The Customer Theory

Yesterday, I went out on a coffee date with a Black Republican. He has a lot of interesting views, many of which I don't share. However, he did discuss something with me that I think deserves some unpacking. I'm referring to it as "The Customer Theory". 

Let's call this man Coffee. Coffee said that, once upon a time, he was striking out with women. So, he researched what women want and took steps to become that. He refers to this process as "understanding the customer". He found that female customers didn't like lanky guys, so he gained weight. They liked professionally dressed men, so he changed his look. He basically changed himself to be what women want, now he has better lucky with ladies. He then challenged me, and women in general, to understand who their customer is and make changes. 

I think I have always understood this without giving it a name. The issue is that I felt that things my customers wanted I couldn't achieve. I couldn't be petite. I couldn't temper my opinions. So, I guess somewhere a long the line, I gave up on pleasing my customer because doing so was over my pay grade. How was I going to become Beyonce over my? Yet, at my big age, this something I'm willing to revisit. Maybe there are small things I can do to present myself as more of a contender. But I'm not dying my hair blonde or something. That would be stupid. 

Small Love

At the beginning of the month, I had a doctor's appointment and ordered a rideshare to take me home. The driver was this sweet African man that didn't flip out because I was drinking cocoa out of a cup with no lid. Upon talking to him, I learned that he was 30, had just come to America two years ago, and was the youngest of a whole bunch of siblings. I asked him if he was having fun on the Atlanta dating scene and of course, I asked this sarcastically, and he said no. He said he met women but they weren't interested in him because he is 5'3. 

Here we go again. My heart went out to him. Being a short man is like the female version of being fat. People discredit you as a potential partner on sight. I have shared that, as I have gotten older, I realize how trivial it is to cancel out opportunities with men based on appearances. Sadly, I don't think that many of my friends, who are free-falling towards 40 just like me, are moving towards accepting men's differences like I am. Many of them want the 6'4 chocolate man they have wanted since they first saw Tyrese in that Coca-Cola commercial. But every man is not Tyrese just like every woman is not Beyonce. Honestly, I don't care how tall a man is anymore as long as he is nice to me and has a job. 

Loneliness is real, especially during the holidays. And again, my heart went out to this cute but small young man with long, pretty eyelashes. I kind of wanted to ask him out myself. 

But I didn't. Not that I'm not open to little love, but I didn't get vibes that he was interested. I'm done chasing after guys that don't want me. I wouldn't mind seeing him again though. He was funny. Perhaps he will be next rideshare driver. Who knows? It's a small world. 

Introducing Burkinabaé

Many of us became familiar with Burkinabaé when Beyoncé and Mama Tina were caught in their "Rosa Morina" and "Crystal- EYEZED" eyewear. The L.A.-based brand was also featured this month on Fashion Bomb Daily. The brand's heavily and brilliantly ornamented accessories are becoming a must-have for fashion and style influencers.  Below are the pairs on my wishlist:

$150

$125

$175

$250

For more info on Burkinabaé, click here.

Snapped: Celebs at the ANNIE Premiere

On Sunday, celebs worked the carpet for the ANNIE Premiere which took place at the Ziegfeld Theater in New York City. Everyone from Beyonce to Megan Good came out to show their support of the movie, which stars Jamie Foxx. 

ANNIE hits theaters December 19.

The Terrible 29s 5: Can You Pay My Bills?

Once upon a time, I was a college student, working towards my degree so that I could be an independent woman because BEYONCE told me I should be. How I looked down on those girls who treated college like one big date night. Fast forward 8 years and I fall asleep with my power bill stuck to my face. Who knew tears could be an adhesive?  I AM SO BROKE? WHY AM I SO BROKE?!

Today, most of those date girls are married with kids, enjoying the spoils of being a stay at home mom. Meanwhile, I just bought a roll of toilet paper with pennies from the bottom of my purse. How could I have been so stupid, questioning the formula that had worked throughout the ages, just so I could say I was independent? My mouth waters thinking of how I could have an all-expense paid life- a life free of coupons and leftovers. I have tried taking care of myself and I am woman enough to admit that I have failed. I am now ready for a man that has been socialized to take care of a woman to come in and clean up this mess! From my mouth to God’s ears.

In the meanwhile, how much do you think I can get for pawning my degree?