my life feels fuller knowing him. I wonder what I would be like today if he would have been more present in my formative years. Would I not seek male attention, or would I just have a whole different set of man issues. LOL, who knows? Yes, he can be annoying, but I am happy he is making himself more available.

Hand Number

Last night, on my way back from a party, a 50 something year old man wrote his phone number on my hand. His name is Teddy. He stressed that he was off work today and wanted to talk to me. He was nice. He was respectful. He wasn't bad looking. Listening to his conversation on the train, his kids aren't that much younger than me, so it wouldn't be creepy to talk to him. But quite honestly, although I' lonely, I need a man in my life like a hole in my foot. I'm an emotional basket case under an emense amount of stress. I can only see having a man, even casually in my life, contributing to me being more unstable. Maybe I will text him. I will let you know.

Man

Yesterday I met a man at a party. Nothing romantic. He was there with his girlfriend. We were chatting. And he dropped some pretty profound knowledge on me. So talking to this man yesterday, I realized I was talking to a man. Then I realized that I don't know men for real men. It was an oddly sad and happy moment.