Untitled: The Untold Story

Yes, Miss Independent. Can we all just stand up and give her a round of applause? She is this generation's answer to the feminist. She pays her own bills. She has a good paying job. She will probably own her own home before she's thirty, and is making the type financial investments that her grandmother would have never imagined to ever do on her own. I mean I guess I'll just say it. She's the shit. Come on, I know that you were thinking it.

Yet Miss Independent's biggest accomplishment is the creation of the "titleless" relationship. You see, after a long day reading legal briefs, Miss Independent, or Indi as I like to call her, has no time for the strain of relationships to the point that dating has been boiled down to texting her regular for ass after work. And this is great. I mean, how many years were women not able to take control of their bodies and sex lives? I say here-here Indi. I mean, Indi has the put the ball in the female's court. The whole thing would be beautiful...if it weren't a disaster.

This whole idea of having relationships without calling it one is great if you never want to be in a committed relationship; if you never want to get married. Basically, these titleless jobs are screwing us all in the game. Without a title, without acknowledgment of being the girlfriend, there is no need for courtship. No dinner. No movies. Not even the ever-so-missed late night hour phone call to the soundtrack of a Pretty Ricky album. Everything revolves around no strings attached sex. And if you do go out, you are picking up the tab. You are Miss Independent after all.

Call me Madame Cleo because I can see ever so clearly into my crystal ball. By giving our milk away for free and sometimes at our own expense, we have flushed any responsibility of men to work for our 'ginas down the toilets. It has gotten to the point that if you try to hold out as grandma told us we should, we will get left behind, passed over for the next Indi who is ready and willing to pick up a booty relationship to fit into her schedule. We have created a trend of "no commitment needed" dating that men have fallen into quickly and comfortably that will take us more time to break than it did to begin. It's like we were just listening to our Jay-Jays for the here and now and not the long hall. What man will commit to us in our thirties when there is a younger woman with a tighter body that wants to have the fun that was once our rule of thumb?

This week I talked to two of my male friends that told me that they never want to get married. They want to be bachelors forever like Peter Pan, having all the childlike fun they want well into their 90s and picking up the occasional Indie to fulfill their needs. One of these friends, Hal, said that this is the route he's taking because he can't find a girl who wants things 50/50. This is a total example of the aftermath of Indi. Is it just me, or aren't men supposed to one day grow to be providers? I mean, isn't that the rule of the land? Well... maybe it was before pussy became easier to get than gas.

Of course, most of my single girlfriends play the Indi game. Well, at least they think that they are. They like the come and go routine until they realize that the relationship is not progressing. Notice I say relationship because, although we hate to admit it, girls are not programmed to stick it and quit it. Unless its a one-night stand type of thing, women, including Indies, are prone to label something when it includes an exchange of body fluids. So the Indi, even though she created the guidelines for the titleless relationship, finds herself alone at the end when the guy is scared off by her sudden need to label whatever it is they had where she was doing most of the emotional and physical giving.

My friend Quinton says that I don't understand the whole titleless phenom because I don't have sex. If I did, according to Quinton, I'd understand the need to give up the "girlfriend" nameplate for the unlimited amount of sex that comes with being titleless. You can either demand a title and end up alone or don't demand one and at least get screwed.

Sadly, I feel that this is the mindset of a lot of sisters. You don't want to be alone, but you don't have the time for a relationship or can't find anyone suitable, so why not settle so you can at least be someones nothing sometimes? Again, our grandmothers called this giving the milk away for free. And sadly, if us Indies don't wake up and smell the coffee, we will find ourselves sad in our 30s and 40s with empty milk jugs, wishing that we would have asked a little bit more of men...and of ourselves.