The Reality of Ghosting

Just in case you were wondering, yes, I have been watching the new season of Love Is Blind on Netflix. I know that I had decided not to watch it again, yet here I am, just as hooked on this train wreck as everyone else. This go-round, due to recent incidents in my own life, I am finding that I am personally triggered by the amount of ghosting going on. One of the girls in the pods just decided to go home, not even discussing her leaving with the guy that she had a connection with. She left him hanging, saying that it was just "easier" to leave! Then, after an accepted proposal and meeting, one of the contestants said that she didn't want to move forward with the process. This was happening as her "fiancé" was going on and on about how beautiful and amazing she was. Production had to tell him that she had gone home, and when he asked if he could reach out to her, they also had to tell him that she didn't want to be reached out to and asked that they not give him her information. He just sat there looking confused...and stupid. 

In the past, I have discussed how annoyed I am by cowardice, and I am just shocked at how normalized it has become. Whatever happened to the much-dreaded but very necessary hard conversation? I am here to tell you folks that it has left the building, along with any sense of adulthood and responsibility when it comes to handling another person's feelings. It seems that, across the board in dating, people have just become very comfortable with this idea that they don't owe anyone anything, even people that they have been in partnership with. Apparently, ghosting is not seen as a cowardly custard thing to do, which it is, but has somehow been painted as a way to protect the ghoster's mental health and peace from the horrors of having to boss up and provide explanation and closure. This leaves a person feeling played and deserted and left with hard feelings and unanswered questions, while the ghoster gets to skip off into the sunset and act like nothing has happened. 

I, for one, am sick of this attitude and way of conducting business. I believe that romantic relationships aren't just about sex and date nights. If things go south, if you decide that something is not working, it is incumbent upon you to express that and put a bow on what was at one point a good relationship before you skip off into the sunset. I just feel that it is cruel that people do not do this and are okay with leaving a person they once cared about with anger and baggage. This level of self-absorption should not be legal! 

But it is. There are no relationship cops out here handing out citations and making arrests, and I am not afraid to say that I think there should be. Maybe if people had to pay up or do some time, they would find a way to handle adult matters like adults. I know that if this were a real thing, I would have a lot of much-deserved money coming my way. Okay, I am getting off my soapbox.