Church 2: Church Men

I am a negative person. I have learned to accept this about myself. And I am not ashamed to say that I thought that there was some funny business going on when I walked into the church and seemed to be genuinely greeted warmly by men. They gave me hugs, but I made sure my shoulders were stiff. They asked me my name and I responded with a grunt. One young man walked me and my friend to her car, and I politely said thank you, while mentally trying to iron out how I could elbow him in the neck if he perchance attempted to rob us. What can I say? I'm bitter. 

But in my defense, men have never put there best foot forward with me. As a kid, boys made fun of me. In college, they ignored me which, believe it or not, is worst than getting made fun of. And as an adult, they have tried to use me! Luckily I had nothing or these dudes would have taken me to the cleaners! On top of this, I am harboring some heavy resentment towards my uncle cursing me out after my grandmother's funeral while my other uncle and brothers said nothing. And you mean to tell me while I have been holding on to all of this heavy, designer knockoff baggage, there were men at church willing to walk me to the car?! Get out of here!

I have been going to this church for almost two months now, and low and behold, the men are still kind to me. I have positioned myself mentally in a space of observation as to be prepared when the true colors start showing. I fully expect to walk in on these men laughing about how fat my ankles are or plotting on how to best ask me out just to stand me up. I have grown to be so fond of these clean-spirited men that I am hoping this won't be the case. However, my experiences tell me that it most likely is, so on the defensive I stand. Better safe than sorry. Amen.