The Sickness of Youth

Do you suffer from feelings of hopelessness, a lack of drive and bouts of Depression? Are you consistently tired? Do you find yourself crying as a solution to the irrelevant of issues? Are your easily agitated and annoyed? Do you find yourself wanting to be alone all the time? Do you often feel sluggish? If you recognize these symptoms, you could be in your 20s...or suffering from PMDD.
When I was a kid, I used to calculate how many years it would be before I was twenty-one. That was my ideal age in the second grade. At twenty-one I would have a boyfriend, a big, pretty apartment, a fancy car and a really cool job. Now, at twenty-four, the only boyfriend I've ever had is gay, I live at home in a small room with no windows and I do not know how to drive. However, my job is kind of cool.
I don't know who to be mad at, society or myself; society for leading me to believe that my 20s would be the best years of my life or myself for buying into the hype.
On television shows, women in their twenties are CEOs and have wild romances; they wear Jimmy Choos and have front row seats during fashion week. There is no way that I can identify with this lifestyle. If I had to define being in my 20s, I would define it by this panging, constant feeling of urgency; by this deep need to "make it" already. I feel like the memories of my early 20s are dominated by searching for jobs and planning for graduate school more than having carefree fun in the sun. I do not know what the next half of my 20s has in store for me, but I have to say, this half sort of sucks.