Let's go back to fall of 2003. My grandma, mom, aunt, and I stood to the side as one Lauchland Roberts carried my stuff to my dorm room at Katherine Drexel Hall. I was openly ogling this man as he, and this is not an exaggeration, carried my mini fridge to my room with one hand. He had pretty dark skin and had an earring in his ear. A boy with an earring. That was very hot to an 18-year-old me. Today, I see a young man with an earring in his ear and I clutch my purse and cross the street.
After everything was moved in my grandma summoned me outside to speak to me privately. She had been getting on to me all day because I'd had an attitude all day. I figured she was going to say something to me for staring at Lauchland. And she did...sort of.
"I saw you staring at that boy."
I said nothing.
"You know, most people find who they are going to marry in college," she continued. I squirmed, nervous that my ultra-conservative grandmother was going to say something about sex or condoms. "So, get your work done, but be aware."
"Aware?" Was she trying to tell me to marry Lauchland? I'd only known him for twenty minutes, but done! I mean, he had an earring!
My grandmother, who was nothing if not prepared, knew I would need a little help getting the attention of these potential suitors. So, she let me know that she had packed me a Ziplock bag of foam rollers and some Blue Magic Hair Grease in my trunk. Seeing that I had micro braids at the time, I had no intention of using those old-school rollers or that hair grease. But I smiled and nodded. Not for nothing, I would later serve on a homecoming committee for Lauchland's girlfriend at the time who happened to be Ms. Xavier. I used to wonder if she rolled her hair and if that was how she got Lauchland's attention. Maybe, maybe not. But she's married now and I'm not. Draw your own conclusions.
Obviously, I didn't take my grandma's advice which was why I had anxiety about attending homecoming. I was afraid that I was going to be the only person there that was single. Social media had led me to believe that everyone from my class was hitched with kids, living The Cosby Show life. However, upon arriving at school, I realized that ten years after graduation, life for many of us gals is less like The Cosby Show and more like Living Single.
All my single friends at homecoming looked amazing. They are all a lot of fun and have cool jobs. They look really cute in dresses and they smell really good. They like to dance and they travel the world. These are the super dope girls! It baffles me as to why they are single. They are babes! Bosses! And they all seem to be enjoying the frick out of life.
It wasn't until I hung out with these girls, twerking on the stage barefoot at The Masquerade, that I realized that being single isn't scary, but the rate that time is flying is. Ten years have felt like ten minutes! It could have easily have been junior year! I don't want to take a nap, wake up ten more years from now, and be in the same romantic situation. If I understood the concept of time when I was 18, I would have done as grandma suggested, I would have been more "aware". Who knows? Maybe I could have snagged one of those hot nerds from the engineering department.
Here in Atlanta, so many of the single women in my life are taking active steps to no longer be single. They are exercising because men like fit women. They are repairing their credit because men don't want a broke woman. They are going to shrinks to work out their childhood stuff because men don't like angry women. For me, all this legwork sounds exhausting, and I haven't seen proof that it works. The most I am willing to do at this point in my life is put my hair up in some foam rollers.
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