I know that this is going to seem weird, but I feel like my dreams have been more vivid ever since I saw Inception. Unfortunately, they have been about he who shall not be named.
As I informed you recently, Facebook informed me that he is now in a relationship. So last night I dreamed, clear as day, that he sent me a text telling me that he was, in fact, in a relationship with some girl and was sad that he couldn't talk to me about it- that he missed me as a friend and blah, blah, blah.
I woke up feeling good for a split second before I realized that it was all a dream. I looked through my texts. No message. Not that he could send me one anyway. I put his number on my reject list, yet I can't think of anyone else that I am more eager to hear from.
Can I just say that I am so embarrassed that my thinking and my emotions and my life and my everything is being so affected by not only a boy I was never in a relationship with, but by a boy that so clearly and evidently doesn't give a shit!
I remember being half as broken up as I am now my freshman year of high school when my gay boyfriend came out of the closet and dropped me. Although traumatic, I can laugh at it now. I wish I could go back to 1999 and ask that Holly, the Holly that had cornrows and listened to Korn, how I got over it. Maybe I am just too far gone, but I can't envision me laughing about P. But on the bright side, at least he is still my friend in my dreams.
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